#i cannot. explain. the feelings. this SONG gives me ... w Those Two Guys .....

[astrxealis]

its hard for me to listen to 'our light' bcs wnvr i do i always look at the lyrics again and i just want to cry so badly

[effielumiere]

Girl of My Dreams: Chapter 2 - Blanket Kick (Embarrassed)

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader / SUGA x Reader

Genre: Romance, Idol AU, Fluff, Angst, Friends to Lovers, Soulmates AU , Age Gap and Drama.

Warning(s): Cursing. Underage reader in flashbacks (Yoongi is aware, momentarily forgot when he tried to kiss her. TRIED. SPOILER). The lyrics are not in order like they are in the song, and the lyrics aren't just Yoongi's parts, they also kinda reflect Yoongi's thoughts during those moments. UNEDITED!

Legend:

"English words that are said as is and or/ translated from English to Korean OR Vice Versa, depending on the POV"

"Korean words"

>Lyrics<

Word count: 3.6k including lyrics.

A/N: Thank you @/doolsetbangtan on twitter for translating the lyrics and explaining every verse and phase of every song by BTS❤️ Please go check out her wordpress blog, she's really cool and her work helped me a lot with writing this series.

Disclaimer: Just a quick reminder to y'all of course that, of course I don't own BTS. And that this story is just an idea of mine, the boys being geniuses they are wrote the songs with a different idea on mind, this is just my wishful thinking on writing lol.

If you want to be added to the taglist of this series, please ask here. or If you want to be part of the permanent taglist and get notified every time I post a new story. And if you want to read more, check out my Park Jimin story!

Don't forget to leave a like, reblog this story and please leave a feedback on what you think about this story :)

Can be read as a stand-alone, but this is part of a series: Read Part One here.

< one | masterlist | three >

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2014

Flight number DL6310 has been cancelled. Passengers of this flight please approach the nearest information desk.

"Oh you have got to be shitting me!" I exclaimed at the board making a few people around glare at me. I walked towards the information desk where they rescheduled my flight to the following week if weather conditions at home got better in the next two days. Once that was settled, I hurriedly ran out of the airport with my hand carry and backpack, and hailed a cab back to my hotel to book a room for another two days, instead of going back to my cousin's house. As I laid on the bed, relishing the cold air of the air conditioner when I decided to take a shower and change clothes before taking an afternoon cat nap. Rummaging through my backpack for something to wear when my book fell out of my bag. Picking it up, I examine the cover and flip the pages with my thumb, stopping at a page I bookmarked with a random receipt that had scribbles. Reading what I wrote.

'Suga. Rapper guy from South Korea. Laundromat. Santa Monica Pier. 3pm tomorrow. '

I stare at the words I wrote for a good second before I finally remember what it was about and who was Suga. I got up leaving the book on the bed as I went to the bathroom to shower, music playing loudly on my phone that I carried with me.

As I was lathering up my body with soap, with shampoo in my eyes when my brain decided to wake up and reminded me that I met Suga yesterday, and that '3pm tomorrow' is 3pm. Today.

"That cannot be today!" I scoff as I reach for my phone and see that it was already 2:45pm making me gasp dropping the phone on the sink as I duck my head back under the shower head trying to hurriedly finish rinsing, "You fucking irresponsible idiot!" I yell, scolding myself as I rubbed shampoo off of my stinging eyes.

Getting on a cab, I give the driver directions telling him to floor it as I silently pray I don't start smelling like sweat by the time i got to my destination fanning myself with the map of California that I had first bought when I arrived earlier in the summer. We were near the pier when the traffic started, the street looked like a damned parking lot. I looked outside the window wondering if I could make it if I either walk fast or run.

"Does this always happen?" I asked exasperatedly at the driver, staring to feel down that I might not see Suga or meet his friends.

"It gets worse to be honest with you," the old man says "The pier is just over there you see?" he points a shaky finger at the ferris wheel "You could just run to get there or walk, I just hope your date doesn't mind if you start smelling like the ocean and sweat combined," he kindly smiles.

"It's really a date, but I hope he doesn't mind the scent," I smile as I start to pull out a few notes and handed it to him "Keep the change, sir. Take care!"

I got out of the cab, straightening my summer dress and quickly jogged towards the pier, map on my head to shield me from the sun. Quickly glancing at my watch, I start to run when it reads 4pm silently praying to destiny that if it's meant to be, he's still there.

~~----~~~----~~

An hour earlier

"Hyung, it's already 3pm," Namjoon points out as I sat on a bench next to the entrance drinking iced coffee.

"Give it a little more time," my manager says, reassuring me "It's still early. Just because you four made a bet doesn't mean you have to hurry."

"Just hand over the money, Jimin-ah," Hobi and Jungkook say as Jimin and Tae dodge them when they try to reach for his pockets "Ya~! You heard manager-nim! It's early!"

"3pm is 3pm," Hobi grins at Jimin "A deal is a deal!"

"Hyung, come on!" Jungkook says as he chases Tae "I'm getting hungry, just hand it over!"

"It's okay, Yoongi," Jin says as he sits next to me watching the other members chase each other, except for Namjoon who stands next to our manager.

As today's activity was unplanned because of yours truly, we treated it as a day off undocumented. And the maknae's being the maknae's were having the time of their life, with some of them wanting to go on rides and wanting to eat any food he sees. There were quite a few people but it wasn't going to stop me from waiting for her.

"You guys can go ahead," I tell the other members "I'll just wait here,"

"What if she doesn't arrive, hyung?" Namjoon asks making Jin yell at him "Ya! Don't say that!"

"All I'm saying is, there's a 10% chance she'll arrive," he points out "Look, all we know is that no one would trust a stranger when they ask to meet them again on the following day, especially when the dude that's twenty when you're sixteen. Not to mention, on a Monday! She could be at school, at work or she could be on another state! It's a giant red flag!

"Yoongi better hope that she likes red, then" Jin says "If she doesn't you owe me a tub of sashimi,"

"And you'll owe me prime beef steak, hyung" Namjoon grins crossing his arms across his chest.

"Well, I'm gonna go with the kids and Hobi to get some food," Namjoon says "We'll be back, hyung" he says as he walks towards the hot dog and taco stand where the other members were, Jin hyung and our a few of our staff stayed behind with me on the bench that looked like something you'd see in a park, two long benches with a table in between. Jin hyung was on his phone playing a game while my manager and I were looking around trying to spot her through the sea of people and while I was doing so, I was quietly talking to myself in head 'It's embarrassing enough that I can't talk to her without a translating app, let alone ask her to meet the boys' I sigh before we left the dorm we were staying at I quickly downloaded a translation app, I didn't want Namjoon or anyone to be translating our conversations if she does show up, 'Embarrassing. It's too embarrassing if Namjoon were to translate what I wanted to tell her, worse if it gets really cheesy and cringey by accident. Namjoon would never let me live that down'.

My legs bob up and down as I get more and more anxious, playing with the rings on my fingers as time passes by I keep telling myself she's probably just getting out of school or work like Namjoon suggested, a part of me hoped that she would be at the laundromat next weekend before we leave, but a part of me was saying that it's impossible. It wasn't until 4:10pm that Namjoon came back with the other members and staff. In my peripheral vision I could see them glancing at each other, communicating through their eyes not wanting me to know that she was probably not going to show up, but also wanting to tell me exactly that. I look down at my feet, a little disappointed that I wasn't going to be able to see her one last time before I go back home to Seoul the day after tomorrow. That she'll forever be a memory, a name, a scent, a feeling.

If I wasn't so taken aback by the situation and if only I didn't get lost in her eyes and the sound of her laugh yesterday, I would have probably asked for her number or her email to keep in contact for her not to be just a memory that I'll carry forever. But I kept wondering, how could one not get lost in her eyes, it looked like the entire galaxy was in her eyes. So hard not to get mesmerized. And her laugh was music to my ears, it was very musical and almost hypnotizing in a sense. 'Forever a memory'.

I sighed heavily as I look at them, and lightly pressed my lips together nodding at them eventually getting up to leave when Jungkook tries to grab my attention by grabbing my sleeve, later followed by Taehyung and a surprised Jimin.

"Woah," Namjoon gapes almost as if starstruck "Now I see what the hype is about" making me slowly turn around and when I saw what they were looking at, I too was starstruck.

>Should I go or not, then I approached

Should I do it or not, then I did it <

~~----~~~----~~

"For the love of God", I gasp hands on my knees "how the fuck do they run in heels when running on sneakers hurt like a bitch?"

I've been jogging and occasionally running when there aren't too many people in my way, not wanting to slow down. It was already past four when the pier was finally in front of me. Looking around I try to look for a familiar face as I walk around, I was getting closer to the entrance when I see a group of people surrounding a bench, they were getting ready to leave when I caught glance of the familiar black hair, pale skin and cat shaped, dark brown eyes.

"Suga!" I yelled as I made my way through the crowd of people who just seemed to magically appear "Suga!" I yelled again on the top of my lungs when I noticed the two other guys he was with from yesterday at the laundromat pulling on his sleeves pointing at my direction, he looks up at them eventually turning to another guy who was next to him and then to my direction. His eyes widen as he walks to me, meeting me half way and when he was in front of me he smiles.

"Hey," I say out of breath.

>I cannot but act awkwardly in front of you again

You’re so pretty, pretty, pretty <

"Hi," he smiles wider "um..." he hesitates before pulling out his phone and typing before handing it over to me.

I'm so happy. You have no idea. I thought you were not going to come today, it made me sad that I won't see you before I go back home.

"You're leaving?" I ask "When?"

"After tomorrow," he says "I go back to Korea, and then I don't know when I'll be back here."

"Oh," I nod, "What a coincidence, I probably leave on the same day too depending on the weather back home"

Suga looks back at his phone again and starts typing

I want you to meet the other members of the group I'm in. They're like my little brothers, one of them can speak English. Would you like to meet them?

He hands me back the phone and I smile when I look back at him, he looked unsure maybe even nervous that I might not say yes, so I surprised him by typing back on his phone and returning it to him.

Yes, please. Lead the way.

When he looks, I reach out to him as of to hold his hand and he does exactly that. Gently holding my hand he leads me towards the table where he was previously sitting. As soon as we get there, he introduces me to his group, starting with Jin, then Hobi, Jimin, and Taehyung and Jungkook who I've met yesterday.

"Y/n, this is Namjoon," he introduces me the guy who was next to him earlier and he smiles before speaking in English. Before Suga starts talking to Jin, Hobi and Jimin.

"It's nice to finally meet you, hyung has told us about you,"

"Hyung?"

"It's an honorific, we use to call someone older than us guys," he explains "It's similar to oppa but for guys we use hyung."

"Oh," I smile "I see, so you were referring to Suga?"

"Yeah," he nods "anyway, he told us that you guys met at the laundromat yesterday after he got challenged to ask you out?"

"He did, but I'm only sixteen," I smiled as I explained "So, a date was out of the question,"

"But you came," he smiles as points out, making an adorable dimple appear

"It's not a date," I chuckle "It's just all of us hanging out,"

"Yeah, let's call it that" he chuckles "By the way, could I ask for your email? We don't exactly have a permanent phone number because we're just here on business. But I know he would like to keep in contact with you.

I'm just beating him to it, because knowing him he'll forget to ask you again later"

"Alright," I giggle "Lemme type it on your phone"

> Though my eyes turn from your eyes, nose, and to lips,

please don’t misunderstand me

I can’t control myself when I see you

I’m really acting silly <

As I finished typing my email on Namjoon's phone and talking to him while I did, Suga returns and asks me if I wanted to walk around so I went with him and walk with him I did.

We ended up talking, well trying at the least. When the conversations were at a point that if Suga couldn't relay what he wanted to say so badly, he'd pull out his phone to translate and if I had something that he didn't understand, I'd end up pulling my phone to translate. This went on for about thirty minutes while we were walking around and we bought food for each other sharing our meals with the other members who sat on the same bench that we sat on. Jokes were passed around on the table, Joon and Suga taking their time to translate the joke to include me in their conversations.

> I can’t control myself when I see you

I’m really acting silly

Holding my breath, I say, “‘cheers’ instead of water”

I’m even not drunk, but I act cute, pretending I’m drunk <

One in particular when Suga reached his limit (which was rare) when they went out for a couple of drinks, went bat shit crazy that they had to hide the alcohol before it got worse. Hobi and Jimin uncontrollably laugh as Namjoon tells the story and Suga just sat there pink tinting his pale skinned cheeks as he kept yelling the word 'hajima!' at them making all of them including the staff laugh at his reaction.

> But my arrow keeps missing the target that is you

Where would it be, would your heart be there? <

After having a snack, Suga- who later told me that his real name was Yoongi, led me to one of the booths where you could win teddy bears and other stuffed toys if he played a game of shooting. Doing that in two rounds, he won and asked me which one I wanted being a medium sized brown stuffed toy that looked like a dog that fit perfectly around my arms when I hug it to my body.

> Time flies without my knowing, tik tok<

By the end of the night, their manager promised to drop me off where I was staying at and when I got out of the van with my new fluffy companion in my arms, Yoongi gets out of the van after what seemed like being lightly pushed by Jimin and Hobi. As he stood in front of me with the van to our side, he nervously smiles as he asks me if we could see each other at the airport before going our separate ways and I say yes as I stare at his cat like dark brown eyes.

> When we got to your house,

I set the mood

and hold your shoulders, thinking I’ll really pretend I’m crazy and do a deep kiss But..<

Before I knew it, we were both leaning in, until a large round that reminded me of a big balloon popping made us jump apart, making us look at the direction where it came from and Jin looked at us sheepishly.

"Ah~, sorry" he apologizes "driver told me to sit in front," he says before moving to the passenger seat and when he opens the door a voice from inside the van yells the same word I heard Yoongi yell before, and Yoongi says his goodbye and tells me to get in the hotel. And he waited until the elevator doors to closed. He did the exact same thing at the airport two days later, he watched me walk to the tube thingy that connected the airplane and the airport. They waved as they watched me leave, stuffed fluffy dog in my arms, Yoongi mirroring my tear filled eyes as we waved goodbye and promised to stay in contact until we meet again.

~~----~~~----~~

"Yoongi!" Jin playfully yelled at me as I sat in the van after watching her get in the elevator of her hotel "What in the world were you thinking? We don't have the money to bail you out of jail, you idiot!"

"Yeah, hyung," Jungkook voiced in the back seat, "what were you thinking?"

"I wasn't," I sighed heavily "that was close, sorry guys. Thanks hyung," I mutter as we head back home.

> Could it be that you’ve already noticed my dark thoughts?

I try to hide my real thoughts, but it doesn’t work and I just rub my face<

In the dorm, as we laid in bed in the darkness I couldn't stop tossing and turning until eventually, I hear a chorus of groans telling me to stop making noise when I violently kicked the blanket and punched my pillow before lying down and repeating it at least two more times, sighing as I did.

> Though I became a cold moon because I was embarrassed to become a sun, after then, I kept making blanket waves on the sea that is my bed

(Splash! splash!)

My achievement is to convert my embarrassment to UFC while jumping up and down like a crazy guy

Giving a swift high kick, throwing jabs and hooks, pounding, and venting it all out again while clutching my blanket/

But, what did my blanket do wrong, pay for it, I just wish you were here /

Why did I do so? My head (spins spins), I just kick the innocent blanket (kick kick) /

I vent my anger on my innocent blanket before bed, It was so good...<

I cringe as the latter of tonight's memory play in my head again when I looked at her pretty eyes and instinctively leaned in to kiss her. Part of me was thinking I'm never going to see her again, better make the most out of it until the boys reminded me by yelling from inside the van that she's only sixteen. It felt like being woken up with ice cold water making me freeze on the spot and halting my actions.

I laid back on my bed, staring at the ceiling wanting to punch it so bad but held back tried my best to sleep. The next day right as we were packing out things, I pulled out notebook and pen writing down lyrics with her on my mind when Namjoon yelled from his spot on the computer.

"Hyung!" he yells "I got an email! Namjoon, it's Y/n. Please pass my email to Sugs."

"Sugs," Jin hyung laughs his signature laugh making the other members laugh as well

"There's a follow up email minutes after that was sent, I meant Suga,"

"Sugs is cute, don't you think?" Jimin asks Hobi and the maknaes, making them head my way as they call me Sugs like their cooing to a baby. It wasn't like I didn't try to stop them, I was out numbered.

At the airport, I immediately spot Y/n as she stood in line with other passengers who were boarding the plane. She stayed behind wanting to be the last passenger as she watched us run up to her. I immediately wrap my arms around her almost afraid to let her go when I heard the announcement that it was the final call for boarding passengers.

She arrived earlier than us to check if she was able to go back home, and when she emailed her flight details and found out it was earlier than expected, we told our staff that we had to go to the airport early which surprisingly enough, they were ready to leave. As soon as I my ticket was handed to me, our manager told Namjoon to go with me. Our gates were next to each other but her plane was leaving soon, so we had to run. The other members soon followed behind, wanting to say goodbye as well. And as we watched her board the plane, I couldn't help but feel sad.

I'm not religious. But in my life there were moments where I couldn't help but pray to whoever would hear me and at that moment as I watch her leave, controlling my tears from falling. I prayed. I promised I'll do everything right. I'd wait for her. Take her on a romantic date. Ask her to be my girlfriend. Spend my life with her. Ask her to marry me. Have kids with her. Grow old with her, just as long as destiny or fate would promise that she's my soulmate as I prayed to see her again.

>To me, it’s only you

Only You<

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Thank you for taking the time to read this, if you want to read more, check out my Park Jimin story!

Don't forget to leave a like, reblog this story and please leave a feedback on what you think about this story, it makes me happy reading your feedback :)

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[isagisyoichi]

YOU MAKE ME FEEL SPECIAL!

SYNOPSIS: niko as your boyfriend

CHARACTERS INCLUDED: niko ikki aka my boyfriend hello

WARNINGS: swearing, pretend all the boys go to the same school and they're all friends for plot, normalize not writing serious boys as someone that practically hates their s/o and never opens up to them god bless, also no such thing as ooc since we dunno shit ab him so everything i say is law. SUPER LONG LOL, it's like 2k+ words 😭

A/N: i love my boyfriend and i'm v happy about all the attention he's getting (even if he will prob will b subbed out 👎) this was fun to write bc i think he would b very soft as bf and also i hate the notion that stoic and serious = boring and detached in a relationship. also first post w the new user yayyyy rip yoichisagis an end of an era for realsies.

FOR: fox anon my beloved this one is for u😩

it takes a while for you two to get together, just because niko wants to think things through and be sure he’s making the right decision, as well as him being naturally apprehensive about this whole dating thing.

when you do eventually start going out, keep in mind you're probably his first real anything, so-

niko needs to take it slow for the first month or so because he needs time to adjust and get used to being in a relationship.

when he gets comfortable around you, niko starts to talk a lot more.

niko starts to talk about his interests more-soccer, stem stuff (idc i'll die by my hc that he's a stem boy), etc. and niko's really happy that you're genuinely interested in what he has to say :)

and as your relationship progresses, niko becomes more inclined to share his inner thoughts.

“this song is so bad, i hate it and how it's everywhere,” like, babe that sucks, but what do you want me to do, take it off the radio myself? 😭

you find out that niko’s kind of a hater LOL, but it’s okay, because it means he can be himself around you <3 and the mini debates you have with each other are fun.

he’s someone you can take shopping with you if you need a solid second opinion.

“ikki, is this cute?” you niko as you adjust the shirt you tried on in the fitting room mirror.

“no.” he’s so straight up LOL. “the blue one from earlier was better.”

“this one?”

“yeah, that one. you look really pretty in it.”

ngl though, niko’s not much of a mall person. he'd just follow you around like a little puppy LOL, but he doesn't mind too much because it's for you.

communication is important to niko!!!!! he wants someone that he can have real conversation about the things that matter to him, so he rly makes an effort to have that kind of connection with you.

niko's naturally funny but he isn't aware that he is lol.

but when he does try, i feel like his humor comes in the form of sarcasm and dry wit. likes poking fun at you here and there with a lighthearted jab.

"you're so weird, y/n," is the most common one.

niko’s naturally closed off emotionally (male aquarius 😒) but i, personally, think he’d really try and push himself to be more open with you, especially if you expressed for him to do so </3

he'd be really appreciative of someone patient and understanding of the fact that he doesn't open up easily, though.

but eventually, you become the person closest to him- niko confides in you a lot, which he’s grateful for because he usually holds everything in.

not one for pda or other lovey-dovey things in public, other than the occasional holding of hands but behind closed doors, niko’s so soft around you, it’s like he’s a completely different person.

also, i feel like niko’s real handsy with you, i get the vibe he’s super touch starved 😭

although it does take him a while to get used to physical affection, once he has, niko cannot get enough. he’s always touching you when he has no real reason to.

(and because you're his first relationship, i feel like it’s just natural that niko’s going to be kind of clingy towards you.)

“you okay, ikki?” you ask as niko suddenly wraps his arms around your waist from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“mhm,” he mumbles. “just wanna be close to you.”

niko likes when you sit on his lap when he’s on his computer. you can have your arms wrapped around his neck, your head resting in the crook of his neck, or you could just be on your phone or whatever, it doesn’t matter, niko just likes you near him.

you guys don’t really talk to each other when you do this, aside from niko occasionally checking up on you and asking if you need anything from him.

but other than that, you guys just enjoy each other's touch in silence. it’s one of his favorite things to do with you.

however, if you start kissing him in the middle of whatever he’s doing and keep it up for long enough, niko will drop everything to make out with you right then and there (also one of his favorite things to do with you).

speaking of kissing- you kiss niko first.

niko would try to plan your guys first kiss out because he wants everything to be perfect.

but, he ends up taking forever to execute it because he keeps overthinking and you can only wait so long before kissing him, so you take matters into your own hands.

his kisses are sloppy and juvenile at the beginning, but he’s smart and learns quickly what you do and don’t like.

likes being kissed on his jaw and forehead the most :')

if the team ever happens to see niko kissing you, they're gonna be so annoying 😭

"yooo niko's making big moves ‼️" "my son's growing up on me!😩" "good job *pats on the back*" and niko is red all over as he drags you away from them, muttering about how childish and annoying they are 😭.

but, they're all very supportive of you guys, even if they're embarrassing as hell 🙄.

they even give niko relationship advice- which luckily, he doesn’t follow (most of the time), because, let’s be honest, if you're getting unsolicited dating tips from a bunch of teenage boys, it’s probably bad 😭.

you’re the only person niko shows his forehead to. just know that having the opportunity to see it means that niko trusts you more than anyone else :’)

repay his trust by kissing his forehead lovingly and showering him with compliments whenever you can !!!!!!!!!!

“y/n, why’re you so embarrassing,” niko says under his breath, blushing as you hold his face and litter soft kisses on his forehead, rambling about how cute he is.

always looks for you in the bleachers when he has a game and you’re always the first person he talks to after.

and the fact that you make an effort to come as often as you can means sooo much to him. definitely considers you to be his biggest fan.

real classy with nicknames- uses “my love/love,” and “darling,” the most.

his favorite petname from you is "pretty boy." gives him butterflies each time he hears it.

the first time you call him that, he's confused, but after you explain that being called pretty is basically the highest compliment a boy can receive, he gets all soft on you.

only uses instagram to like and comment on your pictures and that's it 😭.

comments stuff like “you're so pretty” and "beautiful," without any emojis because niko refuses to use them LOL.

remembers the compliments you give him! they help with his self esteem and i feel like he values your opinion a lot.

so, tell him all about how cute and smart and talented and hot and funny he is and how much you love him and he'll replay it in his head 24/7.

i think he prefers to be the big spoon, unless he's sad- then he really wants you to hold him.

niko gives me homebody vibes, so expect relaxed dates, but still nice, yk?

what i mean is niko's not gonna take you out to get gas station food and call it a day 😭 he's classier than that and he always puts in effort towards dates.

he always plans them ahead of time and takes into consideration what he thinks you'd enjoy. and he insists on paying 🤗.

but, niko always does something special for days like your birthday or an anniversary, like go somewhere fancy if you wanted to or buy a nice gift you've been eyeing for a while.

helps you with your schoolwork, 100%. most of the time niko tutors you because he wants you to actually learn the material, but if you're feeling lazy and just wanna get it over with, niko will just give you the answers.

this is a big deal because i love him and all but, niko gives me the vibe he's super stingy with his work 😭.

"this is the last time i'm going to just give you the answers, y/n." niko sighs out. "you have to start doing your homework by yourself."

niko's said that dozen of times but he's still giving you the answers free of charge. can you guys say #whipped 🤣?

LOL speaking of school, if you ever text him during class, i highly doubt that niko would entertain you 😭😭 (it's out of love, though)

y/n 💗: hiii baby imy 🥰

pretty boy: do your work, y/n.

y/n 💗: ALL I DID WAS SAY HI

pretty boy: pay attention.

y/n 💗: fine ur so lame 👎

pretty boy: whatever you say. i miss you too, by the way.

he likes to moves your hair out your face because he wants to see your pretty face better.

which is why you have to do the same with him 🥰!!!!!! makes him blush like crazy.

gets soooo soft when you post him or even take pictures of you and him together :') just the thought of you wanting to show him off makes him soooo happy.

he won't entertain you if you make a tiktok, though LOL. he's very stubborn in his belief that it's stupid.

just stands in the background with his arms crossed if you try to make him do a dance or something 😭 (he does think you look cute, though).

niko has such nice eyelashes but i doubt he's aware of it 'cause he's, y'know, a boy 🙄.

"my eyelashes are ... cute?" he questions. niko wasn't even aware that such a trivial thing like his eyelashes could be considered cute.

"yes, oh my god," you gush. "they're so long and nice, i wish mine were like that," you groan, examining yours through the camera of your phone.

"you're so weird, y/n," he says, a blush staining his cheeks. "your eyelashes are nicer," he mumbles as he kisses your forehead.

he's one of those people that prefers to be alone, but you're the exception. you know?

niko likes to keep to himself most of the time, but that whole thing doesn't apply to you, because he'd choose to be with you over being alone anytime :')

[in-the-name-of-styles]

Need You.

Author’s Note: Hello! After answering tons and tons of asks, and explaining how Tumblr had deleted the second part “Please Stay” to my one shot named “Only If” for god knows what reasons. I had to do this for you guys. I stopped writing years ago, and but kept my masterlist open for you to come and read my writings whenever you wish to. Trust me, this was so effing difficult for me to do! but I’m kind of proud that I removed the time and managed it. but let me inform you it’s not the same, because I do not remember what happened in the original one clearly. I hope this is a better and hopefully more well-written (amongst my other writings *cringe*) version of the old one.

It’s not proof read. I haven't edited it, so I’m sorry in advance for the typos. 

So, guys, gals and non-binary pals, I present to you (apology for it being light years late) the part two to your favourite little creation of mine “Only If”, with a new identity... please welcome “Need You”!

Do let me know how it makes you feel in the ask box or comment section. I love reading them. Happy Reading!

Word Count: 5K

Warnings: tons of angst with tons of fluff, sensitive harry???? (or do you guys call it sub!harry nowadays??) anyways it’s a cute!harry :P !

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It’s been four hours, and you still weren’t back. Though it wasn’t new for you to go for a drive after an argument with him, you often came back within an hour or two. The blizzard outside was making Harry quite anxious. Even though the fight was extreme, he wanted you back safe and sound. He now realised how harsh he was on you. You didn’t intentionally leak the song. It was a mistake and it could happen to anyone, himself included. He felt guilty over the way he yelled at you; it wasn’t like him to react like that.

Suddenly, Harry felt the need to do something special for you. Though he planned on apologising to you verbally, he wanted his actions to prove it too. He made his way to the kitchen to cook you your favourite meal. He got a hold of his phone and switched on the playlist which include all the songs both of you enjoyed. the sound of the vessels clucking against each other minimised over the song playing on through the speakers.

A smile lit up on his face as he reminisced back to the moment when you were dancing to this song while making the two of you breakfast.

FLASHBACK

Harry rubbed his eyes as he walked down the stairs, his dimpled smile already making its appearance when he heard your voice blasting through the kitchen entrance. He didn’t know why you bothered turning the song on so loud, you were anyways going to be louder. He stopped at the kitchen entrance, a silent laugh escaped him as he leaned against the door frame and took in the scene going on in front of him.

“You say you want a good time! Well here I am, baby, here I am, baby” you belted out loud, cheeks turning red with the happiness radiating out of you. You’d decided that the whisk was your microphone of choice with batter stuck to it and everything. You’re moving those luscious hips which drive him crazy right to the rhythm of the song.

“Talk to me, talk to me, talk to me talk to me, tell me what's on your mind!” you missed a note but you don’t care. This scene right in front of him, he wished he could capture and watch it forever. Bruno Mars did bring a wild side out of you, and he couldn’t bring himself to be jealous of the multi-talented singer. He would give anything to see you like this. Knowing you’re the shy type who doesn’t enjoy too much of attention, getting to watch you like this was definitely a sight.

He walked right up to you and wrapped his arms around you slowly. You jumped in a scare, as you were lost in your own world. “Harry! You scared me.” You complained, trying to ignore the blush on you cheeks after you realised he must’ve been watching you from a far.

He nuzzled into your neck and sighed, while pressing a kiss there, “Hmm… I’m sorry, m’love. But you just looked so beautiful I didn’t want to stop you.” He murmured while pressing more kisses to your neck, then trailing them up to your jawline. “Y’ look utterly ravishing right now. Forget pancakes, instead I’ll have you for breakfast.” He smiled and went on to kiss your cheeks. His comments made you smile. He saw his chance and lightly bite the side of your cheek. You squealed and tried to push him away.

“H, stop!” you laughed. He tightened his arms around you and swayed to the beat of the song then went on to sing next lyric “Tell me baby, tell me, tell me baby what you tryna do!” he slightly lifted up your t-shirt and moved one of his hands under it, and muttered, “huh? What are you trying to do to me, baby?” and pressed yet another kiss to your cheek.

“Gosh, your hands are extremely cold!” you gasped. He then turned you around to face him. You instinctively wrapped your arms around him. The two of you smiled quietly towards each other, then he leaned down to kiss you properly. You shifted one of your hands into his the nape of his neck and the other went on to cup his cheek. He moved one of his around your shoulder and the other around your waist. Both of you sighed and bathed in each other’s presence.

“G’morning, froggy” you teased as pulled away first and smiled up at him. He frowned and tutted, then smacked your ass lightly. You always teased him for his morning face, said it looked like a cute frog. He rubbed the area he spanked and quickly pecked you once again before pulling away to look at you.

Brushing away the hair stuck to your face, “Morning, precious. How’re you feeling?” he asked, hugging you towards his chest. Let’s just say the rest of the day went on just like this. Him being needy for your attention, and you loving on him without any hold backs.

END OF FLASHBACK

Right as he was getting ready to plate the dish, the doorbell rang. He smiled, happy to finally have you home. He quickly washed his hands and walked up to the door as he rubbed his hand dry with the towel which was once on his shoulder. He buzzed you in thinking you’ll unlock the main door with the security code. But after two minutes of waiting and not seeing you walk through the door, he turned on the camera above his buzzer to see what was wrong.

He frowned when he saw two police officers standing outside his door. His heart suddenly started racing at rapid speed. He rushed towards the door and unlocked them. Coming face to face with the two sombre looking men, he tentatively asked, “G’ evening, officers. How may I help you?”

The two men exchanged looks and the tall one replied, “Sir, there has been an accident and we found an ID on the victim. Is this Ms. Y/N Y/L/N residence? we’re here to inform you about the unfortunate event.”

“I-I don’t understand? What happened?” he stuttered, his legs almost felt as if they were about to give up.

“Unfortunately, we don’t have much information for you. May we ask what’s your relation to the victim?” the other officer asked, and gave him an apologetic smile.

“Fiancé.” He cleared his throat, trying to calm himself down. He could feel his panic attack rising. “I’m her fian-” he shook his head, “Just tell me where she is please…” he pleaded and quickly put on his shoes. He took his car keys and raced up to his rover.

“She’s over at St. Thomas, Mr. Styles.” The officers had clearly recognised the distressed man. “Here’s her ID. We hope everything is well.”

Harry couldn’t bring himself to thank them as he started his car and backed out of the parking spot. He raced up to the hospital, and once he reached, he ran up to the reception.

“Y-Y/N Y/L/N? S-She just c-came in? I’m her f-fiancé?” He gasped out your name. The lady was busy tending to others to notice him. “Hey! Hey! Please ma’am just tell me where she is!” he was on the verge of weeping in front of her.

The old lady looked at him with a bit of annoyance, “Take a breath, young man. I’m trying my best here!” She walked up to him. “Now tell me, what was her name again?”

“Y/N Y/L/N!” He rushed. He couldn’t stand straight. Once he got what he wanted, he ran towards the elevator, up to the fifth floor. The corridor was busy and he couldn’t care less about pushing people aside. He just wanted to get to you as soon as he could. He found your door and barged in, not caring about the doctors around your bed.

“Y/N!” He rushed to your side, dropping beside your bed.

“Sir you can’t be her-” the male nurse tried to pull him back.

“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry, precious!” He cried, trying to get the man off of him and get back to you. “I’m here now, okay? I’m not going anywhere- GET OFF ME. SHE NEEDS ME!” he yelled pushing the guy away.

“Hey man you’re no good to her at the moment yeah? Let the doctors do their job!” the nurse tried to make him understand while pulling him back yet again. Tears streamed down his face as he tried to reach to you. He sobbed over your state, blood was streaming down your forehead, and all he wanted to do was protect you and wrap his arms around you.

“No I need to be here! Please let me!” he cried. All of sudden a beep brought his cries to a halt. He looked around frantically wanting to know what had happened. “W-What’s wrong?!” he hiccupped.

The doctor and the nurses around him started rushing around the room. He then heard those words which made his heart stop, “She has flat-lined! Someone pass me the defibrillator!” the  doctor raised his voice.

Harry couldn’t believe this was happening. The nurse had enough of the unwilling man and pushed him out the door, “Sir we cannot help her if you’re being difficult. Please calm down and go to the waiting room. We will inform you about her doing as soon as we can.” and then shut the door to his face. Harry could no longer see you. The group of doctors, covered your body.

He slid down the wall next to your door and sobbed into his hands. Only if he would’ve stopped you from leaving. Only if he would’ve told you that he forgives you and that he loved you more than anything. Only if he would’ve let the argument die and kiss you instead. Only if…

Later, the upset man walked himself to the toilet. He caught his reflection in the mirror. He didn’t care about his red swollen eyes, his sweaty forehead and matted hair. The image of you lying on that bed yet again brought tears to his eyes. The thought of you not making it made him retch and he rushed into one of the restrooms. He dry-heaved and cried. Once he was able to breathe, he took out his phone.

Sniffling as he dialled the only number he could think of, The voice on the other side made him breakdown. “Mum I-” he couldn’t complete his sentence, as he tried to wipe his eyes.

“Harry? Darling what’s wrong?!” she asked shocked at her son’s rapid breathing.

“Y/N s-she is- Mum I can’t lose her. I’m such an idiot. I shouldn’t have let her leave. What if she doesn’t make it?” He wept while running his sticky fingers through his hair.

“Love, what-” she tried to ask him, but he cut her off.

“What if she…What if she dies, mum?” he cried and coughed.

His mother had figured out by now that you were not okay, and might be admitted in the hospital. She tried to calm her son through the phone. Unfortunately, she wasn’t near him and by the time she would reach it might not be enough. So she did the only thing she could once Harry hung up the phone, she rang up his friends.

Harry sat himself down on one of the wating room chairs. No one was telling him anything, he had no idea how you were doing or if you were okay. He was out of tears, and soon enough the exhaustion took over him. He didn’t even realise when he had fallen asleep until he felt a hand brush the back of his head. He opened his eyes and saw his two friends crouching in front of him.

“Hey buddy…” Louis smiled softly. Harry jolted back up, and got up to run towards your room. But before he could stand up straight Mitch stopped him. “H, they just came in here to inform us about her condition.”

“How’s she? Is she okay? Is she awake? She needs me, I need to be beside her.” He rushed. His two close friends, tried to calm him down.

“They said she’s stable now, mate. But we aren’t allowed to meet her yet, okay?” Louis stated.

Harry took deep breaths and looking at their extremely destressed friend, Louis pulled him into a hug. Getting the comfort he desperately needed, Harry started sobbing again. He was tired of crying but he couldn’t bring himself to stop.

“Everything is going to be okay, Harry. She’s our little tigress, she’s going to pull through, yeah?” Mitch ran a hand drown his friend’s shoulder. Harry nodded lightly and tried to slow down his heart.

48 Hours Later

It’s been two days, yesterday Harry was allowed to visit you since they moved you out of the ICU. Thankfully, your internal recovery was rapid, and you could wake up anytime. He was getting a bit impatient. He wanted to see you open those shiny eyes and look at him the way you always did, with so much love that made him giddy and flustered. These past two days he’s been talking to you, continuously apologising for his behaviour, and how he’s going to make up for everything that went wrong. You just had to come back to him.

“and then Louis got frustrated because Mitch was not answering him. But that’s Mitch for you, right?” he slightly smiled and ran the hand which wasn’t holding you hand, through your hair. “You’re going to hate your hair, once you wake up. You always like them a certain way, don’t you? But don’t you worry, I’ll help you wash your hair as soon as you wake up and come back home.” He stated and kissed your hand. He was silent for a while, just continued to run his hand through your hair.

“You’re going to come back to me, right precious?” he asked quietly, “Why aren’t you waking up, huh? Your froggy needs you to open your eyes....” he continued, as he forced a laugh out of his throat which had a huge lump in it. His eyes turned misty as he continued, “I hate it here. Seeing you like this is a nightmare. I miss you so much. I miss you calling me annoying little names. I miss you smacking me when I’m being a narcissistic little prick. I miss your voice. I miss everything about you, and even though it’s just been two day, I feel like it’s been forever. Wake up, baby. Please…” he pleaded.

As the day turned into night, Harry decided to stay back. He asked for an extra blanket and a pillow for his makeshift bed on the couch. He didn’t know why he bothered because he spent the entire night sitting beside you, holding your hand as he fell asleep leaning against it.

You could listen before you could see. The only thing you could hear was the air conditioner and someone lightly snoring against your right hand. You tried to move your fingers as you opened your eyes. The bright light made you squint, you blinked rapidly as your vision cleared. You turned to your right and saw Harry’s peaceful face sleeping against your hand. You felt the need to clear your throat, and your eyes searched the room for a glass of water. But the sound made Harry wake up from his sleep. He lifted his face and wiped the little drool from his face and the little amount on your hand.

“whoops, you’d kill me now if you were awak-” he turned to look at your face, and he had to double take. He gasped, almost falling off this chair. “Y/N…Oh my- you’re awake!” he nearly yelled. He pressed the button to call the nurse and then cupped your face going on to press kisses to your face, “Baby I was so scared. I thought I had lost you!” He laughed his airy laugh and looked at you with utter happiness.

For some reason, you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. The words he said to you were the only thing swimming through your mind. For you time had stood still, like the fight had happened mere hours ago. You moved your face away from his hands. Harry frowned noticing this change in your mood.

“Hey what’s wrong? The doctor is on her way, yeah. Do y’need anything?” he asked frantically following your eyes round the room. He saw you eye the plastic cup beside your bed, “Y’ want water? Hold on I’ll get it for you.” He ran to the other side and brought the cup up to your face. You didn’t realise how thirsty you were until the first sip hit your throat, you started gulping it down quickly.

“Take it easy, precious. They took out the tube just yesterday.” He explained softly.

Once your thirst was quenched he kept the cup aside then went on to pull his sleeve over his knuckles and wiped the wet corners of your mouth. You moved your face aside yet again, he couldn’t understand what was wrong. But before he could ask you, the doctor came in to check on you. She did her tests and asked a few questions. She left as soon as she was done, and told you even though the injury looked worse than it actually is, you had take it easy for a couple of days.

Neither of you spoke for a few minutes, “How’re you feeling, love?” he asked quietly. You nodded, “I’m okay.” He came up to you and raised his hand to caress your cheek. But before he could touch you, your head turned to the opposite side. He couldn’t take it anymore, so he asked you.

“Will you please look at me? What’s happened, precious?” as he caressed your hair.

“Why should I look at you, Harry? So you can tell me how careless I am, or how I’m not trustworthy?” you rasped quietly. For a minute he was unable understand what you were trying to say. Then flashbacks from your fight the other night came back rushing to him. The things he said to you, and how guilty he felt later. His words had left a huge impact than he thought they did.

He took your face in his hand with very much to little force, he had to tell you this, “Y/N y’have absolutely no idea for how sorry I am for that night-” but you didn’t let him complete.

“That’s only because I got into this accident.” You snapped. He shook his head rapidly, he saw you getting worked up over this. You’ve always been a little firecracker, and you never failed to tell him when he was being a dick or to defend yourself quite amazingly, he always loved that quality. Apropos, he couldn’t let you hurt yourself in this condition.

“First of all, please calm down-” he started, “don’t tell me to calm down, harry!” you raged. He hated himself for smiling when you’re clearly very upset. But for the past few days he had to witness you lie there lifeless which had taken a toll on his mental state. He loved the fact that you were awake, so you yelling at him was more of a reward than a punishment. You looked at him sharply and saw him not taking you seriously, this brought tears to your eyes.

You sniffled and looked away from him to rest your head against the pillows on the raised up side of your bed roughly. Harry’s small smile melted away as quickly as it appeared. He rubbed the side you almost banged to the pillow, “I’m so sorry, precious. I swear I did not mean anything I said.” He pleaded and took a seat down on the chair beside you.

Right then the nurse which pushed him out of the room the other day and now was much like a friend to him entered the room with a tray which had a bowl of soup and jello in it. Harry smiled at him gratefully and took the tray from him as the guy set up the table on your bed.

“How’re you feeling, Ms. Y/L/N?” he asked once he was ready to leave. You gave him a small smile and said you were feeling better. The moment he left Harry looked back at you with a longing look on his face, when you refused to look at him he sighed and set the tray down on the small table and took a seat in front you on the bed. He looked at you as he removed the metal spoon from its cover, and then went on to remove the cover set on top of the soup. He blew light air on the spoonful of soup, then brought it up to your mouth. You refused to touch it. He sighed and looked at you pleadingly, “Y’ know someone told me we shouldn’t remove our anger on food.” He stated, turning your words against you.

You glared at him in anger for minute as he looked at you with a loving smile. “Please?” He moved it closer to your mouth, “You’ve got to eat it, I’m not budging unless you do, Y/N.”

Even though you wanted to stay stubborn, you were kind of hungry. So you let him feed you the soup. When he got to the jello, you refused profoundly. “But it’s the chocolate flavoured one! Remember the time we used to share one when I was here for my fractured foot? C’mon we’ll share this one too, if y’want?” he tried convincing you with his soft eyes.

“I don’t want to share it with you. Actually, I don’t want anything to do with you at the moment to be completely honest.” you snapped. You were aware of the fact that you were being very unreasonable and bitchy but it was his words that has caused extreme hurt to you. Your words hurt Harry, and it was evident on his face. He wrapped up the jello and cleared everything. The day passed, and in the evening your last visitor entered the room.

“There she is!” Louis came up to you and hugged you lightly, making sure not to hurt you. “Hello, darling. How’re you?” he kissed your forehead. Harry left you alone with him as he went to get the two of them some coffee.

“What’s happened to him? Why the long face still? I mean I get that Harry loves to pretend that he’s this macho man and all. S’ a bit ridiculous to be honest. Like who’s he kidding, he’s a puppy.” Louis laughed. You smiled at this.

“I’m still a bit upset with him over our fight. So I haven’t been talking to him.” You explained. Louis frowned at this and then sighed, “Oh love don’t do that... This has been very tough for him. Should’ve seen his state these past few days. The man has been a mess ever since the officers came to your house that night.”

“I’m trying, Lou. But I just can’t forget all the things he said. I was so hurt, I still am!” you rubbed your forehead, as it was beginning to give you an ache.

“He’s very sorry, Y/N. Trust me when I say that I’ve never seen him like I saw him that day. He just wanted you to wake up. He was just blaming himself, how he shouldn’t have let you leave the house.” He took a hold of your hand, “he loves you so much, darling. He’s absolutely mad over you.” He rubbed your hand, “A’bit obsessed if you ask me. If I were you I’d have him get that checked with a therapist.” He joked, you laughed loudly. He smiled with you, and passed you the water you signalled for.

“Forgive him, Y/N. He can’t even bring himself to go home. The only time he went there was to get some clothes, and to put the dinner he made for you in the rubbish bin.” He sassed. “and I know I’m speaking for Mitch too here when I say this, but both him and I could use a break from all the non-stop stress weeping calls we’ve been getting from him.” You gasped at him with a mock offence for Harry, and lightly smacked his shoulder. You were always thankful for Louis in moments like these. He was a great friend to you and Harry.

Harry came back with two coffees and passed one to his blue-eyed friend. He took a seat on the sofa which was against the wall, and the three of you, though it was mostly you and Louis, had a light conversation while the men finished up their coffee. Louis bid his farewell with another kiss on your forehead and a well wish, you thanked him and waved goodbye. Harry walked him out the door, and came back in a second later.

“Y’ need anything?” He asked as he took a seat on the chair beside you. You shook your head as you observed him fidgeting with the cuticles of his nails. He did that when he was anxious.

Neither of you spoke for a while. But the minute you heard a sniffle, you snapped your head towards him. You tried to get a look at his face, the tip of his nose was a bit red and he was now fidgeting with his feet too. He wasn’t crying but he sure was on the verge of it.

You suddenly felt an overwhelming amount of love for the man in front of you. You leaned against your bed and sighed, smiling a little. It’s pathetic how in love you were with each other. You couldn’t even stay mad at him.

“Harry?” You whispered softly. He hummed without looking up. So you continued, “I need you to do something” you faked a stern voice to play with him a bit more.

“Yeah sure, what’s it?” he muttered as he got up and rubbed his hands down his thighs, then finally looked at you. You looked at him without an expression and said, “I need you to come here and give me a good cuddle, a kiss too if I like the cuddle.” And then smiled at him lovingly. He looked at you for a second. You almost thought he was  going to yell at you, but the opposite happened. He started tearing up and heavy tear drops ran down his cheeks.

You gasped and quickly leaned forward to take a hold of his hand which was near you. “Oh Harry..” You whispered as you pulled him near you. He the minute you sat him in front of you, he started crying heavily. You were so shocked yet you’ve never been more mesmerised by him. You quickly tried wiping his tears away and comforted him, “Honey, don’t cry. I’m not upset anymore!”

“I-I’m honestly s-sorry! I promise I didn’t mean what I said that day, Y/N!” he tried to speak while wiping his tears.

“I know, babe. I know!” you tried to say it properly but it came out in a laughing manner and tried to draw the crying man close to you, but seeing you laugh made him more upset and he pushed you away lightly, so you forcefully pulled him into a cuddle.

He told himself he’s letting himself be pulled because he didn’t want to hurt you, but it was actually because he wanted you close, so he went in head first. You lay down against the pillows and cuddle him against your chest. He went on sniffling into your neck and wrapped his arm around your waist.

“Harry why are you crying!” you tried controlling your laughter. He whined and pulled his face away, “Y’were so fucking mean since the moment you woke up. I didn’t expect it.” He said and hiccupped, thanks to the sobbing breakdown he just had. You pulled on your lips so you wouldn’t smile.

“Well now you know, honey. It hurts, doesn’t it? You were so mean to me too!” You teased. He nuzzled back into your neck, pressing kisses there which always made you giggle.

“I’m really sorry, precious. Honestly, I really am.” He said into your neck, yet producing another hiccup. You couldn’t control yourself anymore so you smiled and pressed a quite a few smooches to his temple, and inhaled his comforting scent.

“It’s okay, baby. I forgive you. I’m sorry for my foolish mistake too, I really didn’t mean to ruin your hard work like that.” You apologised. He pulled away and brought the hand that was around your waist to your cheek and said, “I forgave you a long time ago, but you honestly don’t have to apologise at all. It could happen to anyone, m’love. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did. Y’know I made dinner and everything as an apology. But then the officers…” his tone dropped and he couldn’t continue. So, you sadly smiled and pulled him in for a kiss.

He sighed and reciprocated the kiss with so much love and passion that you couldn’t help but wrap the arm which around his shoulder a bit more tighter and ran the other through the back of his head gently. The two of you pulled away and looked into each other’s eyes, he moved the hair that escaped from your braid and tucked it behind your ear, “I was so scared. I thought I had lost you.” He whispered softly, and swallowed the small lump, “I missed you a lot, baby” he said and you couldn’t help but peck his cute pout.

“I missed you too, froggy” you replied. The pet name made him reward you with a dimpled smile. He nuzzled into your neck and whispered, “I love you.”

“and I love you.” You kissed his forehead.

“Just for your information, I’m not letting you out of my sight for a really long time.” He stated sternly.

You laughed but stopped when you saw he wasn’t joking, “You know I have to work, right?”

“Y’can easily take a break for a month or two.” He said, as he yawned and cuddle closer to you. “A MONTH OR TWO?! Have you gone mad?” you gasped, lightly pulling on his hair.

“No I haven’t. Try to get rid of me, baby. I dare you.” He laughed a scheming laugh. You knew he wasn’t joking. He tended to become quite paranoid and obsessive over you when situations like these occur. But you wouldn’t have him any other way.

“We’ll see, mister.” You said, and caressed the back of his head.

“oh we will, missus.”

The End.

Author’s Note: I really put in a lot of efforts on this one, so you guys kind of owe me *wink* y'all gotta humour my praise kink now!!! ;P

Love you guys! 

[444tsumu]

HAPPY 100 MARS!!!/&/&: AHHH! okay so i’d love a tier three if you didn’t mind! i wanted to know which 3 characters would smoke ouid and what you think smoking with them would be like? ily tysm!

▭ WHICH CHARACTERS SMOKE WEED?

includes matsukawa, hanamaki, suna

warnings drug use, explicit content, doing things under the influence, implied sexual content, slight nsfw.

authors note lol ik some people don’t like the whole “w*ed” and dr*g use hc but it’s all fiction and based on my own personal opinion (: i don’t mean to offend anyone lol i smoke too <3

This is a long one, beware <3 also it’s also my dream blunt rotation LMAO

                          𖥻 MATSUKAWA, ISSEI !

definitely the philosophical stoner

always has a question or an answer

depends on how much he’s smoked though

eyes get really red and he looks really hot

prefers backwoods over regular papers

always smoked regular papers though bc woods are bad for you (:

does that thing where they lick the paper and look at you at the same time

the hottest man smoking ever god please

always makes sure to have you sitting on his left so that he passes it to you first

loves smoking people out

doesn’t really care if you put in money or not

if issei is around, everyone is getting high

smokes makki’s unemployed ass out like everyday lmao

loves to hotbox

lights you up for the first time and tries to get you into another galaxy

“if you’re gonna get high, at least do it right”

definitely funny as fuck when he’s high

always definitely ready to fuck

very touchy when he’s high

will hold on to you for a long time and forget he’s doing it

but if you make him let go he genuinely feels the skin contact nearly rip off

calm down mattsun your possessiveness is showing

tries to explain all the different types to you but forgets mid sentence

literally cannot formulate a single structured thought

definitely leans in to make out with you more than once

loves shotgunning with you

already lazy but when he’s zooted he’s UNBEARABLE

he really does wanna fuck but ends up smoking too much with you because you played chicago and forgot

doesn’t really get hungry for food but munchies?

ate all of the snacks

has no remorse for his actions either

stares into the deep nothing for like 10 minutes

just to snap out of it and look around suspiciously

“do you guys hear that….?”

“…..no?”

“………..the paint is screaming at me?”

ok buddy don’t ruin this for everyone else

knows how to french & ghost inhale

has argued with makki many times over the earth being flat

doesn’t really think it’s flat

ends up believing it is after makki told him the world was actually dome shaped

has a grinder shaped like a dragon ball

not a peer pressuring kinda guy but thinks everyone should get high at least once

definitely gets iwa and oikawa to try

loves getting oikawa high cause he thinks the guy is fucking hilarious

laughs at everything

just a great guy, especially when he starts smoking

falls into a weed coma and doesn’t wake up for like 3 days though

treats it like it’s a regular hangover

definitely falls asleep with his entire body on top of you and no remorse for the weight

says “i’m fried” and isn’t embarrassed about it for whatever reason

he’s hot so no one judges him

                      𖥻 HANAMAKI, TAKAHIRO !

definitely a comedian when he’s high

always the funniest guy in the room

when him and mattsun are together though?

undefeated

him and issei both smoked for the first time together

after that though?

they became unstoppable

don’t get me started with after volleyball season ended

prefers bongs because he thinks he looks cooler lmao

everyone assumes makki is high but they don’t know he actually gets high

offers to smoke you out cause you’re hot lmao

makes fun of you when you cough

even though he still coughs

hates hotboxing because he can’t handle it

but refuses to pussy out so he’s always the first one to agree

in his own words

“my mother didn’t raise no bitch”

makki please

ideal smoking partner

is one of those people that fuck the passing rotation up because he refuses to pass it to anyone but you

secretly does it because he doesn’t want anyone else’s lips touching yours

prefers to smoke with just his close friends but doesn’t mind a session

doesn’t like shotgunning cause he starts thinking his breath smells bad

gives in anyways because he doesn’t want you doing it with anyone else

loves when you put your legs on him

the pressure gives him chills

makes jokes 24/7 because he likes hearing you laugh

can’t french inhale but mattsun taught him how to ghost inhale and he hasn’t stopped since

takes videos of himself cause he thinks he looks cool

realizes he looks like a fucking idiot but fuck it we ball

falls into a weed coma with his head on your lap and his phone unlocked and still on

does that thing where he lights it up with it in his mouth and looks really fucking hot while doing so

has a breaking bad rick & morty rolling tray and is really proud of it

gets really into music when he’s high

will sing along to all the songs while he’s packing the bong

as i repeat

looks hot while doing so

definitely a hungry high

orders food before you even get to ask

“makki, want some snacks?”

“oh nah it’s cool, i already ordered mcdonald’s”

“????? we just finished smoking????”

prefers smoking over drinking but will do both when he wants to go big or go home

eyes get really low

talks kinda slow but really deep and it’s fucking hot

laughs by throwing his head back and it’s really cute

gets cold when he’s high

it doesn’t matter the season

he gets fucking cold and it makes no sense

so he’ll need your body heat to warm himself up (;

                            𖥻 SUNA, RINTAROU !

a confused high

no doubt about it

this man never knows what the fuck is going on

ik everyone complains about the stoner!suna hc

but i think it’s fucking hot lmao

always has like 2 blunts rolled and on him at all times

is one of those people that will use any excuse to do it

“……(sighs) i’m gonna go take a smoke break.”

“suna we just got here??”

“exactly”

likes joints and edibles the best

not much of a hungry high or munchie high

but he hyperfixates on a certain food and will eat it until there is nothing left

ate an entire pack of gum in one sitting before

definitely watches cartoons the minute he starts to feel the buzz

rarely talks unless to pass it to you or make a single joke that has you about to pee yourself

he doesn’t say much but when he does?

the man leaves an impact

hates smoking with other people

doesn’t like when they fuck his blunt/joint up

hates smoking joints rolled by other people unless he watches them do it

always complains when you ask to smoke with him but secretly loves it

shotguns with you and acts like nothing just happened

hello sir how dare you make me fall inlove like that

forgets everything so don’t try to say anything important to him

zones out because he’s too busy imagining fucking

but then forgets about fucking and starts thinking about what’s on the tv

can’t hold a conversation but will go in-depth as to why spongebob squarepants was more than just a sponge

“no you need to listen to me, patrick star is much more than just his best friend—”

“….rin what the fuck are you talking about?”

“you’re asking me like i know? pass the blunt.”

definitely got into smoking in high school but didn’t actually do it like that until college

lies on his drug tests lmao

smokes after every win as a celebration and smokes after ever loss as a reliever

lmao seek help sir

definitely tries to get you to take your shirt off when he’s in the moment

swears it’s because he’s doing you a favor but really just loves how you look in his clothes when he’s high

doesn’t really know when to stop because he’s never greened out before

all his supplies is a simple shade of black

he’s a simple man

can do all the smoke tricks

but won’t do it in front of anyone cause he hates when people point it out

likes hotboxing because it gets him higher faster

is actually friends with the guy he gets weed from lmao

his perfect date with you was that one time you guys stood home and did nothing but smoke and watch family guy

tears up every time he thinks about it

has a picture of himself with two blunts in his mouth and his eyes really red and it’s really fucking hot

giggles even though he tries not to

uses pens when he can’t physically have weed on him

doesn’t really like it because the pen high makes him knock out after a few pulls

once rin falls into a weed coma???

don’t even think about trying to contact him cause that man might as well be dead

doesn’t wake up to save his own damn life

you can smack him and the most he’d do is probably groan and turn his head lmao

[mrsbrookegillespie]

Line Without A Hook Alive!Luke x Reader (Part One)

Based Of The Song Line Without A Hook by Ricky Montgomery 

Please Read Beforehand: If you know about what's going on with Charlie Gillespie, great, if you don't, great, please do not talk about it in the comments, or ask me about it, as the comments will be removed if so. I do not define a character by it's actor, so no bashing the character because of the drama that's going on. Please, and thank you.

Description: You are Alex's little sister. What happens when it gets addressed to him that Luke likes you?... And you might like him too. (Alive!Luke x Reader) (Alex x Sibling!Reader)

Warnings: Mild swearing, mild angst (because me), some fluff.

=Line Without a Hook=

"I'm going to tell her," Luke announces.

"Tell her what?" Julie asks from the couch, calmly yet curiously.

Alex perks up on his stool, stopping his previous movements (twirling his drumsticks). "Who?" he asks, narrowing his eyes.

"Alex! I thought you were with Y/N today." Luke adjusts his vest.

Avoiding his questionable glares, Alex stands up. "So, who are you going to tell what?"    

"Oh-um-I-did I say something?" Luke stutters.

"Julie?" Alex calls out.

"What?" Julie continues to look down at her Biology textbook.

"It seems like you know who this "her" is. So spill? Is it someone you like, Luke? Why does Julie know, but not me?" Alex starts to get worked up.

"Oh, I know," Reggie adds, stupidly.

Luke gives Reggie a 'don't' look. "Yeah, it's someone I 'like', but Alex. Okay, I-I don't know how to tell you this, but... I-I like... Y/N," he admits, the end being barely audible.

Alex gives a blank stare towards Luke. "I'm sorry." He leans his ear closer. "Could you repeat that for me? Because I must have misheard. You like who?"

Luke gulps, swallowing down his fear. "I like Y/N," he repeats, slowly.

"I'm..." Alex takes a deep breath. "I'm going to..." His voice keeps failing him. "No."  

"No?" Luke questions. "You're saying I can't tell her I like her?"

"You cannot date her," Alex argues. "I don't care if she likes you back, you--no!" Alex gestures a strangling motion towards Luke. "You can't date my little sister." He points at Luke, before pacing around the studio.

"Alex," Julie joins, dragging out the syllables of his name. "Give Luke a chance, he is your best friend, can't you trust him?"  she advises.

"No!" Alex shouts. "I mean I trust you, but not with Y/N."

Luke's eyes widen. "That doesn't make any sense . What is that even supposed to mean?"

"It means! I've seen you take and throw away girls in the matter of days I'm not going to have you hurt her. She's already so fragile, and you'll only make it worse," Alex explains. "And if something happens between you two, and you can't stand to be near each other... You know who I'll choose to side on. If I ever had to choose between the band, and my sister. I'm going to choose her."

"But, I would never hurt her," he pauses. "You're not even going to give me a chance?!"

"When did this start?" Alex asks, urgently.

"When..." Luke lets out a shaky inhale. "When I first met her."

"I knew it! From the looks you were giving her, the compliments, how you wanted her to paint you, and now you have said painting in your room where anyone can see it, the way you gave her your clothes when she was cold, I knew it wasn't you being 'friendly'." Alex throws his hands up. "Why? Why is it the first time you actually 'like' someone it's the person I care about the most? Someone I'm related to? Someone I can't bear to see heartbroken?"

"But, I really like her, and I just want you to see--"

"I said no!" Alex snaps. "Listen closely, I'm going to tell you this one more time... No."

"Give me a reason why!" Luke defends. "A solid reason why."

Alex's eyes now a dark blue. "Because she's a lady, and you're just a boy."

"What?" Luke asks, taking it as an insult.

Reggie pops up from his criss cross position. "He said she's a lady, and you're--"

"You're just a line without a hook," Alex cuts Reggie off. "You'll never be able to handle her emotions, insecurities, feelings. And you--," Alex lets out a cold laugh, "--you will never be her first boyfriend, her first everything, because I know you'll screw up her expectations."

"What's going on?" Everyone turns their head towards the entrance.

"Y/N," Julie states, standing up. "I thought you weren't able to come by?"

"I'm very persuasive," she replies, breathless. "Alex?" she questions, averting her eyes between him and Luke.

"Y/N, how much did you...?" Alex's gaze softens seeing his little sister so vulnerable. "You're crying," he observes.

"No, I'm not," she weakly assures.

Her puffy red eyes, and pale complexion justifies her claims as false. "What's wrong?" Luke asks.

"You didn't answer my question." She ignores her friends, and brother's concern.

"I can explain," Alex starts.

Y/N runs off before he has the chance to get another word out. "Don't," Julie warns Luke who tries to go after her. "Alex, it's your sister, you need to talk to her about what she wants, I get it you're scared, and you care about her feelings, but she's very mature. And as her best friend, I also worry, but I trust her."

Alex looks as Julie who's giving him a pointed look. "I hate it when you're right."

He jogs off, trying to find her. Quickly spotting her sitting down one of the stone steps outside. "I'm too tired to run off any further."

Alex laughs despite the context. He walks up to sit down next to her. "What happened today?"

She shrugs. "Got my report card," she whispers.

"Y/N, I'm sorry are you--"

"No," she interrupts. She rustles through her backpack, pulling out the sheet of paper.

Alex gasps a little. "Straight A's?" She nods. "Y/N, that's incredible!" He hugs her. "I'm so happy for you." She lets out a small smile. "So, then why are you crying? This is great news."

"Because the only reason I'm getting these grades is because of you, Luke, and Reggie. Yes, Reggie." She giggles. "You underestimate him too much. You guys help me so much, and I'm--I guess--it's stupid," she ends up saying.

"What?"

"I just... I wish I could see you more, and not by lying to mom and dad about staying at Julie's. I wish they could just see how much you do for me, and love you no matter what for that. But, they're so close minded I can't even have my own guitar."

"I'm sorry," he whispers. "It's my fault."

She shakes her head. "That's not what I'm trying to say, it's not your fault."

"I should've just kept my secret between you and I."

"No!" She jumps up, scaring him. "That's the point, you took a risk, and I admire you for that. Do you know how many times a day I wish I can scream at them that I want to be an actor, and be in the music program at school? But, I can't because I'm scared, but then I see you with your band and how happy you are. And, I'm not happy!" I pause. "There's so many things I've been hiding from people, because I don't want to hurt them, and I'm scared of the outcome. But, if I live in fear, what kind of life will I be living?"

Alex eyes meet her with an unreadable glint. "God dammit, I hate it when you're right."

"What?" Y/N asks confused.

"Y/N, I am afraid of everything. But, mostly I'm afraid to see you grow up, and make your own decisions."

"Alex..." She sits back down. "I love you, and I get it, it's your job as a big brother to protect me, but I'm a tough girl, yes I have my own problems but when I'm with you, and your friends, and Julie those little things usually disappear. Because you guys make me feel more loved than anyone else." She hugs his side, him hugging back tightly.  

"You're growing up too fast," he utters.

She lets out a hearty laugh. "I learn from the best."

He shakes his head. "And if you want to date Luke, I won't stop you."

"What?!" Y/N exclaims, pulling away. "Date Luke?!" She gapes at him. "W-Why would you think...?"

Alex places a hand on hers. "It's obvious."

She rolls her eyes. "Yeah, there was that one time when we held hands and--"

Alex covers his ears. "Lalalala!" he sings. "I'll try to not be seriously weirded out by you two but please. I don't give a damn about the way you two touch when you're alone."

Y/N's face turns a bright red. "Noted."

They laugh at each other's uncomfortable glances. "Well." She raises an eyebrow at him. "There's now nothing stopping you."

She smiles widely, running off inside.

Alex lingers outside for a moment. He stares at the sky. "Wish me luck."

Word Count: 1522

[chocojjk]

Hyunjin’s Playlist

summary: college student! hyunjin x college! student reader; strangers to lovers?

words: 5.2k

a/n: Hi, I meant to upload this a lot earlier however I was met with tons of writers block along the way. I wrote this without having an actual plot prepared lmao. But anyways, its done so I hope someone enjoys reading this :)

all songs used are songs that hyunjin has played on vlive but please keep in mind that the way the songs are portrayed are based off of my own interpretations. i am in no way speaking for hyunjin :) 

one.

we are often attracted to instruments that mirror our own identity. we find comfort in knowing that we aren’t alone, that somewhere out there, someone is feeling the same exact way. they say a person can tell a lot about another based on their playlist. songs become a portrayal of one’s feelings and experiences. through someone’s music, you can tell what kind of person they are.

“Let me see your playlist.”

“What?” the boy responded, curious as to why you chose that as your conversation starter. nonetheless, he unlocks his phone and opens his spotify app, showing you the songs that have definitely left a mark on his heart. 

Places We Won’t Walk - Bruno Major 

A blissful song with a hint of sadness. The boy in front of you treasures the small things in life, yet is saddened by the things that he cannot reach. 

When The Party’s Over - Billie Eilish 

He’s put up a wall. He’s not easily understood. He’s aware that he can hurt others so he has made himself believe that he’d rather be alone. That he’s better off alone. 

Instagram - Dean

He’s lonely. He often compares himself to those around him, wondering why he isn’t living the same luxurious life with all the same cheerful smiles that he sees on his feed. 

Please Love Me - Colde

He wants to be loved. “I like you,” you smiled, handing him back his phone, taking the seat next to him. 

-

“The weirdest thing happened to me today.”

Hyunjin started telling his friends about the girl he encountered on his first day of university. It’s been hours since it happened yet he couldn’t shake it out of his head.

“That’s it? She just asked to see your playlist?” Jisung exclaims, one eyebrow going up and a pout making its way on his face as he wore the same confused expression Hyunjin sported earlier that day. Hyunjin nods, answering the question that his friend had laid out for him. 

“Hmm, that is weird,” Felix agreed

“Maybe she’s actually a psychology major and it’s a project?” Seungmin suggested, trying to find the answers to the situation that has left them all clueless. 

“Orrr, maybe...just maybe...she thought you were cute?” Jeongin chuckled sarcastically

“But that’s literally all she said to me, she didn’t look at me after that anymore...when the class was over, she was gone without saying goodbye… s-she didn���t even tell me her name!” Hyunjin whines, sinking into his chair. 

“Why don’t you just ask her when you see her again?” their youngest retorts, tired of how his older friends were always overanalyzing things that don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.

You frustrated the boy. The way you didn’t even know his name yet somehow you came to the conclusion that you liked him. The way that you spoke exactly 8 words to him but made it seem like you know every story he has to tell. You made him feel vulnerable and he did not like that. 

Not one bit. 

-

“What's your name?” Hyunjin plops his backpack down as he takes the seat next to yours, the same ones as last week. 

“Why does that matter?” you ask, clearly teasing the boy. 

Hyunjin plasters on the fakest smile he could muster up, not really having the patience for your mind games, “well, if you’re gonna continue to sit next to me then the least you could do is tell me your name.”

You bite back a smile, his music gave too much of him away. He was good at hiding his feelings though which is something you’ll give him credit for later on. Honestly, if you weren’t paying attention, you might have missed the sour expression that was laced within the boy's tone of voice nor would you have noticed how he’s trying to show you that he’s unbothered by your words. 

Unluckily for the boy, your attention was focused solely on him. And so, you push his buttons some more, “technically, you were the one that sat next to me.”

Hyunjin stares at you, trying to read what was going on in your mind but all he could feel was the annoyance that was seeping through his body. 

God, you were annoying. 

“Slowly, hair will turn to gray,” you mumbled, a smirk forming its way on your lips. “What?” Hyunjin replied, a word he seems to be saying a lot ever since he met you. “If you keep thinking so hard, your hair might  turn to gray soon,” you joked yet it was clear to the both of you that it was only funny to you, the boy not catching on to the fact that you were phrasing a lyric from one of his songs.

“...my name is y/n,” you say, finally deciding to give the boy a break. 

“Alright class, I want to talk about your partner project, please find someone in the classroom to work with. This will be done throughout the semester and will be 30% of your overall grade so take it seriously,” the Professor informed, capturing both yours and Hyunjins attention.

“This project will be simple - it’s all about observing. Since this is a PSYCH class, I want you and your partner to pick 3 spots and just simply observe the people around you. For example, if you are at the cafe, what could the person in the corner with her eyebrows furrowed be wondering? Is she studying for an exam? Is she worried about a friend? There are tons of possibilities but I want you and your partner to jot down what you see and explain what you have observed.”

“That’s all for today, I’ll release you guys early so you can all have a head start,” she explained. 

You turn to the boy at your side, “so…you want to be partners?” 

-

Hyunjin doesn’t really know why he said yes, seeming he wasn’t comfortable with your presence at all. He convinces himself that he just didn’t want to go through the extra hassle of finding a partner when you were already available. Besides he could honestly care less, the only reason why he’s taking this class was for the extra units. After all, he was a music major. 

“How about here?” you suggested the grassy area in the middle of the campus. This part of the school was peaceful however it wasn’t quiet. Laughter and chatter from all the different kinds of groups filled up the morning air while the birds chirped along and occasionally, a squirrel or two would cause a bit of a ruckus. 

“We could grab some food and just sit down on the grass,” but the puzzled expression on the boy's face lead you to assume that he didn’t quite like the idea, “just so we would blend in more,” you added, hoping that it would be enough for the boy to say yes. 

“We don’t need to get food. We can just sit here and pretend we're talking, a lot of people around here are doing just that.” He was right. All you could do was nod and let out a sigh as the two of you sat next to each other, observing the scene ahead. You were hoping you could grab a quick bite during this since you still had classes for the rest of the day but that obviously wasn’t the case so you chose to just cover up your rumbling stomach with a cough or two here and there. 

“What do you think about him?” Hyunjin pointed at the boy that was sitting on the bench, flowers in his hand as he types away on his phone. 

“Hmm, I noticed his smile first, he’s practically beaming. He’s probably going to surprise his significant other. His legs bouncing up and down from excitement,” you chuckle, finding the anonymous boys’ action cute, “he’s probably texting them right now so they could meet up,” you concluded. You turn to Hyunjin, noticing his eyes slightly widen at your response. “What do you think?” you ask, slightly nudging him out of his trance.

“well... I think you’re right that he’s waiting for someone. But for me, he’s probably gonna confess to that person...uhmm, his ears are pink so he’s nervous… probably afraid of rejection. Because of this he’s probably texting a friend for advice,” he observed.

His answer didn’t surprise you, after all, you’ve already seen some of the deepest parts of him - even if he was unaware. On the other hand, he was in awe. Your guys’ answers were so different from the other. The way you viewed the scene ahead as something positive while his was more on the negative side. This sparked interest in him. But he breaks out of his thoughts as he hears your failed attempt to hide your growling stomach for the umpteenth time. 

He stands to his feet, grabbing you along with him. “Uhm, where are we going?”

He doesn’t say a word. He just grabs your hand and drags you along until you’ve arrived at the university’s main food court. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed your stomach rumbling for the past twenty minutes,” he teases as you try to hide the blush that was making its way upon your cheeks. Now you were left speechless, nothing in the boy’s music has suggested that he had this sweet side to him. The side that would easily let someone in. 

“I think we got off on the wrong foot,” you admitted as Hyunjin handed you the sandwich he had ordered, one for you and one for him. 

“What do you mean?”

“I’m sorry that I came off strong on the first day,” you apologized, aware of the way that you’ve been pushing his buttons and leaving him uncomfortable. 

“Why did you ask for my playlist?” He was finally going to get an answer to the event that has left him stunned for the past week. 

“It’s just a thing I do,” you confess nonchalantly, “I check to see if  we have similar taste in music and from there, I come to a conclusion on whether or not you’re cool enough for me to talk to,” you lied. You weren’t going to admit to him that the reason you do it was to analyze him. I mean, what kind of person assumes a person’s whole character through their songs, right? 

He wouldn’t understand. 

Honestly, you don’t even really understand yourself why you do it. Maybe because you liked having the upper hand - that way, no one can hurt you. 

Hyunjin lets out a laugh and you feel a little guilty. “So, if my songs were bad, you wouldn’t talk to me?” he chuckles. 

“Yeah, no… not in a million years,” you joked, laughing along with him. 

“So what would be a bad song to you?” he questions, a small smile playing on his lips. 

“I don't know, uhh-despacito?” you snicker

Honestly, there were no such things as bad songs. When it comes to songs, everyone is entitled to their own opinions but you had to play along with the little lie that you’ve already started.

“Hey! I like that song!” Hyunjin retorts, playfully throwing a crumpled up tissue paper along your direction, the two of you sharing a laugh as the small guilt you felt a while ago diminishes. It’s not like it’s going to hurt him anyways. You only see each other once a week and it was for class. Otherwise, you never see the brown haired boy on campus. You didn’t even know of his existence until you startled him with your question. 

The only reason he became your target was because the only empty seat was the one next to him. 

two. 

Second location. A frat party at the famous 3RACHA unit, who you’ve learned were good friends of Hyunjin. It was Hyunjin’s idea, convincing you that you guys will probably get a higher grade if you’ve incorporated various kinds of scenes. Plus, it was his first frat party and he didn’t want to miss it. You on the other hand was dreading this night ever since he brought it up in class last week. Parties weren’t your thing, you would much rather stay at home binging netflix shows, reading fanfictions, or watching compilations of your favorite kpop idols. But here you are now, rummaging the kitchen for something that didn’t contain alcohol as you’ve given up searching for the boy himself.  

“y/n!, heyy,” Hyunjin stumbles in, a red solo cup in his hand. 

“There you are, I’ve been looking everywhere for you! Can we please get this over with so I can leave,” you huffed, annoyed at the boy in front of you and the situation that you’ve found yourself in. 

“No.” He pouts before letting out a laugh, his eyes turning into little moons. 

“No? What do you mean, no?”

“Let’s have some fun first!” he beamed, dragging your hand out of the kitchen and into the party, ignoring your many protests. “Hyunjin, I didn’t come here for fun!” you sigh, arms crossing as you finally put a halt to the boys actions. 

“C’mon y/n, loosen up a little bit… you’re in the first party of the most popular frat in town, enjoy it while you can.” This time he holds his hand out, though his eyes had a tinge of red from the alcohol that was playing in his system, the sincerity in them couldn’t be missed. 

And so you do.

 You take his hand in yours as he shoots you one of his signature smiles. You party the night away with the boy at your side. He introduced you to a handful of new people but you forgot their names as soon as it came out of their mouths. 

-

You had way too much to drink but somehow you find yourself stumbling towards the park nearby, the boy's hand still in yours as he shares the story of how his best friend Jisung got chased by a duck and you couldn’t help but let out a boisterous laugh. Nothing about your laugh was pretty and if you weren’t so drunk, the embarrassment would’ve probably creeped up by now but you didn’t care. You couldn’t care - not when Hyunjins laugh would mix in with yours and you guys would have to literally cling to each other for strength. 

“Tag, you’re it!” he breaks you out of your thoughts as he starts running away, his laughter still ringing in the air as you chase him. After a while, you give up, you were in no way, shape, or form, fast enough to catch the boy - especially with all the liquor bouncing around your stomach. 

You sit down on the grass, catching your breath, your laughter dying down as your back hits the grass, eyes focusing on the twinkling orbs above. A few seconds later, warmth fills up beside you, Hyunjin taking his place next to you, mirroring your actions. 

“We never observed a person,” you say chuckling, breaking the silence that quickly hung over the two of you. 

“Sorry,” he smiles sheepishly, turning to you. Hyunjin takes this time to fully take in your appearance. No doubt in his mind, you are one of the most beautiful girls he’s ever seen. 

“Why don’t we, umm -,” he pauses, wondering to himself if this was going to be a good idea for him. 

“Why don’t we, what?” you reply quickly, curiosity getting the best of you as you turn to your side coming face to face with the boy himself. Your guys’ face were millimeters apart and the sudden feeling of his breathing being so close to you felt intoxicating. You dart your eyes down to his lips, thinking what it was like to feel them upon yours. 

Hyunjin lets out an awkward cough, breaking the tension in the air as he stares back up at the stars. “Why don’t we observe each other?” he suggests after his heartbeat finally calmed down. 

“Oh uhmm, o-okay,” you say, your voice faltering, pushing back your desire to kiss him. “You first,” you whisper, keeping your eyes locked into his features. 

“uhh, I think you’re wondering what the hell you’re doing with a boy you barely know at 3 in the morning. You don’t want me to notice that you’re actually really pissed at me for dragging you into this party and not getting any of our work done,”

The boy takes a pause as soon as he hears you giggle ‘hyunjin, you are so wrong,’ you think to yourself. 

“You’re the type to always get your shit done and you’ve probably already figured out everything you want in your life ever since you learned how to walk. You… you shouldn’t be wasting your time with someone like me,” he muttered, slowly turning to face you, this time a sad smile placed upon his lips. You sympathize with him, feeling sad with the way that he viewed himself. 

“Okay, uhm…you're anxious right now because you don’t know how i’ll react to your confessions. You’re the type of boy who doesn’t want to let anyone in but at the same time wants to know how it feels to be loved,” you sigh, the guilt you were feeling creeping in once again, slowly eating you up. Hyunjin grew tense under your observations. He hated how easily it is for you to read him when he thought that he was doing a decent job at keeping up with his facade. 

“You don’t notice the way others look at you because you’re too busy nitpicking your flaws. You didn’t notice how you were literally the life of the party back there. You didn’t notice the amount of girls practically begging for your attention…” you hesitate saying the last thing in your mind but as soon as you turned to him and saw the way he was looking at you, you couldn’t help but let the words stumble out of your mouth, “you don’t notice how much I want to kiss you right now,” and with those words out in the open, he brings his hands up to your cheek, slowly placing a light kiss upon your rosy lips and you swear you’ve never tasted anything better. It was a quick kiss, leaving as soon as it came, but the mix of his cherry chapstick and the alcohol created a combination that left you wanting more. Leaning up, you kiss him again, his mouth moving perfectly in sync with yours, deepening the kiss that you find yourself getting more and more addicted to with every second that passes. 

Hyunjin pulls away first, his thoughts finally all coming together as the alcohol was starting to slowly leave his system. He looks at you, the fear evident in his eyes. He fucked up and he knows it. He shouldn’t have kissed you. You guys were friends and frankly, he liked your company. He can never be that guy who starts a relationship with someone. He was sure that he was incapable of love and could never give you what you wanted. You knew this, of course. You knew this from day one. 

“I’m no good for you,” he sighed, mumbling several apologies for the actions that he took. And you realize how truly scared he was. That the tough image he’s keeping up isn’t because he had to but because he truly believed that it was the right thing to do. 

“That’s okay Hyunjin, we can blame it on the alcohol,” you wished you didn’t have to but you knew yourself that you couldn’t let this get deeper than what it was now.

Hyunjin walks you back to your dorm room, making sure you were safe inside before he headed back to his own place. 

-quiet when I’m coming home, i’m all alone. 

three. 

Hyunjin saw too many relationships around him fail, starting from his own parents. For him, love was merely an illusion. A desire that people get caught up with not because they are in love but because they lust the idea of love. The idea of having someone there to hold, to laugh with, to share stories with - it was all bullshit to him because at the end of the story, someone always leaves. Someone always says goodbye. It wasn’t worth it. 

Not for him. 

But sometimes he’ll see a picture on instagram and wonder to himself, could those smiles be permanent? 

“Are you just gonna keep stalking her social media or are you gonna actually talk to her?” Jeongin breaks the boy out of his thoughts. 

“I’m not stalking her!” Hyunjin replies defensively, hiding the pink that was creeping upon his cheeks. 

“I’ve literally been here for the past 3 mins just looking at you scroll through her feed and you didn’t even notice,” the younger boy points out, teasing him. Ever since the night at the park, Hyunjin couldn’t bring himself to talk to you. He knew that the both of you agreed to just forget it but could he really forget something like that? You made him feel what he was scared of the most. You made him feel like he wanted to fall in love. The memory of your lips against his keeps him up at night, your laughter ringing in his ear while the warmth from your fingertips makes him feel like he’s completely losing it. 

How can he still feel you when you were nowhere near him? 

How did you get past his wall so quickly? 

And why, fuck, why does he want you in it? 

-

You, on the other hand, haven't made any effort to reach out either. He was right about you. You were a know-it-all. Ever since you were younger you knew that you wanted to help the people around you. You enjoyed listening to others’, letting them know that they are never alone and that they could always turn to you for advice or simply just if they needed someone to listen to them. You liked the idea of being someone’s safe haven - that’s why you want to be a psychologist. 

But this - the way the boy made you feel, the way he cluttered your every waking thought - this was something you didn’t plan. This was something you didn’t have the answers to. Grabbing your phone, you finally gain the courage to send the boy a text 

Hey, we still have one scenario left, any ideas? - y/n

Hyunjin reads the text, his heart suddenly doing somersaults in the air. ‘Hyunjin, stop.’ he warns himself. He knows that he wasn’t ready to see you and so he ignored it. Grabbing his backpack he shouts a quick, “I'm gonna go practice,” before heading out to the dance rooms to try and clear his head. 

-

umm, what do you think about going to the diner across town? - y/n 

You did it. You double texted. After several hours, the boy still hasn’t responded to your text so you decided to take manners in your own hands. But as soon as you pressed send, you felt pathetic. He’s most likely just busy and that’s why he hasn’t replied but you like to make yourself believe that you had more of an effect on him. 

You were about to scream into your pillow, feeling frustrated at the situation until your phone let out a small ding, indicating that you’ve received a new message. 

sure - hyunjin 

how does tomorrow at 6pm sound ? - y/n 

good - hyunjin

These one word answers were killing you. For someone who usually knows and can assume what’s about to happen beforehand, you were left clueless and that annoyed you.  

-

“Hey, am i late?” hyunjin takes the seat across from you. no, he wasn’t late. you just arrived way earlier than the time planned hoping to calm your nerves before having to face the boy who has settled himself into your mind. 

“What do you think of that girl over there?” you point at the girl who was sitting, laughing along with her group of friends.

“geez y/n, can’t we order something to eat first,” hyunjin jokes. He barely got there and you were already on top of it. typical, he thinks to himself. You let out a small smile, happy at the fact that the boy was teasing you. Honestly, you were afraid that his responses were going to be as bland as his text messages and it has been killing your thoughts the whole night. 

“ok ok,, my bad… let’s order first,” when your food arrived, you fell into a comfortable conversation. like the thoughts that the both of you have been struggling with never existed. but in the middle of the conversation, something clicked within you. 

You can‘t read him anymore and that scared you. 

“honestly i think this whole project is stupid,” hyunjin blurts out, capturing your attention. 

“hmm, why do you say that?”

“i just find it absolutely ridiculous to just judge someone based on one scenario, you know? like i bet all our guesses have been wrong so far,” he confesses and once again the guilt rushes to your heart and you were left speechless. 

“Like I really hate it when people judge others without getting to know them like who do you think you are? Do people who do that actually think they’re better or mightier?” Hyunjin continues and suddenly the space around you feels tight, your lungs struggling to find air. You were the type of person that Hyunjin would hate and that leaves an unsettling feeling in your stomach. 

Hyunjin notices this after a while of you not responding to him and just picking at your food. “y/n, you okay?” he says, eyes filled with worry and you can't help but let out a tear, quickly brushing it off as soon as it hit your cheek. You don’t deserve the way he’s looking at you like he would fight anyone that comes to hurt you. 

“Hyunjin...i’m sorry,” you let out quietly as you tried to stop the rest of your tears from water falling. Grabbing your bag, you ran out of the diner, leaving a very confused Hyunjin behind to wonder what you were apologizing for. 

four.

7 missed calls 

you don’t dare try to answer any of it. 

the thought of having to face the boy and explain the reasons for your apology hurts you knowing that he wouldn’t want anything to do with you afterwards. how do you even explain it to him? there is literally no plausible excuse: 

“hey yeah i’m the jerk that you hate because i judged your whole personality based off of five songs,”

“i only did it because i like superiority”

“it also helps me feel better about myself”

yeah. he’ll definitely hate you afterwards. and so you sulk in your room, letting out your frustrated cries, your blanket comforting you as the sound of your phone ringing filled the air. after the 12th call, the ringing finally stops and you feel like you can finally think until a knock on your dorm room brings you back to reality. 

“hey,” he sighs, your eyes immediately widening as you shut the door as quickly as you opened it. 

“y/n, come on!” hyunjin whines

“how did you know this was my room?” you yell through the door. 

“I asked around,” he shouts back “now can you let me in??”

You were frozen in place, hands gripped on your doorknob to make sure that he can’t come in. “Look, we don’t have to talk about what happened okay,” he starts, “but we do have a project due in 2 days and i would like to finish it...so please just ….. just let me in.” He finishes, an exasperated sigh leaving his mouth once he comes face to face with the girl that has always been a puzzle to him. 

Entering your dorm room, you notice that the boy's hair is a bit disheveled and you wonder how many times he has let his hands run through them due to frustration. He’s doing his best to hide his furrowed eyebrows and keep a calm expression but you see through all of it. 

you’re doing it again. you think to yourself.  

“okay let’s just make up a scenario since we didn’t get one at the diner,” you suggest, finally breaking the silence that hung above the two of you. 

“why did you apologize?” hyunjin quietly asks, his gaze fixed strongly on you and you find yourself having to sit down due to the impact of his stare. 

“hyunjin…. you said we didn’t have to talk about it,” you responded, trying to change the subject. 

“I lied. I need to know the answers y/n. I need to know why you seem to see through my walls. I need to know how you dug a hole in my mind and stayed in it because I want you out. I don’t know what I’m feeling when it comes to you and I don’t like it.”

“How??? How can you see right through me?!”He frustratedly confesses, his voice getting louder with every question that leaves his mouth. 

“What?? are you a stalker??? Is that why you know?? have you been following me around ??”

“No!” you responded quickly, shutting down the assumptions that the boy has managed to come up with. 

“It’s your music.” you finally confess, your heart tightening as the words left your mouth, afraid of what’s to come next. 

Hyunjin stares at you, his mind finally connecting all the dots. The reason you asked for his playlist. The reason why you knew his stories and insecurities. All of it was because he gave you access to his music. And suddenly he felt bare. All his hiding, all the walls he put up, it was all useless when it came to you. 

“The last song in that playlist…” he starts but you finish the sentence for him, “please love me by colde,” your glassy eyes staring back up at him. 

“so, will you?” hyunjin asked, worry laced within his voice. 

“y-you’re not mad at me?” you stuttered, the boy's actions leaving your mind in a maze. he shakes his head. oddly enough, he didn’t feel any anger towards you. noticing that you were left in your thoughts to make sense of the situation at hand, he offers you a soft smile, “after knowing how troubled my mind was, you still stayed.”  

“i think i already do…” you confess, eyes fixated on him, “love you, that is,” you say mirroring the small smile that was on the boy’s face. 

At your confession, Hyunjin let’s out a shaky breath. 

“will you let me love you?” you ask him, a gentle tone laced within your voice, afraid of the answer to come. 

your eyes never breaking contact with his, you moved closer to him. hyunjins eyes darts down to your lips and suddenly the answer seemed so clear. 

love. 

the word that terrifies him the most. the thing that the boy has been swearing off ever since he was little. love was something hyunjin never understood but every time he looks at your eyes, every time he feels your warmth next to him, and now as your lips move in perfect sync with his, it all seems to make sense.

(a/n): this ending is so rushed and im not sure if im entirely happy with it but i really did not know what to do for the longest time. i was thinking of just scrapping the whole thing tbh but anyways....

feedback is always welcomed and my ask is always open :) 

thank you for reading! 

[wiccanz]

Lightweight

Summary: Y/N Stark, surprisingly, has never gotten drunk in her entire life. After Sam makes a comment making fun of her for it, her pettiness gets the best of her, leading her to drag Peter into her quest to drink and possibly get drunk. Chaos ensues, and feelings spill out. Warnings: underage drinking (pls be responsible), swearing Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!Reader A/N: I’M BAAACKKK!!!! i think this one’s fun,,, there’s only brief mentions of tony but still it’s stark reader lmfaosjskdhs anyways, i hope u guys enjoy this!! also my requests are open pls my inbox is dry af

“So you’re telling me, THE Y/N Stark, daughter of Tony Stark, has never even had a drink? Not even a sip?” Sam chuckles. “Shut up” You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms. Steve tries to hide his smirk, not wanting to seem like he’s an irresponsible adult encouraging you to drink. “Stop it, Sam. she’s not 21 yet, it’s okay. In fact, it’s better than okay” he shrugs.

You stick your tongue out at Sam, making him roll his eyes. “I would try it, but I’m afraid of my dad. That man has eyes on me everywhere. I can’t seem to get rid of it!” you groan. “Don’t even think about trying it. Don’t forget we ALL have eyes on you” Steve points at you. You nod, glancing at Sam, who was trying to hold back his laughter.

Despite of Steve’s warnings, you still were up for the challenge. All those times you tried to even approach the bar at one of your dad’s parties was like you approaching a bomb, with some Avenger or Happy dragging you away in a heartbeat. Sam’s teasing just made you even more eager, desperate to shake off that sheltered-rich-kid-who-hasn’t-done-wild-shit-normal-teenagers-do image people seem to have of you.

Needless to say, Peter was the first person on your mind as soon as you thought of your plan. Disable all cameras by your dad’s alcohol cabinet, sneak into the old common room, which has become you and Peter’s hideout, and get drunk there. 

“So, what do you say?” you excitedly grinned at Peter, who stared back at you with wide eyes. “Are you serious?” he furrows his eyebrows. “Your dad is going to kill me. Then you. I am not getting drunk with you Y/N. We’re not legal yet” he sighs. You frowned, taking his hand and holding it between both of yours. “Come on, Pete. it can just be me. I just wanna try it. Please?” you pleaded. 

Peter shook his head, letting out a deep sigh as he closed his eyes shut. “Fine. but can we please not get caught? I’ll just be there to make sure you don’t do anything stupid.” he leaned closer. You nod, pulling him into a hug. “If we get caught you can always swing me out of here” you joke, making him chuckle as he pulls away. 

“So, when are you planning this whole thing?” he quirks an eyebrow. You look down at your watch before looking back up to face him, a cheeky grin on your face. “Right now” you shrugged.

You took Peter’s hand, leading him to your dad’s alcohol cabinet. “Are you sure you disabled all of the cameras? Like all of them?” he asks, nervous as you opened it, grabbing 6 bottles of beer. “I replaced it with the footage of us building a LEGO imperial star destroyer from last week. We did that thing all night, he won’t suspect a thing” you explain, giving Peter three bottles before taking the other three. 

As you two step out of the elevator and into the old common room, you set the bottles down on the floor by your bean bags, both of you sitting down right across from each other. “How much are you supposed to drink before you get drunk anyways?” Peter asks. “I don’t know” you reply, cracking open the first bottle.

Before you could even take your first sip, Peter stops you. “What do you mean you don’t know? I don’t think this is a good idea” he hesitates, trying to get ahold of your bottle, but you move it away from him. “You’re not gonna drink, Pete” you say, finally taking your first sip.

“This is….bitter,” you gulp, taking a look at the bottle. “I think I like it” you say, continuing to drink it. Peter just sighs as he watches, standing up to grab a can of soda and a bottle of water from the mini fridge. When he returns, you’re already chugging it. “Slow down, drink some water.” he says as he sat back down, handing you the bottle of water.

You remain silent, opening your second bottle. “I said slow down, you cannot get drunk” he scolds you. “Isn’t that why I’m drinking?” you cock your head to the side. “No. maybe you’ll get tipsy, but that’s it. I can’t let you get drunk, Y/N” he replies.

But 6 bottles later, you’re already breaking into song and dance in the middle of having a conversation with Peter about whether he should change the color of his suit or not, what university the two of you plan to go to in the future, and other things that can be either really dumb or really deep.

Peter isn’t bothered by your interruptions, finding it amusing and adorable, absolutely forgetting that he needs to keep you in check. “Let’s play truth or dare” you blurt out, making Peter quirk an eyebrow at you. “You hate that game” he replies, making you pout. “Nah” you shrug.

“Okay. You first. Truth or dare?” he starts. “Truth” you choose, making Peter think of a question for a few seconds. “Alright. Do you like someone?” he asks, making you groan. “C’mon, Peter, that’s something a 12 year old would ask me” you pout. “But yeah, Iike someone” you add, making Peter’s face light up.

“Really? Ok, then skip me first. I dare you to tell me who you like” he insists. You nod, moving next to him to lean closer to whisper to his ear. 

“I like Spiderman” you whisper, making his eyes go wide. “W-what?” he stammers. “Shhh, if you tell him I’ll kill you” you sigh, resting your head on his shoulder. 

“I’m Spiderman, Y/N. I like you too---” Peter’s voice fades off as he realized you were already fast asleep, making him smile to himself. He sighs before scooping you up and carrying you bridal style to the couch nearby. “Goodnight then” he quietly scoffs as he pulls a blanket over you.

[ephemeral-afterlight]

Day 10: Unconscious

(We’ll lie, we’ll die.)

Whumptober 2019 Day 10: Unconscious

Word Count: 2065

Relationships: none

Warnings: Not unsympathetic Virgil but he is kinda an asshole in this, misunderstandings, physical violence, injury (head wound), cursing, implied neurodivergent/autistic Deceit (and mislabeling stimming as anxiety)

A/N: virgil having repercussions for his actions? i love this song! 

anyway, i’m sorry i’m late every day. i’m trying my best, but i’m having to write these in about an hour or so’s time, and it’s really difficult when the prompts are longer than 1k.

“What the hell are you doing?”

Virgil’s voice obviously comes as a shock to Deceit, of whom spins around from where he’s standing at the kitchen counter and hides his hands behind himself. Even as Deceit looks surprised, and a bit weary, there’s a gleam of childish excitement, and Virgil doesn’t like the look of it a single bit. The snake-like side shifts his weight between both of his feet nervously, rocks back and forth as he shyly glances up at him with bright eyes, and Virgil has a bad feeling about this.

“O-Oh, I was, uh-- I--” Deceit stammers, refusing to make eye contact, and Virgil narrows his eyes suspiciously. What the hell is he planning this time? Back when he still lived with them, Remus and Deceit played pranks all the time, and Virgil can still distinctly remember the feeling of putting his foot in his sock and it immediately being submerged in tomato sauce. Disgusting, and juvenile, and Remus hasn’t stopped calling him Spaghetti Sock since. Isn’t he creativity? Couldn’t he be a little more… you know… creative?

“Wait, are those cupcakes? What the hell do you think you’re doing messing with Patton’s stuff?” Virgil snaps when Deceit moves a bit too far to the right, exposing the tray of cakes decorated with patterns and colours to match each of the four light sides, including himself. There are light blue ones, undoubtedly Patton’s, which he decorated with hearts and outlines of cat heads. There are red ones, for Roman, which have music notes and stars. There are ones that are obviously Logan’s in dark blue, with stripes and mathematical symbols. And then there are Virgil’s, purple swirls and bats and spiders that must have terrified Patton to draw. 

Deceit looks like a deer caught in headlights, and his hand flutters at his side, quickly patting the side of his thigh over and over again. He’s obviously anxious, which is a dead giveaway that he’s up to no good. Virgil doesn’t know what the hell he’s trying to do. Is he messing up the designs? Eating them himself? Throwing them away? Virgil doesn’t think Deceit is that evil or malicious, but… what if he’s trying to poison them? What if he’s using Patton’s hard work to get back at them?

“Patton’s… stuff?” Deceit questions slowly, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and the purple cupcake he’s holding in his hand is lowered. He glances down at it, turns to look at the tray for a moment, then meets Virgil’s glare with an odd gaze of his own. “But that’s not--”

“What’s going on down here? I’m trying to get my beauty sleep, hello!” Roman’s voice booms as he walks into the kitchen to stand in front of the dining table and rub at his eyes groggily. Logan follows behind, wearing plain pajama pants and a t-shirt as a contrasting juxtaposition to Roman’s boldly patterned matching set. He doesn’t say anything, just leans against the counter and crosses his arms, and his sleepy eyes are dark and neutral where they bore into Deceit.

“Deceit’s messing with Patton’s cupcakes. He won’t tell me what he’s doing,” Virgil growls in response, twisting his jacket sleeves in either hand restlessly. Deceit just looks down at his shoes, and taps on his leg faster, and Virgil wishes he’d just stop.

“What?! You fiend! How could you deface these sweet treats?” Roman asks as he pulls out his sword from seemingly nowhere, too offended to notice Deceit shrink back in what appears to be fear. What, he can pick a fight, but he runs away as soon as he’s confronted? Coward.

“That’s not--”

“Oh, quit lying, Deceit. Just own up so I can go to bed,” Virgil blusters, raises a lip in distaste when Deceit has the nerve to look upset. He’s the one who came into their home, messed with their stuff, and of course he’s gonna make himself the victim somehow. Fucking typical.

“Virgil,” Logan snaps from beside him, and Virgil whips his head to him in surprise. Is he seriously getting in trouble for this? For Deceit trying to hurt them? He’s just trying to protect them from a lying, evil snake, and Logan’s mad at him? “You are being unnecessarily harsh. Did you even see him do anything to the cupcakes? How do you know his intentions? Did you ask him, and did you allow him to speak? No matter if you like Deceit or not, you cannot accuse him of tampering and then refuse to even allow him the chance to explain himself or clear up any potential misunderstandings. He has the right to a fair trial.”

And despite Logan of course making it into literal due process, Virgil still listens. Maybe… maybe Logan’s right. He’s been stressed out all day, and he’s exhausted from the panic attack he had a few hours ago, so… maybe he’s bringing that negativity with him. He’s… what did Dr. Picani call it? Projecting. He’s projecting his frustration onto Deceit. He just needs to calm down and try to see a different perspective. Right.

“They’re Patton’s cupcakes. I didn’t make them. I was making them look worse. They taste like shit now. I hope you hate them,” Deceit rushes out, and his eyebrows furrow immediately. He looks frustrated, and confused, and a little bit panicked, and Virgil doesn’t see any of it. Instead, he sees Patton’s dejected face when he realizes that Deceit ruined the cupcakes he made for them, the way he’ll be so sad that Deceit can’t be good, that he’s nothing more than a snake. He’s angry. So angry. And Roman lets out an insulted “Hah?!”, shows the same emotion Virgil is feeling.

“What the fuck? Who the hell do you think you are?” Virgil snarls as Deceit sets the themed cupcake that was in his hand back into its place in the pan. His head buzzes like a swarm of wasps filled with ire, and he’s itching to do something he can’t pinpoint.

“Wait, no, he’s--” Logan starts, but a single indecipherable look from the snake-like side cuts his words off. The exchange is odd, and feels too familiar to be between the two, and Virgil doesn’t even care.

“I’m not gonna-- I’m gonna leave now,” Deceit chokes out, expression distressed and mouth wobbling, and Virgil’s so fucking mad. How dare he try to throw himself a pity party? Fake-crying, seriously? Who the hell believes that? And then Deceit is clutching at his cape with white knuckles, hunched over as he tries to sweep out of the kitchen, and-- no. He’s not just going to come in here, mess up their shit, and get away with it.

In a single motion, Virgil shoves Deceit forward, watches his panic and shock when he stumbles. He watches the fear flash through his eyes, the betrayal, the resignation, and Virgil falters too late.

Deceit’s head ricochets off the edge of the counter, smacking into the granite countertop with a loud thump. The others cringe in sympathy, wince when his iconic bowler hat is sent flying to the ground where it skids to a stop beside a chair. His body comes down with him, descends when his knees give out from the pain, and his limp arms fall to rest in front of him. He slowly pulls in on himself, and then relaxes completely with his body curled around the edge of the cabinet.

“Virgil! I may have had my own outbursts before, but I cannot condone unprompted violence!” Logan hisses, reprimands digging deep to unearth the tiny loose thread of guilt from the fray ripping into Virgil’s psyche. That… that was too much, even for him. What the hell? He’s-- he’s not supposed to be the bad guy! He’s been trying to be better, and at the first sign of provocation, he immediately becomes worse than the one he’s angry at? He stooped that low in a matter of moments?

“Come on, we all know we can’t get injured. Quit being dramatic,” Roman sighs as he puts his sword away. Even he glances at Virgil with the slightest hint of surprise, crosses his arms and shifts his attention to Deceit. He looks exasperated but empathetic, something that is far from mirrored on Virgil’s own face. “Deceit. Seriously. I know that wasn’t cool of Virgil, but there’s no point in dragging this out.”

And Deceit… doesn’t answer. He may be a liar, and a slippery snake, but he has nothing to gain from faking being hurt, so what is he doing? Is he trying to guilt-trip Virgil? Not that he… not that he doesn’t kinda deserve it, but it’s an… annoying way to go about making him apologize. Which he might not even do, if Deceit’s still being an asshole when he gets up. But then Logan is kneeling down beside Deceit, shaking his shoulder with an uncommon worry in his eyes, and suddenly this whole thing doesn’t feel as nonchalant as before. “Deceit. Deceit. Wake up. Deceit!”

He doesn’t wake up.

Then Logan rolls Deceit over, displays the blood coming from the cut on the snake-like side’s forehead, shows how his head rolls to the side without any resistance, and Virgil feels his heart leap into his throat. What the fuck. What the fuck. He didn’t-- He may have been mad, but he wasn’t trying to seriously hurt him! Why isn’t he getting up? They’re sides, for Christ’s sake, they can’t get injuries like that! They heal almost instantaneously!

“He’s-- he’s not waking up. I think-- maybe he can’t wave the wound away because he was knocked unconscious? But he still should have woken up by now. I don’t understand,” Logan mutters, talks in circles around himself with a rapid-fire pace. His thoughts are clearly hard at work, assessing all available information and possible outcomes, and Virgil’s hands are shaking. Why isn’t he waking up?

“Kiddos? Why is everyone awake so late? W-- What happened in here?!” Patton shrieks as soon as he sees the blood, and his hand shoots up to cover his mouth. He has to turn and lean on the kitchen door frame for support, uses the other hand to cradle his queasy stomach, and Virgil is simultaneously relieved and terrified.

“Deceit came in here and messed with the cupcakes you made, and then Virgil got mad and pushed him,” Roman informs plainly, hands clenched at his sides with the stress of not being able to do anything to help. Virgil is in the same boat himself. His fingers twist around each other, fidgety as he incredulously watches Logan attempt to wave away the wound and subsequently fail.

“But I didn’t make cupcakes,” Patton says worriedly, eyes perturbed as he seems to try to mentally extract information from the two still standing. Of course, he can’t read their minds, so he can only speculate himself, and that allows his brain to finally process Roman’s words. “Wait, Virgil pushed him? Virgil, that’s not okay!”

“But-- you didn’t make them? Then wh--” Virgil starts, but then his voice gets locked in his throat when he comes to the obvious realization. Fuck. Fuck! He… those were… why?! Why did he just stand there? Why didn’t he just say s--

Oh.

“This is what happens when you jump to conclusions, Virgil. I thought you’d moved past this type of childish behaviour, but clearly my expectations were too high. Deceit obviously made cupcakes for us, went to the trouble of decorating them with our preferred colours and themes, and you knocked him unconscious for it,” Logan says angrily. His words are charged, and they’re completely true. Virgil can’t-- he’s so stupid. He was so caught up in himself he didn’t even bother to look at the full picture. He knows what it’s like to be the outcast, knows what it’s like to try to fit in and appeal to people the only way he knows how, and yet he still… He demonized Deceit without even bothering to put himself in his shoes. He shouldn’t even need to, because he’s been there, and he still ruined what was obviously meant to be a thoughtful gift to make peace with them. He’s such an asshole.

“I hope you’re happy with your choice, Virgil,” Logan mumbles, and Patton is conflicted, and Roman can’t even look at him, and Virgil knows he’s seriously fucked up.

[inthedayswhenlandswerefew]

Baby You Were My Picket Fence [Chapter 4: Dream On]

You are a first grade teacher in sunny Los Angeles, California. Ben Hardy is the father of your most challenging student. Things quickly get complicated in this unconventional love story.  

Song inspiration: Miss Missing You by Fall Out Boy.

Chapter warnings: Language, menstruation, sexually suggestive language.

Link to chapter list (and all my writing) HERE

Taglist: @blushingwueen @queen-turtle-boiii @everybodyplaythegame @onceuponadetectivedemigod @luvborhap @sincereleygmg @stormtrprinstilettos @loveandbeloved29 @ohtheseboysilove @jennyggggrrr @vanitysfairr @bramblesforbreakfast @radiob-l-a-hblah @xox-talia-xox @killer-queen-xo @caborhapch @kimmietea @asquiresofftime @hardzzellos @sleepretreat @ramibaby @jonesyaddiction

Your iPhone vibrates on the coffee table, buzzing lazily in a circle between the beading glass of ice water and the bottle of extra-strength ibuprofen. You reach out from under the heap of blankets and pick it up. The display screen reads: Ben Hardy.

You answer with a weak voice: “Hello?”

“Hey. I just dropped Eli off at school and I heard him and the other kids cheering that they had a substitute.”

“Ugh, they were cheering?” Evil children.

“I wouldn’t take it personally. The sub looked about two hundred years old and had candy. What’s up? Are you sick?”

“Uh...yeah.” What you actually are is a tad anemic, riddled with cramps, and narrowly staving off a splitting headache; but sick is close enough. You’re wearing leggings and a far-too-large Van Halen t-shirt, your hair pulled away from your face. Good Morning America is on tv. The hosts are learning how to cook some kind of garlic salmon pasta which is positively nauseating.

“Can I come over?” Ben asks.

“What?” You panic, sitting up on the couch, peering around the living room. It’s littered with school papers, empty Cadbury chocolate wrappers, books, hastily kicked-off shoes, gossip magazines. There are opened packages of tampons and pads strewn across the kitchen counter. Oh this is bad. 

“I’m uncharacteristically free this morning. Are you contagious or something?”

“No, no, it’s not that,” you begin. “I’m not...uh...I’m just not very attractive at the moment.”

“That sounds unlikely.”

You titter nervously. “No, but actually, I’m a mess.”

“Okay, fine, I won’t come over.” There are a few beats of silence. “Can I please come over?”

“Oh my god, Mr. Hardy.”

“Ben.” He’s smiling; you can tell from his voice.

“Ben. Right. Ben, you are the worst.”

“You have no idea.” And now he sounds just a touch too serious. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s a...lady thing.”

“Ohhh,” he says. “Gotcha.”

“Yeah,” you respond awkwardly.

“I am zero percent disturbed by that, just so you’re aware.”

You sigh; you can feel your headache roaring back to life. “Okay Ben, you win, come over. But just be prepared, I’m super unappealing and boring and—”

“On my way.” He hangs up.

You stare at your phone, mystified. “You are a very strange person, Mr. Hardy,” you murmur. Then you text Sasha: Daddy demon is coming over????

She replies in two minutes. Whaaaaa why?!

And then: Kinky period sex?? I feel like demons would be into that.

NOOOO, you respond.

As you climb off the couch, down another ibuprofen, unlock the front door, and start to straighten up the worst of the clutter, your phone vibrates again. Sasha says: Wait this is so adorable he wants to take care of you, omfg this is cute af, I’m dead.

You roll your eyes and don’t reply; Sasha’s first class should have started by now anyway. You stow the tampons and pads under the bathroom sink, shove your shoes into the closet, and toss out all the trash you can get your hands on before the room starts spinning and you’re forced to retire back to the couch like some flimsy Victorian maiden. You drape your arm over your eyes and exhale dramatically. “Forsooth, I am a damsel in distress,” you whisper to yourself, smiling. Just a few moments later, there’s a knock at the door.

“Come in,” you call.

Ben enters, a little hesitantly, stepping lightly over the kitchen floor. “Hi,” he says as he leans against the living room doorframe. He’s dressed in black sweatpants and an ill-fitting striped hoodie; his hair is fluffy and chaotic.

“Are we...having a pajama party...?”

“Well,” he explains, “I figured you’d be in casual attire and I didn’t want to make you feel underdressed so I tried to out-casual you.”

“It worked, you look homeless.”

“You caught me. That’s why I wanted to come over. I have no house.”

“By all means, my couch is your couch.”

He flops down on the opposite end of the couch, then glances over at you. You’ve tucked your knees to your chest to give him space to sit. “Oh no, unacceptable.” He grabs your ankles and lays your feet across his lap. “You good?”

“Yeah,” you answer, smiling shyly.

Your phone buzzes on the coffee table and Ben grabs it before you can. “How is the kinky sex with daddy demon going?” he reads aloud, to your horror. “Wait, hold up, I’m daddy demon?!”

“Oh my goddddd.” You cover your face with your hands. This can’t be happening.

“Because my kid is baby demon.” He could be offended, he could be livid, but he’s not; he’s grinning so widely you can see the tiny points of his canine teeth.

“This is so unprofessional, please forget you saw that, I’m so sorry, this is why I’m not supposed to date parents.”

“Wow wow wow.” His eyes scan the text again. “Since we’re already being unprofessional, should we address the kinky sex bit...?”

“No,” you beg. “No, we definitely should not.”

“Okay.” He drops the subject instantly and passes you your phone, then points at the tv. “What are we watching?”

“Well, we were watching Good Morning America, but now we’re going to find something better.” You pluck the remote off the table and flip through a few channels. “WAIT, I know what we’re going to watch!”

“What?” he asks reticently, reading your crafty expression.

“Bohemian Rhapsody.”

“No,” he breathes, petrified. “No, I definitely cannot watch you watch my acting.”

“You’re pretty humble for a demon,” you tease, clicking buttons on your smart tv remote until you’ve brought up the movie on Google Play.

“Y/N,” he moans.

Then you say seriously: “If you really don’t want to watch it now, we don’t have to.”

“No,” he relents. “I’ll live, let’s do it. But don’t buy it, don’t spend your own money.”

“I want to buy it,” you insist. “I want to support your art.”

“Babe, your salary is public knowledge.” He called me babe, Ben Hardy called me babe.

You click madly before he can stop you. “I want to support your art!”

He tries to wrestle the remote from your grasp. “For fucks sake, I have a digital copy, just let me sign in—!”

“Ow!” you cry, clutching your lower abdomen. Ben immediately backs away, retreating to his half of the couch.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, did I hurt you, are you okay...?”

You laugh triumphantly and purchase Bohemian Rhapsody. As it loads, you grin at Ben. “Gotcha.”

He shakes his head in awe. “You are...also a demon.”

“I’m sorry,” you say earnestly. You feel a sudden and strangely intense guilt; you never want to deceive him, you never want to fake anything with him. This is going to be so much more than a fling. “I am actually sick.”

“Yeah, I know. I can tell. You’re all pale and droopy-looking. Your eyes are glazed.” He reaches over and feels your forehead, then your cheeks with the back of his hand. You’re too astonished to move. You realize that you’ve never kissed him, never even been held by him; not yet, anyway. But everything he does is flawlessly intimate, tender, perfection. The words blaze through your foggy mind like fireworks on the Fourth of July: I love him. “Okay,” he says finally. “Let’s introduce you to BoRhap.”

“Okay.” This is too soon, this is way too soon, I don’t even know this guy. But now you can’t imagine a life without him in it.

“I have to tell you something first.”

I knew this was insanely too good to be true. “Go ahead.”

He locks eyes with you, fearful somehow, maybe even wounded. “I’ve never felt this way before,” he says softly. “About anyone.”

“Oh,” you whisper, all the words knocked out of you like china off the top shelf. The world is moving in slow motion; the house is silent except for your pounding heartbeat. Then the walls start whirling like a carousel. “Oh no.” You fan your face with your hands; you can feel blood pooling in your cheeks like wildfire. Your stomach is in freefall, you’re breaking out in a cold sweat.

Ben’s jaw drops open. “Are you...short-circuiting...?”

“It’s not you, it’s me, I get faint if I overexert myself during my period, oh fuck.” You wave your hands frantically. “No no no no no.”

Ben snatches a People magazine off the coffee table and starts fanning you like you’re Cleopatra. “Don’t pass out!” he commands.

You laugh wildly as he leans over you, wafting cool air into your face. “This is the most ridiculous not-date I’ve ever been on.”

“Feeling better?”

“Yeah, I’m okay now.” You wipe your eyes and turn to him. “Ben...”

“We can just forget about what I said, I don’t want to kill you or anything—”

“I feel the same way,” you tell him quietly. And it’s true: maybe you’ve had crushes before, maybe you’ve even been in love before. But all of those things before were nothing like Ben.

Slowly, like rays of sunlight peeking over the horizon at dawn, his face breaks into a smile. And he doesn’t say a word; but as the movie rolls he slowly migrates over to your side of the couch, and before long his arms are wrapped around your waist, and then his chin is nestled in the dip of your collarbone, and then his warmth is radiating through you like embers cracking in a firepit. Your cramps have vanished, and your headache is just a shadow beneath the waves, and you’re breathing in his myriad of scents: laundry detergent and cologne and mint gum and something else you can’t quite place, something heavy and dark like smoke.

Whenever there’s a close-up shot of Ben’s face, he covers his own eyes and groans bashfully; but when his costars are on the screen he can’t help telling you stories about how Rami learned to move like Freddie Mercury, how Gwilym transformed completely into Brian May, how Joe had to endure a perm for months after shooting wrapped. You’re entranced, not just by the movie, not just by the music, but by the love that emanates from all of it: love between the real-life Queen, between the actors, between the friends who became family.

“I love it,” you murmur as the credits materialize from the blackness. “I love it. I want to know all the stories, I want to know everything about what you do, who you work with.”

“Do you want to meet them?”

“Who, the BoRhap cast?!” You’re clapping your palms together, gasping, starstruck. “Yes, yes, absolutely! Can I do that?!”

“You totally can. We’re getting together next Thursday. You in?”

“That’s a school night,” you observe tentatively.

“Fine then, Miss Y/L/N, stay home and grade addition problems.”

You shove his firm, muscled arms away from you playfully. “I’ll make it work, Mr. Hardy. Which reminds me...there’s something I wanted to show you.” You lumber off the couch and start shuffling through a pile of worksheets stacked on your plushy teal lounge chair.

“Don’t wear yourself out.” Ben’s trying to sound casual, but his voice is just gentle enough to betray concern.

You find the paper you’re searching for and bring it back to the couch. “The assignment was for the students to describe their perfect day, the best day they could possibly think of. This is what Eli turned in.” You hold the worksheet out to Ben, and he takes it.

“My Best Day,” he reads the heading, charmed. Then his eyes skim down to Eli’s muddled handwriting; the letters are crooked, the pencil marks slightly smudged in spots. “My best day is with my Dad. My Dad is the funnest, best Dad in the world. We would go to the park and pool and get ice cream and In-N-Out Burger. I love him.” Below that is a crayon sketch of Ben and Eli—two stick figures, one blond and one brunette, with matching blue swim trunks—holding melting ice cream cones under a fiery orange sun. Ben gazes unfocusedly at the paper, wordless now.

“What do you think of that?” you ask with a smile. “I still need to write comments and slap on my dinosaur stickers and return them to the kids, but I thought you’d like to see it first.”

Ben nods, and only then do you realize that his emerald eyes are welling up, slick like morning dew on arched blades of grass.

“Ben...” You reach for him, your fingers closing around his shoulder. “I’m sure it hasn’t always been easy for you, for either of you. But you’ve done a great job. Eli’s a challenge, sure, but he’s a brilliant kid. And he idolizes you.”

“Yeah,” Ben says, and then stands abruptly, handing the worksheet back to you. You feel his absence like a crevice in the earth, like gravity falling out from under your feet. “I’m sorry, I have to take care of a few things before I pick Eli up from school, I gotta get going.”

“Okay, sure,” you agree uncertainly.

“Are you...will you be okay here on your own?”

“I was doing just peachy before you dropped in, Mr. Hardy.”

“Right.” He smiles distractedly and kisses your forehead before he hurries off into the kitchen. You hear him rustle around in there for a while, for longer than it should take to grab his wallet and keys.

“Are you leaving me more surreptitious fridge magnet messages?”

“Maybe,” he replies cryptically. “Okay, I’m off. I’ll call you. Don’t forget: next Thursday night. Don’t fill up your schedule with any other not-dates with friendly neighborhood demons.”

“You got it.”

And then he’s gone. You try not to get your hopes up; you take a bathroom break, finish your water, and find a Lord of the Rings marathon on tv before you venture out into the kitchen for what you swear to yourself is just a trip for iced tea.

The refrigerator magnets spell out three words: I love you. 

[keichanz]

Move Your Body || pt. 1

Hi, friends. First off, I want to say that I really wanted to finish and post this before Sunday, but obviously that didn’t happen, so I decided to go ahead and post the first part of my new AU because...well. Just continue reading. :) 

Secondly, some of you may know this, some may not, but today, the 28th, is also my birthday. Yep, I turned the big 3-0 today, and lemme tell you I am not thrilled about it lmao. 

Some of you may also know that recently I created a Ko-fi and that I’ve been struggling a bit financially wise. 

This fic is a great, big, fat thank you to all of you who have supported me through Ko-fi and also for those of you who didn’t, but were there for me anyway with your encouragement, kind words, and emotional support. I can’t begin to tell how how much it meant to me that you guys didn’t hesitate to donate, and I am not lying when I say it literally brought me to tears. I cried from your generosity, and I cannot thank you enough for helping me out. This month has been a bit rougher than most, and I am eternally grateful to every single one of you. I wanted to give you something in return, and I thought, why not post this AU early. It’s small, and I know a lot of you are looking forward to the next chapter of You Rescued Me (it’s in the works!), but I hope this will suffice.

Having all of you as friends, as followers and readers, is the best birthday gift I could have ever asked for. I’m so damn blessed and grateful to have all of you in my life and i hope you all know that I appreciate and love you all from the very bottom of my heart.

So thank you again for being there for me. You can all bet your asses I’ll be the first one to jump on the chance in helping in any way that I can if ever one of you need support. Because you have mine, guaranteed. 

Note: I know fuck all about choreography or being a producer, so for the sake of this story, pretend everything in factual and accurate lmao.

Inuyasha was lounging in his office and puffing idly on a cigarette while poring over some of his old routines in hopes of sparking some inspiration when he heard the music.

Normally he wouldn’t care and would just ignore it, the probability that it was one of his instructors coming in for the midnight lessons his studio offered more than likely. Less likely it was one of their students wanting to get in some late night practice, but still possible. They needed express permission from himself in order to do that, and since neither Sango nor Miroku had run it by him to get that authorization, Inuyasha doubted any of his instructors’ students actually had the balls to sneak in without consent. So that ruled that out.

Inuyasha frowned and looked up from his desk, pinching the cig between two fingers and exhaling. He cocked his head, ears twitching as he tried to determine where exactly it was coming from, and when he did his eyebrows shot up in surprise. The music was not coming from the first or second floor, suggesting it was either one of his friends or a student, but instead the soft notes of a vaguely familiar hip-hop song were drifting up from directly below him.

The Taisho Studios building was made up of five floors, with the ground floor being the first. That one was Sango’s studio where she held her lessons, teaching those interested in how to dance in various styles and offering kick-boxing lessons as well. Miroku instructed his clientele on the second floor, where he offered various unique exercise regimes that was basically Zumba but with his own personal flare.

The third floor, however, was reserved for his use only, the top dog’s private studio where only a select few ever saw the inside, and those usually consisted of celebrities looking for the best of the best for their music videos. Inuyasha instructed those lessons himself and charged top dollar for his services. Everyone knew it was off limits and he kept the door locked. The fourth floor consisted of his spacious office and gym, also available to Miroku and Sango whenever they wanted since they weren’t just his instructors, but also his valued friends. It was conveniently located right below his top floor condo so whenever Inuyasha was working late, he could just drag his ass upstairs and bam, he was home.

Wondering who had the balls big enough to use his private studio without his permission, Inuyasha abandoned his work and strode to the door, cracking it open and sticking his head out into the hall. The music got louder and Inuyasha surmised whoever it was must have left the doors wide open so as far as he was concerned that was an open invitation to go see who it was and then kick them the hell out.

Glancing over his shoulder and eyeing the desk littered with paperwork and his open lap top, Inuyasha snorted, shrugged, and promptly decided he needed a break. His deadline wasn’t for another month and he wasn’t being very productive tonight anyway so Sesshomaru can just kiss his merrily dancing ass and deal with it.

Sticking his cig back between his lips, Inuyasha forwent using the elevator and instead wandered casually down the hall, going into the stairwell and then abruptly vaulting over the railing and dropping to the third floor. The entrance to his studio was right across from the elevators and staircase, so when he opened the door he found himself staring directly into it—and the person brave enough to utilize the spacious room without his knowledge.

For the second time that night Inuyasha’s eyebrows rose in surprise and without even being aware of it he padded across the hallway. His footsteps were masked by the music coming out of the Bluetooth speakers and they were facing away from them. Curious despite himself, Inuyasha leaned against the doorjamb and crossed his arms, golden eyes silent observing as a little smirk quirked his lips.

Kagome released an undignified squawk as she stumbled forward for the nth time that night, the toe of her shoe catching on the hardwood floor and throwing off her balance. Windmilling her arms, she managed to catch herself before she face-planted onto the hard floor and resisted the urge to stamp her foot like a child and scream her vexation into the empty studio.

Dammit, why couldn’t she get this? Sango had made it look so easy when she’d shown her earlier, and after a couple of tries with her instructor’s guidance, Kagome had been able to more or less command her body to execute a smooth hip roll without looking like a twerking imbecile. Now for some reason she was unable to smoothly transition into the dance move she wanted without nearly falling over and needless to say she was getting frustrated.

Grumbling under her breath and wishing she had her friend’s tall and slender physique, Kagome stomped over to the table where her phone sat and paused the song in order to once more bring up the choreography. She hit play for the hundredth time, studied closely the two men and one woman flawlessly busting out move after move without fault and she promptly scowled before tossing her phone back on the table with a rough exhale.

Closing her eyes and tilting her head back, Kagome frowned and allowed her mind to wander, vaguely noting the faint smell of cigarette smoke that had been present earlier had suddenly gotten stronger. What was she even doing, anyway? She’d never been the most coordinated of people and was oftentimes called a klutz. She wasn’t graceful and she wasn’t even athletic, so really, this was a waste of time. She knew if she carried this out she would only end up making a fool of herself so why go through the trouble?

“Because,” Kagome answered herself with a deep sigh, shoulders slumping in defeat, “I’m too damn stubborn and my stupid pride won’t let me quit.”

“You make it sound like that’s a bad thing.”

Kagome gasped and spun around, hand over her pounding heart and blue eyes wide with a combination of surprise and embarrassment. Her gaze landed on the lounging figure in the doorway, casually puffing away on a cigarette as he regarded her silently.

Well, that explains the odor of cigarette smoke, Kagome mused while aloud she said, “Jeez, you scared me. I didn’t know anyone else was here.” She paused and then frowned when his words registered. “What?”

The man said nothing and just continued to stare at her, cig tucked between his lips, expression unreadable. He was...damn, he was attractive, Kagome secretly admitted, feeling a blush creep up to color her cheeks a soft pink. Donned in loose fitting black jeans that rode low on his hips and a plain white t-shirt that contoured very nicely to a toned chest and stomach, a backwards ballcap was pulled on top of a head of short, shaggy silver hair. His eyes looked to be a stunning golden color and when he lifted a hand to pinch the cig between two fingers, Kagome noticed two things: the talons tipping each finger, instantly giving away what he was, and the black tattoo starting at his wrist that crawled up his arm to disappear into his shirt sleeve.

Kagome’s breath hitched and her heart skipped a beat. No wonder he’s so attractive, she thought dazedly, glimpsing a flash of fang as he parted his lips and tendrils of smoke drifted up toward the ceiling. He’s not human.

What was that saying? The most beautiful things in life are often the most dangerous, or something to that effect. Kagome was inclined to believe it, suddenly feeling very flushed and where was her water bottle?

“Tenacity and pride,” the man continued, studying the fag between his fingers with an air of boredom. “By themselves they don’t do much good and more often than not just get you into trouble, but put them together and success is pretty much guaranteed in the performing arts industry.

“So I guess you could say,” he said and took a drag of his cig, “they’re requirements in our world. Stipulations if you wanna get anywhere in life.”

Kagome shook her head. “Um, our world?” she repeated, utterly lost.

The look he gave her was deadpan. “Dancing, babydoll.”

Ocean eyes widened in understanding and her flush darkened as she sheepishly averted her gaze, fidgeting where she stood.

“Oh, I, um,” Kagome faltered, clearing her throat and for some reason suddenly feeling like a child in front of a grown up about to confess to being naughty. “I’m...not a dancer,” she finished lamely and winced, twisting the fabric of her shirt with her fingers in a nervous habit.

Inuyasha raised a dubious brow at that declaration. “Alright,” he allowed, nodding slowly. “So suppose you tell me what the hell you’re doing in my private studio then, playing music and dressed like that?”

Kagome blanched and jerked her head up to stare at him with wide-eyes. “P-private?” she squeaked and looked so terrified Inuyasha briefly regretted telling her that. “Oh god—I’m so sorry, I didn’t know! Er, my dance instructor Sango told me I could use her studio tonight to get some practice in, but when I got here it was locked and I...found this one and it was unlocked...”

Looking very uncomfortable with a red face and shifting nervously from foot to foot, Inuyasha felt his face soften slightly as he watched her and he released a quiet sigh around the cig in his mouth. It had been unlocked since he was in here an hour before trying out some moves for the new routine he was working on and he’d planned on locking back up before he went upstairs.

So ultimately it was his fault since he’d left the doors unlocked, and as such it wouldn’t exactly be fair to be angry at her. It also appeared she didn’t know who he was, which admittedly was a bit surprising. Everyone knew everything above the second floor was off limits unless given permission and it led him to believe she was a fairly new student of Sango’s.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized again and gave an awkward half-bow, biting down on her lip as she finally met his eyes. “I’ll, um, leave if you want me to. I really didn’t know...”

Inuyasha considered her for a moment and then shook his head. What was the point if she was already here? “Nah, don’t worry about,” he muttered and took another drag on his cig, watching as she visibly relaxed and offered him a timid smile.

Cute little thing, ain’t she? he mused idly and racked his gaze down her lithe form. She says she’s not a dancer, but she certainly had the body to be one. That damn shirt hid most of his view, but from what he could see of her legs—

“Are you an instructor?” she asked him, tilting her head. “I haven’t seen you around before.”

Inuyasha fought against the urge to grin. She really didn’t have any idea who he was.

“You can say that,” he finally said at length, finding himself not wanting to give away his identity just yet. This could prove to be interesting, and who knows; maybe it would spark some inspiration and he’d finally be able to get some results so Sesshomaru would stop jumping down his damn throat with his demands and deadlines.

“Still waiting for an explanation, babydoll,” Inuyasha reminded her and took another drag. Technically there was no smoking allowed in his building, but he owned it and could do whatever the hell he damn well pleased, so whatever.

She blinked. “For what?”

He cocked a brow at her and carelessly flicked some ashes onto the floor; maintenance would clean it up tomorrow morning anyway. “Why you’re here. You said you ain’t a dancer, which is all fine and dandy, but you got me curious.” He shrugged and let the cig dangle from his lips as he crossed his arms again.

Kagome winced and then wrinkled her nose, her face warming up at the true reason for her being here.

“It’s stupid...” she mumbled, staring down at the floor and hunching her shoulders a little.

Inuyasha frowned. “I doubt that,” he told her and had an insane, unexplainable urge to cross the room and wrap her up in his arms. She just looked so small and fragile and he wanted to...protect her? What the—from what?

Kagome looked like she didn’t believe but she took a breath and told him anyway, figuring he had a right to know since this was his private studio. Or at least that’s what he told her, however Kagome figured he was telling the truth because why else would he be here?

“It really is stupid,” she repeated with a sigh and a fleeting grimace crossed her features. “My college was holding an event the other day out in the courtyard in front of the student activities building, and since my friends and I had nothing better to do, we decided to go and see what it was all about. Turns out it was a DDR competition and they were using a giant white board as a screen and extension cords to hook the game up. Anyone was welcome to play a round and enter some friendly competition, and even though I’ve never played before in my life, I gave it a try.”

She paused and crossed her arms, her nose scrunching slightly in a little pout that he found completely too adorable. “Of course I failed miserably at it, but I laughed it off because it was just for fun anyway. But then this extremely rude and universally not liked rich bitch laughed way too hard about it and snarked that I would never win any contest with those moves.”

Inuyasha cocked a brow at her, his tone disbelieving as he drawled, “You’re here because of a game of DDR?”

She scowled at him and had the good grace to blush. “No. If you let me continue, I was going to say the purpose of the entire event was to promote an actual dance competition where you have to come up with a new dance to a song of your choosing. It has to be at least one minute long, an entry can have up to four people, and all of the moves have to be completely original.”

“Sounds fair,” he commented.

Kagome nodded. “So after humiliating me in front of dozens of people, this bitch flips her hair, pops her chest out so everybody notices her fake boobs, and loudly declares that it’ll be a piece of cake winning the competition since ‘nobody worth while’ has entered. And oh my god, I got so heated, and just to spite the cocky bitch, I stared her right in the eye as I entered despite the fact that I cannot dance worth a good goddamn.

“And so now,” Kagome shrugged and held up her hands helplessly. “Here I am, sneaking into private studios at midnight and pretending like I know what the hell I’m doing.” She offered a wavering smile, her face still red but her blue eyes were bright.

Inuyasha nodded again and whistled low. “I see,” he murmured. “Good on you though, for not letting her cow you like that. I take it this isn’t the first time she’s given you grief.”

Kagome sighed and pinched her nose. “Since I started college three years ago. We’re in the same major.”

“Which is?”

“Nursing.”

He looked surprised. “So this bitch walking about like her shit don’t stink wants a career that dedicates all of her time taking care of and thinking about someone else other than herself? Is that what you’re telling me?”

“I know,” Kagome said drolly, her expression one of dry exasperation. “Trust me, the irony is not lost on me.”

“Damn,” Inuyasha muttered in bewilderment, shaking his head.

Kagome grunted in agreement, wrinkling her nose.

He bit back a chuckle. “Alright. Now lemme ask you this, babydoll,” Inuyasha suddenly said, flicking more ashes onto the floor and when her inquisitive blue eyes met his, he continued. “You said earlier that your stubbornness and pride won’t let you back down. Is that still true?”

Kagome blinked in confusion, brow furrowing slightly. “What...?”

“Is it?”

Amber eyes bore into her own and Kagome shivered. “I...yes,” she answered, barely above a whisper.

He nodded. “One more thing.” Pinching the nearly gone cancer stick between two fingers and lowering it from his lips, Inuyasha looked directly into her eyes and exhaled smoothly.

“Do you want it?”

Kagome opened her mouth. Closed it. Looked adorably confused. “Do I...do I want what?”

Inuyasha was silent for a moment as he studied her, and then he answered roughly, “You have to want it, babydoll. Spite is a great motivator, but it’s not enough if you want real results. If you don’t want it bad enough, if this is all just a game to get back at some snotty bitch with fake tits, then you’re wasting your time and might as well leave right now. I don’t give my time to quitters.”

Kagome gasped and shook her head, her heart pounding at what he was implying. “What do you—”

“Do you want it?”

The intensity in which he’d asked that single question gave Kagome pause and suddenly she knew exactly what he was referring to, what he wanted to hear her say. And it was amazing because she did want it; she wanted it with a desperation that surprised her because when she’d changed into her workout clothes and left her apartment at 11:30 at night to practice dancing in an empty studio, she hadn’t truly thought that she would get anywhere and thought for sure she’d end up giving in and backing down.

But then suddenly this man appears out of nowhere, starts asking her questions about pride and tenacity, somehow wheedles out the real reason why she’s here and her ambition roars back to life. No, it wasn’t just spite that made her agree. True, she wanted to prove that bitch wrong, but she wanted to prove to herself even more that she could do this and do it so well she’d leave everyone wondering if she was the same clumsy Kagome that tripped over air and fell up the stairs.

“Yes,” Kagome answered honestly, squaring her shoulders and straightening her back. Nodding, she repeated herself, her voice strong and ringing with resolve.

“Yes, I want it. I want it.”

Inuyasha’s eyes flashed and he nodded once. “Good.”

Then with that he started toward her, his strides purposeful and Kagome watched him as he approached the table behind her and stabbed out his cigarette in the ash tray she’d failed to notice before now.

Then he turned to her, crossed his arms, and leaned back against the table.

“Let’s see it.”

Kagome balked. “What?”

“Show me what you got, babydoll. Dance for me.”

Kagome blushed and swallowed thickly, her mouth suddenly feeling dry as her heart kick started in her chest.

“Why?” she whispered although she suspected she already knew why.

Instead of answering, Inuyasha grabbed her phone and woke up the screen, ignoring her protest. “What song?”

Kagome made a half-hearted swipe for her mobile and huffed in aggravation when he held it away from her. “Song?”

He cut his eyes to her with an annoyed frown. “What song are you going to be dancing to?”

She blinked. “Oh. Well, I was thinking maybe Girls like You by Maroon—”

“No.”

“...Excuse me?”

“No,” Inuyasha repeated and scrolled through the songs on her music app. “It’s not a bad choice, but it’s too...soft for what you need. If you wanna win this competition you’re gonna want something with a real shock factor, something totally unexpected that’ll knock their fucking socks off and have men and women alike panting and wanting a piece of that.”

Kagome made a face and muttered, “I don’t really care if I win this thing. I just want Kamlyn to eat her words and maybe get her to stop harassing me every goddamned day.”

Inuyasha shrugged. “Then consider it a bonus because when I’m through with you it’ll be guaranteed. Now,” he said and browsed her music again with a contemplative frown. “From what you’ve told me about this Kamlyn wench, it’s safe to assume her dance is not going to be kid friendly. That means you’re gonna hafta knock her performance outta the park with something sexier.”

Kagome blanched. Sexier? Oh god. She was anything but sexy and she really didn’t think she liked where he was going with this...

“You’re taste in music sucks,” he commented idly when still he saw nothing after a few more minutes of scrolling. She must have had over five hundred songs on the damn thing and yet none of the titles he glimpsed were appropriate for what he had in mind. He uselessly scrolled for another minute, gave up, and decided he’d have better luck with YouTube. They’d have to discuss what song she’ll use at a later time, but for now he’d just use a random bop with a suitable rhythm and he searched for the first one that came to mind.

“It does not,” Kagome fired back petulantly and crossed her arms again. “If you’re gonna insult my music then you can just—”

Inuyasha tapped the screen and seconds later the rest of her words were abruptly cut off by a steady, thrumming beat pumping from the speakers around them. The music ebbed and flowed, giving off a suggestive and sultry energy that can often be found in strip clubs. The lyrics followed shortly thereafter, soft, sexy, and alluring.

Kagome’s heart stopped and for the second time in as many minutes the color drained from her face. Oh no. Nooooo no no no no he couldn’t possibly want her to dance to…to something like that?

As the crooning lyrics abruptly turned into obscene moaning sounds, Inuyasha set her phone on the table and crossed his arms before nodding his head behind her, a wordless gesture to get on with it.

Oh good lord he did. Fervently Kagome shook her head, her eyes pleading with him to choose another song while inwardly cursing every perverted songwriter that decided it would be a good idea to create something like that. It was too embarrassing, too…too suggestive, something she wouldn’t even do in the privacy of her own room, let alone in front of a very attractive man!

Inuyasha frowned at her adamant refusal and explained, “I need to see what I’m working with here, babydoll, and in order for me to do that, you need to show me. This is just to give me an idea on where to start, so just pretend I’m not here and let the music take over. Close your eyes if you need to and let everything else just fade away.”

Blushing furiously, Kagome bit her lip and hesitated, dropping her gaze to stare down at the floor and clutched the hem of her shirt, wringing the fabric in an obviously nervous gesture. She knew without a doubt that even if she did close her eyes she would still be aware of his presence. Even now she could feel the weight of his gaze, staring at her unwaveringly and it made her stomach do not so unpleasant flip-flops as her heart accelerated in her chest.

Didn’t he realize what he was asking of her? Kagome had never considered herself sexy; hell, she wouldn’t even call herself pretty. She was average. She didn’t turn heads, never attracted attention, and she could count on one hand the number of times a guy had flirted with her. (Once, and it was her ex-boyfriend.) Kagome was awkward, clumsy; she knew she was no prize and her confidence level was drastically low.

Simply put, she wasn’t Kamlyn, who, despite being completely fake, was considered one of the hottest people on campus and she wasn’t afraid to flaunt what she had. How could he possibly ask her to dance to a song like this when she had nothing to flaunt?

When the song transitioned into the first chorus and all she did was continue to stand there looking very uncomfortable while avoiding his gaze, it became glaringly obvious that her hesitation went beyond mere shyness so with a sigh Inuyasha swiped up her phone and hit pause. Her shoulders hunched as the music was abruptly cut off and she peeked up at him, biting her lip and looking like she was about to be scolded.

His expression softened, however the confusion was evident on his face as he regarded her thoughtfully. Was this truly so difficult for her?

“Okay,” he murmured. “What’s the matter?” The patient softness of his voice surprised even him and judging by the look that crossed her face, it surprised her too.

She recovered quickly, though, and once more ducked her head, shifting her weight and feeling a flush of embarrassment color her face a soft pink. She really didn’t want to confide in a virtual stranger all of her self-image issues, even if he was trying to help her. Maybe if she gave him just a brief display of her awkwardness and incoordination he would see for himself that the song definitely wasn’t the best choice.

Dearly hoping she wouldn’t regret this, Kagome swallowed thickly and said just loud enough for him to hear, “Um, s-start the song over, please.”

Inuyasha frowned at her unexpected request and he eyed her for a moment, expression contemplative, before wordlessly reaching over to wake up the screen and did as he bade him. A single tap of a clawed finger and the song was starting over, the beginning notes echoing throughout the studio.

Steeling herself, unable to stop her nervous shaking, Kagome took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and started moving.

Right off the bat Inuyasha knew with absolute certainty, or at the least very strongly suspected just why exactly she was so adamant about not using this particular song. It was heavy with sex appeal, the kind that made women grind and gyrate their hips as they sought to turn on every single man nearby, and this girl, this young woman had absolutely zero.

Her movements were stiff and awkward as she attempted to move her body to the music provided like she had no idea where to put her limbs. The look of intense concentration on her face suggested that might very well be the case and it was clear she’d never before used her hips or ass as a method of seduction. They didn’t roll so much as jerk and her knees weren’t at all relaxed but locked which accounted for all the stumbling she was doing. Of course with that damn shirt in the way it was hard to accurately guess, but altogether it was glaringly obvious how out of her element she was, her discomfort not only painted clear as day on her face, but in the stiff way she moved.

After another stumble that nearly sent her sprawling onto the floor, Inuyasha couldn’t take it anymore and he put a stop to her painful performance by pressing pause and he didn’t miss the unmistakable look of relief that crossed her features.  Then she righted herself, sighed, and looked positively defeated as she stared at him, as if she already knew he was going to declare her a lost cause and change his mind about helping her.

If only she knew that watching her sorely lacking performance had the complete opposite and only solidified his decision to help her.

And besides, he always liked a challenge. It was only a bonus that he could use her routine – with her permission, of course – as new material and Sesshomaru would stop hounding him about the damn deadline in a month.

Which reminded him… “What’s your name, babydoll?” he asked as he scrolled through her songs and selected one that would be good practice for what he had in mind.

Kagome frowned at the unexpected question but answered, “Kagome.”

“How long you got until the competition, Kagome?” Setting her phone back on the table, Inuyasha took off his hat and carelessly tossed it onto the table as well before promptly reaching behind him and yanking off his shirt.

Kagome sputtered as her face flamed, eyes going very wide to suddenly be faced with a very attractive, bare chested man. Good god, but this man was a silver-haired Adonis, all sculpted muscle, tanned skin, and those ears were too damn cute. What really grabbed her attention, however, was the wicked looking tribal tattoo wrapped around his left arm that she was finally able to see in its entirety. The intricate design extended all the way up to his shoulder and upon closer inspection it appeared to be a dragon with the head on his left pectoral. It was beautifully done and Kagome was slightly jealous. She’d always wanted a tattoo...

“I—I—uh, a little over a month?” she said, completely distracted by the complete magnificently tattooed male...yumminess that he presented.

Without her permission her eyes tracked the line of silver hair that disappeared into his low-slung jeans. Her heart beat a little faster as the blush on her face intensified and oh my god, he had another tattoo in the delectable V of his right hip bone, what looked to be jagged red claw marks half-concealed by his jeans.

Kagome thought she might faint.

Inuyasha snorted in amusement. This was too perfect. “Good. Take it off.”

That jolted her right out of her avid admiration of his solid abs and she blinked, darting her gaze this with a puzzled frown. “What?”

He withheld a smirk. Checking him out, was she? Then it was only fair he got to do the same.

“Shirt. Off. Now. Unless you’d like me to do it for you?” He cocked a brow at her and had to grin when she squeaked and took a step away from him. “C’mon, we ain’t got all night.”

“But—what—” Kagome stuttered, utterly perplexed and she crossed her arms over her stomach as if that would be any defense to him divesting her of her shirt. “Why?” she finally managed.

Inuyasha rolled his eyes and explained, “Because it’ll only get in the way and I need to be able to see.”

She eyed him suspiciously and narrowed her eyes. “See what?”

He scowled then, getting impatient. “To see why you move like an eighty year old woman with Parkinson’s, now would you stop questioning me and just take the fucking thing off already? You’re wearing a bra anyway and it ain’t like I’m asking so I can ogle your tits or some shit. Christ,” he muttered and rubbed his forehead. She certainly wasn’t kidding when she said she was stubborn.

Kagome flushed. Truth was, she had assumed part of the reason he was asking was so he could stare at her chest but now she felt ridiculous for even suspecting it. She didn’t even think he was that type of man anyway, she was just...nervous. She liked her oversized shirts; they were her security blanket, a shield to protect herself from anyone looking too closely. If she took it off, despite having a sports bra on underneath, she would feel too vulnerable, exposed in a way that had nothing to do with lack of clothing.

Here he was, standing in all his beautiful half-naked glory, sculpted abs, a hard chest, and arms thick with muscle and strength. Meanwhile here she was, plain, frumpy Kagome, with her small chest, soft stomach, and general awkwardness. Standing next to him, she felt like the ugly duckling that got hit with every branch on her way down the ugly tree and he expected her to reveal all of her could-stand-to-lose-a-few-pounds body to him?

Hell no.

Once more avoiding his gaze and shifting from foot to foot, Kagome’s hands clutched the dark gray fabric of her shirt and she shook her head, biting down on her lip.

“Um—I, uh, c-can’t I continue wearing it? Please?”

Even she could hear how pathetic she sounded pleading about something so trivial but she couldn’t help it. She was already feeling out of sorts with the song he was using; keeping her shirt was her last defense. Didn’t he know that?

Scowling, Inuyasha opened his mouth to once again demand she remove it, but then she peeked up at him from under dark, sooty lashes and when his eyes connected with hers realization hit him so hard his eyes widened and his mouth dropped. Kagome winced and immediately ducked her face again, flushing darkly.

...Well, fuck. It made so much sense now. Granted, this whole endeavor just became ten times more challenging, but it was too late to back out now. Besides, he couldn’t in good conscience allow her to continue thinking about herself like that when it was so obviously untrue.

Muttering a curse under his breath that had Kagome daring another glimpse at him, Inuyasha promptly stepped in close to her and ignored her quiet gasp of surprise before knocking her arms out of the way and hooking a claw in the collar of her shirt. Too late Kagome realized what he was going to do and before she could utter any sort of protest Inuyasha swiftly drew his hand down and sliced the garment right down the middle. Stunned and blushing up a storm, Kagome could do nothing as he yanked the shirt the rest of the way off and tossed it carelessly behind him onto the table.

While Kagome stood there with her arms over her chest and berated him for ruining her shirt, Inuyasha finally got his first good look at her and damn did he like what he saw. She was fucking perfect with a flat, trim belly that tapered into shapely hips and sender thighs encased in tight spandex shorts. Her skin was smooth and creamy and his hands suddenly itched to roam over her figure but he kept them to himself; he figured ignoring her wishes and destroying her only cover was pushing it enough as it was and he needed her to trust him.

From what he could see of her chest behind her arms, her breasts were small but that didn’t matter; a push-up bra or corset could do fucking wonders and before his mind had the chance to travel in a decidedly less than pure direction, Inuyasha said four words that promptly drew Kagome’s tirade to a screeching halt.

“Kagome, you’re fucking perfect,” he told her sincerely and perhaps a tad bit impatiently but she refused to hear it, adamantly shaking her head and denying his claim. Frowning he grabbed her hands kept her from hiding herself, tightening his grip when she tried to pull away.

“No, listen to me, I’m serious. You have absolutely fucking nothing to be ashamed of, Kagome. You’re stunning with a fucking rocking body and I’ll say it every goddamn day if I have to until you believe me, but what I see before me is nothing short of beautiful.”

When still she wouldn’t look at him and kept shaking her head, Inuyasha growled and gently grasped her chin in his fingers, tilting her face up and her sharp gasp went ignored as he continued, “Confidence is a key factor in this sort of thing, babydoll. You move the way you do because you don’t have any; you think you’re not sexy and that’s sorta the whole point I’m going for here. If you wanna do this, you’re gonna have to start believing you can and the first step is being confident and comfortable in your own skin.”

Inuyasha suddenly sighed and some of the vehemence left his tone as he said a bit more gently, “Look, you have the physical requirements for this; you’re fit and I’m willing to bet you’re flexible as hell. There’s really nothing stopping you but you and if you really do want this like you told me, then you need to stop this embarrassed shit and either tell me to fuck off and go home, or look me in the eye and fucking commit.  I don’t half-ass things, Kagome; I’m gonna work you into the fucking ground until I think you’re ready and if you think you can’t do this, tell me now. Like I told you before: I don’t give my time to quitters.”

Kagome flinched and he grit his teeth but didn’t take his words back. He wanted to help her, he truly did, but she needed to help him by trusting what he said and doing what was necessary. He may have been a bit too harsh, but he couldn’t help it. Most of the people he dealt with on a daily basis were pretentious celebrities that liked to throw around large amounts of cash just because they could and it was required of him to be a hardass to get through their self-absorbed bubble of fame in order to get to the nitty gritty of things. Most of the time it was received well, but occasionally he’d get the bored up and coming rock star that got too comfortable in their lifestyle and became nothing more than a spoiled brat and they ended up bowing out before any of the real work began. It was a giant pain in the ass and a huge waste of his valuable time, which was why he was so strict on who he decided to take on as a client.

He was one of the most respected, successful, and coveted producers in the whole fucking country. He was allowed to be choosy, goddammit.

Gently sweeping his thumb across her chin, Inuyasha waited to see what she would do, not afraid to admit to himself that he hoped she wouldn’t back out. He didn’t understand his strong desire to help her, not to mention his very strange urge to protect her at all costs, but he didn’t dwell on it. Kagome was different than any of the other woman he’d ever met; she was soft, innocent, untouched by the harsh realities of the world and despite having some evident self-image issues, he suspected that she was utterly breathtaking when she flourished and he wanted so badly to witness that. He wanted to be there when she shined, when she made that bitch Kam-whatever eat her words and that was when Inuyasha decided he was going to do something he’d never done before in any of his client’s routines. 

Of course he needed to get her to agree to it first, but he was confident he could wear her down even if she did disagree at first. She may be stubborn, but he was as bullheaded as they come and was oftentimes told he didn’t know when to give up. It was one of his best qualities that contributed to his popularity among producers and he wasn’t afraid to let anyone know.

Now if only Kagome had half that confidence...

Inuyasha was already cooking up a few ideas while he waited for her to make her decision when finally, finally, Kagome lifted her head, those beautiful ocean eyes locked with his, and the cautious hope in them was nearly his undoing. Without even realizing it his expression softened and he gave her that last push she needed to make her decision.

“Trust me, Kagome,” he murmured and daringly brushed his thumb across her bottom lip, watching the flush spread across her cheeks and hearing her breath hitch in her throat. “Just trust me and I promise you won’t regret it. Alright?”

Kagome’s eyes widened and she studied him quietly, her eyes searching his face, his eyes for what he hadn’t a clue, but apparently after another moment she found it because the corners of her mouth lifted up into a small, timid smile, she sucked in a breath, and then she gave a barely perceptible nod.

“Okay,” she breathed and officially sealed her fate.

Inuyasha grinned. “That’s my girl,” he said and had the insane urge to kiss her forehead. “Now let’s get this show on the road; it’s late, I have a meeting at 9 am, and I want to at least go over the basics before we call it a night. Sound good?”

Hardly believing she was actually going through with this, Kagome closed her eyes and nodded again. She could trust him. She could trust...wait a minute, what even was his name?

“What’s your name?” she blurted out as he restarted their practice song and golden eyes cut her way at the question.

He gave her a crooked grin and his eyes flashed wickedly. “It’s Inuyasha, babydoll, but I’m more commonly known as Sha.” He cocked a brow at her and watched Kagome’s face go from blank as she attempted to place his name to instant recognition, eyes going wide and mouth dropping in astonishment.

“Y...you’re...” she breathed, apparently having trouble articulating her thoughts, and Inuyasha chuckled. Usually it annoyed him when someone was so starstruck they could barely speak, but strangely with Kagome he found it completely endearing.

“Yeah,” he affirmed, raising his brows. “I admit, I’m a little surprised you didn’t recognize me. The ears usually give it away.” He wiggled them for emphasis and he caught her quiet giggle.

Her smile was equal parts sheepish and apologetic. “I don’t really watch TV and I’m not really invested in the entertainment world, either.” She shrugged.

Inuyasha stared at her. God, she was so pure he felt as if just standing next to her would somehow taint or blemish her. He’d done some shady shit in his past, and he was by no means innocent now, and for the first time in his life he felt inadequate and quite suddenly wanted to take a shower, as if that would help wash off his sins and dirty deeds.

“Well,” he drawled and reached back to wake her phone’s screen. “After tonight, babydoll, consider yourself invested.”

He hit play and the first notes of their practice song drifted out of the speakers.

Instantly Kagome recognized it and she frowned. “I thought we weren’t using this song.”

The silver-haired choreography shrugged and grabbed her hand to tug her a little closer. “We’re not, but it’s got a good enough melody to use as a practice song. We’ll start with something slow first that you’re comfortable with and then work our way up to faster paced songs that are similar to what you’re gonna use for the competition. Sound good?”

Releasing a steadying breath, Kagome briefly closed her eyes and then nodded, resolute. “Let’s do this.”

He smirked. “That’s what I like to hear. And now, lesson one.”

Without warning Inuyasha spun her around so he back was facing his chest and used his foot to nudge her legs a little farther apart. He slid his hand around to splay across her lower stomach and he felt her immediately tense up. Expected, which was why this was a good place to start.

“When I was watching you dance earlier,” he began and placed his other hand on her hip. “I noticed you were thinking way too hard on how to move, where to put your feet and all that. You need to relax. Let your body think for you, let it move on its own. You kept stumbling and tripping earlier because you were so tense and you were so busy trying to command your body to move the way you wanted it to that you ended up looking like a robot.”

He leaned his face down so his mouth hovered next to her ear. “So breathe, Kagome,” he said and smiled when she released the breath he was sure she wasn’t even aware she’d been holding. “Dancing is supposed to be fun. It ain’t rocket science.”

Reminding herself that she had to trust him – he did this for a living, after all – Kagome did as she was instructed and took a few moments to just breathe, closing her eyes and trying to clear her mind. She was highly aware of his hands on her hip and stomach but surprisingly enough the not so unpleasant sensation was easy to get used to. Her lips lifted into a slight smile as she slowly relaxed, listening to the music, allowing the smooth beat to ease the tension from her muscles.

“Thatta girl,” Inuyasha murmured behind her and squeezed her hip once in approval. “Alright, now listen to the beat...move with it...don’t think about it, Kagome, listen to the song and let it command you, not the other way around.”

“I am,” Kagome huffed, her brow furrowed slightly as she attempted to sync her hips with the beat of the music.

“No, you’re not,” Inuyasha insisted and closed the slight gap between them, stepping in close to press his chest flush against her back and yanking her ass into the cradle of his hips. She gasped, but he ignored it as he said, “You hear it, but you’re not listening.”

With his hands and his own body, Inuyasha moved her the way he wanted her to, guiding her hips from side to side as his own did the same, allowing her to feel and not merely hear what he was saying.

“See,” Inuyasha rumbled in her ear and Kagome shivered, willing her heartbeat to calm and the fierce blush on her face to recede as. “Don’t just listen with your ears, listen with your body. As cheesy as that sounds,” he added and smiled when she released a breathy laugh, gratified when she finally allowed herself to be taken by the beat and let the music command her.

With her eyes closed and so in tune with the melody wrapping around her body, letting it dictate her movements, Kagome was barely aware of Inuyasha stepping back, though he kept a light grip on her hips. She didn’t even understand how, but suddenly it was so easy to move with the rhythm of the beat and soon she lost herself to the notes of one of her favorite songs, smiling now as she danced without a care. It wasn’t a chore, it wasn’t something she felt she had to do at all costs, but a deep desire she hadn’t even been aware she’d harbored.

Standing a few feet away from her, arms crossed and a satisfied grin on his face, Inuyasha watched with half-lidded eyes as she danced like no one was watching, losing herself to the music and even singing along to the lyrics. It was obvious she’d forgotten he was even there, but that was okay. That’s what he’d wanted, for her to forget everything and just have fun, if only for a few minutes.

All right, so he could admit, this wasn’t really a lesson so much as a warm up. He’d caught a few brief glimpses of it earlier when he’d told her to show him what she had, but watching her now, taking in the graceful movements of her body and the smooth way she transitioned each step, it was obvious to him that Kagome was a natural. She knew what to do, or at least her body did; she just needed some fine-tuning, is all, an upgrade to an already seamlessly working piece of machinery. They still had a long way to go of course, but perhaps it wouldn’t be as challenging as he’d originally thought.

He was suddenly really looking forward to the next month or so.

The song ended a moment later and Kagome stood there, legs akimbo, chest popped and shoulders back and her face was beautifully flushed with a bright smile spread across her face. He was gratified to see she didn’t even seem to be that much out of breath either, a testament to her strength and agility, another thing that would make this easier for both of them.

The sound of clapping drew her attention and Kagome turned her head to find Inuyasha standing a little ways a way, a satisfied grin on his face as he clapped, obviously pleased with her performance. Suddenly giddy Kagome giggled and gave an exaggerated bow, sweeping her arms around behind her and she heard his amused chuckle.

“That was great, babydoll,” he praised and ambled toward her. “You’re a fucking natural and with a little guidance from yours truly, we’ll have both men and women drooling after you and you’re gonna show up that bitch Kam-what’s-her-face so good she won’t be able to show her face on campus for fucking weeks.”

With big blue eyes glinting with cautious hope, Kagome peered up at him with a hesitant smile as butterflies abruptly took flight in her belly.

“You really think so?” she asked, for the first time daring to believe that she could do something better than Kamlyn, daring to believe that she could be better, period.

Inuyasha stopped in front of her and smirked arrogantly.

“I know so. Alright, now I’m gonna show you a few basic moves and I want you to follow my lead...”

Part 2

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #274

“now i can hear the marching feet / they’re moving into the street”

What color was the last swimsuit you wore? I only have a black one. Is your dream job attainable? I mean define “dream job.” I’d ideally be a meerkat biologist if I was willing to live in Africa and could handle even mild heat, but I can’t/won’t do either of those, so it’s not obtainable to me. I’d also love to be a paleontologist if I could travel and handle heat once more, but again, I can’t. My only *attainable* dream job is being a photographer, which I am aiming for. I’d LIKE to focus on nature/wildlife photography, but that’s unlikely to be able to support me, so. Do you have to go to school or work tomorrow? N/A Have you slept for longer than usual today? Yes, but only because of my nightmares. I tend to take at least two (though sometimes one) hour-long naps during the day because if I wake up once during the night, as I usually do, I’m fucked because I’m very likely to have an intense nightmare. It seems like the medicine I’m on wears off with consciousness, I guess. I only allow myself to sleep an hour at daytime because my mother has noticed if I have a nightmare, it’s usually no earlier than one hour into sleep. Even then I still have them occasionally. Have you ever taken classes for a musical instrument? Recorder in elementary school was necessary for whatever stupid reason, and then I played the flute for years. Out of school, I took guitar lessons for a while. I got semi-decent (at best I could do the intro to “Crazy Train” at normal speed, I think), but it didn’t last because it was annoying/time-consuming to build up the calluses that make playing painless, I was really bad at overthinking where my fingers were, and I just wasn’t invested quite enough. I’ll tell you, it gave me mad respect for guitarists, that shit isn’t easy by any means. Have you ever been on vacation with someone other than your family? Yes, though it was brief. I was a kid (okay, pre-teen, w/e) still in my separation anxiety from Mom phase and it was literally because of me we had to go home. I still feel shitty about it, though no one seemed upset at me. How old do you think you’ll be when you move out on your own? Who the fuck even knows anymore. Do you have a job? If so, where do you work? If not, do you want one? No; N/A; yes ultimately but no at the current moment because I have to keep watch over Mom. If you wear make-up, which brand of foundation/powder do you use? N/A Would you call yourself a “people” person? Nope. What is one change you need to make in your life this month? Just one??? What’s been tugging on your heart lately? My PTSD plus self-image has been very, very bad. What is the last thing you did that made you feel guilty? Mom had to clean up my cat’s projectile vomit even though she’s supposed to stay away from this kinda stuff through chemo. I literally cannot fucking touch vomit, never mind what came out of him that night. I felt like absolute fucking shit and I still do because WOW I’m a great adult right!! Do you have any physical traits that are bothering you lately? Like, everything. What kind of dog is your favorite? I’m biased to beagles. What was the last thing you received in the mail? A book. What is the last thing you wrote? Like, physically? My signature at the doctor’s office. Do you still care about the person you first kissed? Way fucking more than I should. Do you require a lot of private time? Definitely more than most people. Do you have any songs currently stuck in your head? I haven’t listened to it in forever for ~reasons~, yet “The Mortician’s Daughter” is stuck in my head badly and really needs to fuck off. What was the last song you downloaded? I dunno, I went on a download binge a while back. Have you ever read a really funny book? I remember at least one. “Bite Me” by IDR-Who. Some vampire satire. Have you ever done something humiliating while drunk? Never reached the point of being drunk. How would you react if your celebrity crush came to your door? fuckin YIKES I am NOT attractive rn go away Has your mom/dad ever walked in on you kissing or anything more with someone? HAHA my mom has always had the decency to knock, not so much his mom a;lwkejrewoei but the answer’s still no. What electronics are in your room? (DVD player, CD player, etc) This laptop, my phone, a Nintendo DS, my iPod… Do you have a box anywhere with special items you'll to keep forever in it? Yes, actually. Grew up calling them “treasure boxes.” Do you have any pictures of yourself on your bedroom walls? Lol no, I’d definitely prefer to not see myself as much as I can. That sounds melodramatic, but I’m being serious. It either depresses me or makes me angry. Does your dad collect anything? The Cleveland Browns’ football team stuff, for one. Maybe Carolina Hurricane stuff, too? Idk. I don’t live with him and don’t go in his “man cave” at his house often ha ha. What's better, a desktop or laptop? Explain. A laptop. Portable; that’s all the explanation ya really need. Do your parents still hide chocolate eggs around on Easter for you? Nah. What do you typically do on Easter Day? We go to my sister’s house to watch the kids do their egg hunting and open their gifts, then we usually go to Ashley’s in-laws’ for dinner. Is there anyone you literally need to exist? Apparently not. Thought so. Never let yourself into that state of mind. What would you prefer to get from a guy/girl: flowers, a hand-written poem, a picture he drew of you or a nice night out? Oh, a hand-written poem would wreck me, yeesh. Or a drawing. But any would be very sweet. Do you remember why you made the last mistake you did? I don’t know the most recent mistake, but probably because I’m just in general a terrified person who second-guesses or overanalyzes everything. Did you check how many calories the last thing you ate had? Yes. I’m back on my calorie-counting obsession again. Are your nails long or short? Short, always. I can’t keep them long. What is your favorite kind of cookie? Just the ordinary chocolate chip is fine. What was the last compliment you received? I don’t know. Who will be the next person you kiss? I normally delete this question because the answer should be so obvious, but I feel like just pointing it out that no one fucking knows who they’re gonna kiss next. It’s a dangerous mindset. Don’t make assumptions about what you’ll have even tomorrow. Have you ever made your own icon? Yeah, on many sites. They’re just about always just edits, though, not truly original work. What color is your computer mouse? It’s black. Have you ever been sung to on your birthday in a restaurant? Yes. Do you like black olives? I don’t like olives period. Do you actually think there will be a zombie apocolypse? Personally, no. I do think it’s scientifically possible, we already see this in insects, but I just don’t imagine it happening to humans before we’re our own downfall. Do you like the person you’ve become over the past years? Fuck no. Have you ever gone to church just to get a significant other? … No…? Have you ever punched a wall out of complete anger? No, that shit is terrifying. Are you really ticklish? YES don’t fucking touch me. How do you decide what you're going to eat each day? I just follow what I’m craving that day. How are you similar to your siblings? Different? Compared to Ashley and Nicole at least, I can’t think of any real similarities off the top of my head. They’re intelligent, motivated, outgoing, successful, yada yada, then there’s me. What's your favorite type of non-fiction literature? Autobiographies by people I’m actually interested in. Do you believe in souls? Soulmates? Souls, absolutely. Soulmates, no. It’s fairytale ideation to think your soul has a perfect match with another, hate to break it to ya. Favorite soundtrack? BITCH don’t make me choose between Shadow of the Colossus and Silent Hill 2. Fucking masterpieces. Pianos or guitars? *shrugs* Depends on the music and my mood. Did an animal ever bite you? Never seriously. How many languages do you speak? Only English fluently. I’m poor at German by now. Wiggly worms or bumble bees? Worms gross me out, bees are Good Boys. Religion? I don’t really identify with any. I just believe there’s some form of ultimate intelligence and essences beyond just the body, and that’s all I even pretend to know. Fog, thunder, or rain? Fog gives me that Silent Hill Vibe *Italian kiss* What regret keeps coming back to haunt you daily? The way I treated Jason after the breakup. If you could cure yourself of one allergy, what would it be? Damn pollen. Do you know anyone else with your name? Yeah. What would you be most afraid of happening if you were to visit Africa? Viruses or botflies. Where are you tempted to move to sometimes? I very legitimately want to live in Canada by now, but I won’t because I’m not moving that far from family. Who seems like they have the perfect life? I try not to make that assumption of anyone. Do you ever take pictures of negative moments? Does taking pictures of roadkill count???? lmao probably Do you think it would be a good idea to post photos of negative moments as well as positive? Well… I guess it depends. Like ngl, the pictures some people share of them having panic attacks to just show how fucking real they are definitely touch you, as do those depicting poverty, etc., BUT I really do think there are limits and also differences in motivations. What time zone are you in? EST. Would you ever post a picture of yourself crying on social media? Wow, speaking of. No. ^Why or why not? I am an UGLY cry-er, my man. But I also just don’t want people to see that, and it’s definitely not on my mind to take a picture during a breakdown. What was the last thing you cried about? My life. Have you ever held a newborn baby? Yes. Do you know anyone who has twins? Yes. Where do you buy calendars from? I don’t. Do you shop at the dollar store often? Not *often*, but we’ll stop by for a snack or something sometimes. Are you following in the career path of any family members? No. Do you feel you missed out on a lot as a kid? I guess in some ways. Who was that best friend you ever had? Sara. What color is your laptop? Black. What are five careers you think you’d be good at? My work history has shown I can’t do shit right. Are you thriving in your life right now? lmao no one is in 2020. Who do you have moral support from? My family, doctor, and a few friends. Who encourages you to go after your dreams? The same as above. Do you have people in your family who want you dead? Wow, I hope not. Do you have a walk-in closet? No, but my room at the new house will. :’) Not that I need one, it’s just pretty cool. How do you feel about people like Elon Musk, Bill Gates, and Jeff Bezos having so much power and control in the world? Do you believe that any one person should have so much power? Let’s be real, in our current world, money is power, and no one should have that much control of the world, especially if your intentions are bad. NOW I don’t know jack shit about any of those are far as morals go, but just saying. It’s dangerous. Has your anxiety alone ever prevented you from doing something you wanted to do? This is ACTUALLY the story of my fucking life. Do you enjoy reading stories and novels that are heavily stylistic, poetic, or unconventional or do you prefer your prose to follow a familiar grammatical structure? Okay, I LOVE those, like Johnny Got His Gun and The Handmaid’s Tale that’s kinda like, run-on writing. Just letting a train of thought go. Those are two of the most powerful books I’ve ever read and they’re both written in a unique fashion. Have you ever fallen for any sort of Internet-based hoax? (e.g., fake celeb death, satire news article…) I’m sure at some point, especially as a kid. Do you tend to read reviews before you watch a movie or read a book? What do you hope to get out of doing so? NO. I don’t wanna have any precognition. When you go to a concert, how far must you travel for the most usual venues you visit? Most are on the other end of the state, and NC is long, so. We’re lucky if they come to Raleigh. Do you rent movies frequently? I never do, really. What is your favorite thing to do outside? Take pictures or swim. What’s your favorite meal to cook? I don’t cook. What movie has been taken WAY too far, as far as sequels go? Oh, I’m sure there are some, but none immediately come to mind. I’m not that into movies. Do you refuse to eat certain foods because of what they look like? Yes. I am VERY poor at getting past how a food looks. What are you listening to? NSP’s cover of “Don’t Fear The Reaper.” It’s fuckin gorgeous. How much homework do you have tonight? N/A Are you wearing any bracelets? Yes; one that Sara got me as well as an ovarian cancer awareness one. What's physically wrong with you right now? JINKIES I just feel really lethargic like always. Do you take any medications daily? Ha ha thanks for actually reminding me I need to now. When was the last time you moved to a new house? Two years ago, and now we’ll be moving to a much better place by the end of this month/early September, finally. When it comes to relationships, are you the jealous type? Nah. Which gift cards do you have in your wallet? Idk actually. It’s not like I use it a lot. Can you remember the last time you felt ill? What was wrong with you? A few nights ago. I was extremely hot, dizzy, and pretty nauseated. I was fine, though. If you wear make-up, do you take it with you, to reapply throughout the day? Does your make-up stay for a long time after you first apply it, or do you find that you need to reapply often? Are you wearing any make-up atm? I pretty much never wear makeup so have never really had a reason to reapply it. I’m definitely not wearing any now. Does your kitchen have a theme? No. Do you like ice cream sandwiches? GIRL yes. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? Earbuds. They’re more comfortable imo but more importantly block out exterior noise very well. Are you a fan of any independent films? ngl, I don’t know exactly what that is and I don’t feel like looking it up. Could you possibly write a successful novel? I very genuinely think some of the RP stories I’ve taken part in are novel-worthy, yes. I wanted to make them books when I was younger, but now I no longer do mainly because there are areas that are just way too fucking dark that I don’t wanna put out there but play massive parts in the stories, so like… Do you regularly watch the news? I never do. Facebook is my “news” source lmao. Who was the last person you video-chatted with? I don’t remember for sure, maybe some doctor? What do you want the theme of your wedding to be? I don’t really think about this, seeing as my mind has changed enough, and it also depends on what my partner wants, too. Have you ever been caught passing a note in class? Noooo, I absolutely hated passing notes because I was genuinely a good student. I only did so very, very rarely if another friend started it. Have you ever had dandruff? I have dandruff AND a dry scalp. It’s a wonderful mix. Have you ever gone through a phase of crushing on EVERYONE? Definitely not. Do you have any clothes with spikes/studs on them? I have a spiked choker, and I might still have gloves with studs? Can you remember what you last clapped for? My mom’s birthday! :’) Have you ever given a pet to someone else? Yes, with cats; we had to do that quite often when I was a kid because we had so many cats, none which we could afford to fix. Then we’ve done it with two dogs we just couldn’t handle. Oh yeah, I gave my iguana away too because he was too high maintenance for me, but also because he DESPERATELY needed a much bigger terrarium, which we couldn’t afford. I absolutely could not watch him in that tiny tank. I miss him a LOT, but he went to a wonderful home! The lady who adopted him sent me pictures upon pictures months after taking him in. Do you know anyone named Walter? No. What's your least favorite ice-cream flavor? Strawberry is fucking disgusting. And that’s coming from someone whose favorite fruit is strawberries. What's your least favorite song by your favorite artist? I’m not sure. There’s a handful that just don’t grab my attention that I don’t even remember them. What was the last good news you heard? I can FINALLY talk to my psychiatrist tomorrow. Who’s your favorite singer of all time? Probably Freddie Mercury. What airline do you fly most? Idk, I don’t really pay attention. I haven’t flown very often though anyway. Do you have a dog that is destructive? I don’t have a dog. What’s one TV series you’ve seen every episode of? Meerkat Manor is the most obvious, ha ha. Maaaaany times. Assuming you have Facebook, who last left you a wallpost? Probably my friend Sammi. Assuming you have hair, how are you wearing it today? It’s too short for me to “wear” it any particular way. It’s just… there lmao. Assuming you're not homeless, what kind of living arrangements do you have? I live with my mom in a house she’s renting. Have you or have you ever considered messing around with the same sex? I’m bisexual so you can guess I’m not opposed to it. Are you particular about any brands of food you will or will not eat? Are there any restaurants you refuse to go to? Brands, no. I don’t eat Chick-fil-a because they’re run by fucking homophobic bigots that monetarily support conversion therapy and other anti-LGBT projects. I’m not giving you any fucking money. What was the most current dream you can remember about? Do you generally dream every night, or hardly at all? It was actually last night, when I dreamed about accidentally running into Jason where I last knew he worked, and he was really hostile. If I don’t take my medicine, I always have nightmares when I sleep.

[too-queer-to-live]

I know pride month is literally almost over but I was inspired by this post to compile a list of songs that Hit Differently when covered by a queer artist/interpreted as explicitly queer:

“Accidentally in Love” by The Counting Crows (yes, the one from Shrek)

“So she said, ‘What’s the problem, baby?’ What's the problem? I don't know, well maybe I'm in love... How much longer will it take to cure this? Just to cure it cause I can't ignore it if it's love”

Cover by Mia Wray

“A Thousand Years” by Christina Perri

“Heart beats fast, colors and promises, how to be brave, how can I love when I'm afraid to fall? ... time stands still, beauty in all she is”

“A Whole New World” from Aladdin

“When did you last let your heart decide? ...  A whole new world, a new fantastic point of view; no one to tell us no or where to go or say we're only dreaming”

Cover by princepeterwolf | Violin Cover by The Shirtless Violinist (ft. gay music video)

“Boys” by Charli XCX

“Don't be mad, don't be mad, not like I had a choice, I was busy thinking 'bout boys”

Cover by gay artist Sakima (with modified lyrics) | Cover by Alex Heart

“Can’t Fight This Feeling” by REO Speedwagon

“I can't fight this feeling any longer, and yet I'm still afraid to let it flow, what started out this friendship has grown stronger, I only wish I had the strength to let it show... I can’t fight this feeling anymore, I’ve forgotten what I started fighting for”

Gay Music Video

“Can’t Help Falling in Love” by Elvis Presley (insp)

“Shall I stay? Would it be a sin if I can’t help falling in love with you?”

Cover by The Sydney Gay & Lesbian Choir | Cover by Pentatonix

“Cut to the Feeling” by Carly Rae Jepsen

“I've been denying how I feel, you've been denying what you want, (you want from me) talk to me baby”

“Delicate” by Taylor Swift

“Is it cool that I said all that? Is it chill that you're in my head? 'Cause I know that it's delicate”

“Dirty Little Secret” by The All-American Rejects

“When we live such fragile lives, it’s the best way we survive... you are the only one that needs to know; I’ll keep you my dirty little secret; don’t tell anyone or you’ll be just another regret”

“Don’t Matter” by Akon

“Nobody want to see us together, but it don’t matter, no... cause we gonna fight... fight for our right to love”

“For Good” by Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel - From Wicked

“I’ve heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn... I do believe I have been changed for the better, and because I knew you... I have been changed for good”

“Girls” by The 1975

“I'm worrying about my brother finding out; what’s the fun in doing what you're told?”

Cover by Daisy Clark

“Grand Theft Autumn / Where Is Your Boy” by Fall Out Boy

“Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman, maybe he won't find out what I know: you were the last good thing about this part of town”

Cover by headlesscabbage

“Heaven” by Julia Michaels

“Love's my religion but he was my faith, something so sacred so hard to replace; falling for him was like falling from grace... no need to imagine, ‘cause I know it’s true; they say all good boys go to heaven, but bad boys bring heaven to you”

Cover by Mark Jeffcoat

“Heaven’s Gate” by Fall Out Boy

“In the end if I don't make it on the list, would you sneak me a wristband? Or would you give me... a boost over Heaven's gate? I'm gonna need a boost ‘cause everything else is a substitute for your love”

“If It Kills Me” by Jason Mraz

“Well all I really wanna do is love you, a kind much closer than friends use... This double life I lead isn't healthy for me, in fact it makes me nervous; if I get caught I could be risking it all”

“I’m Yours��� by Jason Mraz

“It's our God-forsaken right to be loved... so I won't hesitate no more, no more, it cannot wait”

“Jessie’s Girl” by Rick Springfield

“Jessie's got himself a girl and I want to make her mine... I wanna tell her that I love her but the point is probably moot ”

Cover by queer artist Mary Lambert

“Let it Go” by Demi Lovato - From Frozen

“Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I tried; don't let them in, don't let them see, be the good girl you always have to be; conceal, don't feel, don't let them know, well, now they know; let it go, let it go, can't hold it back anymore”

“Like Real People Do” by Hozier

“Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips; we should just kiss like real people do”

“Make You Miss Me” by Sam Hunt

“Every boy you ever met was too easy to forget, well, I ain't going out like that”

Cover by Sophia Scott

“Mr. Brightside” by The Killers

“Coming out of my cage and I've been doing just fine”

ps: It’s a Bisexual Anthem

“Never Stop” by SafetySuit

“And with this love song to you, it’s not a momentary phase”

“Night Changes” by One Direction

“She's falling, doesn't even know it yet, having no regrets is all that she really wants; we're only getting older baby”

Cover by Georgia Merry

“Perfect” by Ed Sheeran

“We are still kids, but we're so in love, fighting against all odds; I know we'll be alright this time”

Cover by Hannah Trigwell | Cover by Luciana Zogbi | Cover by The Shirtless Violinist ft. Tom Goss | Gay Music Video

“Rainbow” by Kesha

“You'll find a rainbow, rainbow, baby trust me, I know life is scary but just put those colors on, girl, come and play along with me tonight”

“Reflection” (Pop Version) by Christina Aguilera - From Mulan

“You may think you see who I really am, but you’ll never know me; every day it’s as if I play a part... I can fool the world but I cannot fool my heart... Somehow I will show the world what's inside my heart and be loved for who I am; who is that girl I see staring straight back at me? Why is my reflection someone I don’t know? Must I pretend that I’m someone else for all time? When will my reflection show who I am inside?”

“Rude” by MAGIC!

“Don’t you know I’m human too? Why you gotta be so rude? I’m gonna marry her anyway... no matter what you say”

Cover by Kina Grannis | LGBT Cover w/ altered lyrics: “It’s not a phase, can't live without her; love me or hate me we will be gay standing at that altar, or we will run away to a more accepting place”

“She Looks so Perfect” by 5SOS

“Let's get out, cause this deadbeat town's only here just to keep us down... You look so perfect standing there in my American Apparel underwear”

Cover by Against The Current

“Shut Up And Dance” by Walk The Moon

“Oh don't you dare look back, just keep your eyes on me;  I said you're holding back, she said shut up and dance with me; this woman is my destiny”

Instrumental Cover by the Lesbian & Gay Big Apple Corps | Cover by Natalie Joly

“Single” by The Neighbourhood

“I don't know if we should be alone together, I still got a crush, that's obvious, if nobody's around, what's stopping us?”

Cover by NeLLa

“Something to Talk About” by Bonnie Raitt

“They keep saying we laugh just a little too loud, we stand just a little too close, we stare just a little too long-- maybe they're seeing something we don't, darlin... let’s give ‘em something to talk about, how about love?”

“Take Me to Church” by Hozier (official video features gay couple)

“The only heaven I'll be sent to is when I'm alone with you; I was born sick, but I love it, command me to be well”

Cover by gay artist Jonathon Royse | Cover by Ellie Goulding

“The Only Exception” by Paramore

“Maybe I know somewhere deep in my soul that love never lasts, and we've got to find other ways to make it alone but keep a straight face”

“Thinking Out Loud” by Ed Sheeran

“People fall in love in mysterious ways, maybe just the touch of a hand... maybe we found love right where we are”

“Out and Proud” by Gangsta Gudiya feat. Nikhil D’souza and Ugoeze - w/ altered lyrics: “People fall in love in every which way, whether it’s a woman or man; doesn’t really matter if I’m straight or gay, I don’t want my love to be bad, so honey now please accept me for who I am; let me live life the only way I can”

“This Is What You Came For” by Calvin Harris ft. Rihanna (inspired by this post)

“Everybody’s watching her but she’s looking at you”

“Thnks fr th Mmrs” by Fall Out Boy

“He tastes like you, only sweeter”

“Treat You Better” by Shawn Mendes

“I know I can treat you better than he can” (and, as I used to mishear it, “any guy like you deserves a gentleman”)

Cover by gay artist TheVloggingNook | Lesbian Version w/ altered lyrics: “any gay like you deserves a lesbian”

“Video Games” by Lana del Ray

“They say that the world was built for two, only worth living if somebody is loving you; baby now you do”

Cover by The Young Professionals (the main reason this song made the list)

“You Belong With Me” by Taylor Swift

“You say you’re fine- I know you better than that, hey whatcha doing with a girl like that?...  Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find that what you're looking for has been here the whole time”

Gay Music Video Re-Make by The YellowJackets

“You’ll Be In My Heart” by Phil Collins

“Why can't they understand the way we feel? They just don't trust what they can't explain; I know we're different, but deep inside us we're not that different at all... don't listen to them, ‘cause what do they know? We need each other, to have, to hold”

(Feel free to add more!!)

[nadziejastar]

I haven’t been the kh fandom long, but whenever I see the old sea salt content (Axel and Roxas) I see fans shipping them romantically and sexually together. And it’s fucking gross. Axel is an adult and Roxas is a child. And I see a good chunk of Axel/Roxas content, which is one factor on why the sea salt dynamic is super popular. Which again, gross.

Don’t forget the Roxas x Axel shippers who thinks it’s cute to ship a grown man and a child together. Like one of the reasons why Roxas and Axel fandom kinda bug me. People who LOVE to over step boundaries and do gross shit

Oh, yeah. I’ve been a fan for a long time, and it’s always bothered me. It was so big, especially after KH2. Honestly, I never understood why. I think the trolls I get are shippers. They’ll send me angry messages about how much they HATE seeing my posts in the tags all the time. You think they’d just…ya know, block me if that was the case? It’s really not that hard. But no. Of course they don’t. They have to personally message me, lol. I guess it makes them feel better?

Being Special

When it comes to what befell our late comrades at Castle Oblivion, ambiguity suits me just fine. But the Keyblade master and Roxas come out and say every little thing that comes to mind. Maybe that’s human, or maybe they’re just special.

I can’t stop anyone from shipping Axel/Roxas. But I honestly don’t know how anyone saw it as romantic from an objective standpoint, especially after Days. In KH2, Roxas made Axel feel like he had a heart.

We don’t have hearts, so we accept the facts we’re given as the truth. But something far more important lies behind that truth. Saïx would laugh at people with no hearts calling one another friends, but that doesn’t make it not so. As the Nobody of the hero of the Keyblade and the Replica of that Nobody, these two are special. Unique in every sense of the word.

But Sora and Xion made him feel the same way. And he didn’t even know Sora personally. I think it was extremely important that Saïx didn’t think people without hearts could be friends. Axel was desperately lonely when he met Roxas and this cannot be overlooked. He and Sora were both special to Axel.

Axel: Love is what happens if there’s something really special between two people.

Roxas: You mean, like, if they’re best friends?

Axel: Well, you can care about your friends, I guess, but that’s not what I’m talking about.

But not in this kinda way. I also find Roxas/Axel gross. And creepy. When I see Axel/Roxas art it just feels so degrading to Axel. He’s SO much better than that. He enjoyed Roxas’ company because he was so pure and innocent. Being romantic with Roxas was the last thing on his mind. The whole idea was that Roxas and Xion are like Sora. He has the pure heart of a child, and can connect to many people. Axel was one of those people. They were special to Axel because they made him remember who he used to be.

Roxas: If I had a heart, you think I could love somebody?

Axel: Once Kingdom Hearts is complete, you’ll be able to do all kinds of things.

Roxas: That’s good.

Axel is not the type of person who would be interested in someone who he didn’t have an equal relationship with. Axel had to teach Roxas basic facts about life and human relationships. He didn’t know what friends were, or what love was. He was 15, but a lot of the time he was more like a little kid due to his amnesia. They were NOT on equal levels. Any romantic interest in Roxas would be exploitative and gross. I was happy with how Days handled Axel/Roxas.

Xion’s Conception

Where did the initial concept for the character Xion come from? Was she perceived before the completion for Kingdom Hearts 2?

Nomura: The name Xion and her background story was thought of and constructed during the production of this title, but we actually had the concept for a girl character like Xion drawn up since Roxas’s defection from Organization XIII. Therefore during the production of this title, we just worked on expanding on the ideas we had for that girl character and wrote Xion’s story around that concept.

Nomura said they came up with the idea of a girl around the time they imagined Roxas’ defection. Personally, I think one of the reasons he emphasized this point was because he was taken aback by the Roxas/Axel shipping. I think the huge popularity of the ship made Nomura and the team uncomfortable, since it’s not really…appropriate. I definitely think he wanted to distance himself from that interpretation, since he loves Axel, and that was not the impression he wanted his character to leave. I think Axel was always envisioned as a lonely guy, who had a tragic life history. He was an assassin, after all. But he was cool and decent. He wasn’t like all of the other members. He wasn’t supposed to come off like he was a sexual predator interested in a kid. That’s not cool.

How did you come up with Xion, who became such a key person in the storyline?Nomura: We showed how Roxas left Organization XIII in KH2. At the same time as we were polishing off the KH2 project, we had assumed to a certain extent what Roxas’ movements were during the time period when Days happens, and thought that “Roxas definitely left the Organization because of the influence of someone close to him.” And, we thought that “someone” should be a girl his own age. Flowing from that, we began to construct the storyline, beginning with Xion’s existence.

They thought a girl his own age should be the main influence causing him to leave. Roxas/Axel being the only important people in each others’ lives would send the wrong message. Xion was a necessary member of the trio to send the right message. 358/2 Days went out if its way to distance itself from the shippy interpretation of Axel/Roxas.

Xion’s memories were really Sora’s. But the form she had taken was reminiscent of Kairi. And that was because of Sora’s memories inside Roxas—the memories that knew Kairi as someone precious to him. Like Xion had become someone precious to Roxas.

I remember thinking that when I first played it ten years ago, too. It’s not that Roxas didn’t care about Axel. But Xion was special to him. That kind of special. The game was not even subtle about it. Roxas had a love interest and it was NOT Axel. He wasn’t broken up when he parted with Axel like he was with Xion. Their scene was really intimate. Roxas cried. Their Mystery Gear is “Aubade”. An aubade is a morning love song or poem about lovers separating at dawn. It’s the morning version of a serenade. And since both Roxas and Xion were influenced by Sora and Kairi’s memories, it made sense that they were the primary couple. Sora’s memories of Kairi are his most precious. That’s what Roxas and Xion’s whole relationship was about.

Roxas likes Girls

Xaldin: All the servants speak highly of her. It’s only fitting someone so well regarded would be given such fine lodgings.

Roxas: She’s pretty, isn’t she?

Roxas was like Ventus.

Merryweather: Stop, you get away from her!

Ven: Wha– Oh, I’m sorry. It’s just, I’ve never seen anyone so beautiful.

Unlike Axel, he noticed pretty girls. He didn’t express any interest in Axel that way (thank God). But he took a particular interest in Xion right away.

Axel: Did something happen yesterday?

Roxas: Nah, it’s nothing.

Axel: …Girls sure are complicated, huh?

Roxas had girl issues. Axel was amused by it. He knew Roxas liked Xion and he couldn’t have cared less. Because he didn’t look at Roxas that way.

Roxas: How did you know that’s what I was thinking?

Axel: Because you’re not so complicated. But don’t take it personal. Most Nobodies aren’t.

Roxas: You mean…real people are more complex than us?

Axel: Well, sure! Especially if they’re real and female. That’s like a double dose of complicated.

Axel thinks he’s not complicated. It’s his way of saying that they’re not on equal levels, psychologically. As an adult, Axel can’t relate to Roxas in the necessary way to have an intimate relationship.

Axel: Well, just give her some time.

Roxas: Why?

Axel: Because if you rush in there and try to fix things, you’ll just press more buttons.

Roxas: Fine, whatever.

Axel: Ha ha. You’re all right, kid.

Roxas: Don’t call me “kid”!

Roxas: Stop laughing!

Axel even calls him “kid”.

Ven: What does THAT mean?

Terra: You’ll find out someday, I’m sure.

Ven: I wanna know now.

Terra: You’re too young to know now.

Ven: Quit treating me like a kid.

Like Terra did with Ven. And he hated it just as much as Ven did. It was clear to me that Terra and Aqua were on the same level with each other, and related to Ven differently. Roxas and Xion were on equal levels, and related to Axel differently.

Roxas/Xion & Sora/Kairi

Axel: Roxas… Xion is like a mirror that reflects you.

Roxas: What?

Axel: The Organization made her to duplicate your powers. She’s a puppet.

Roxas: Have you gone nuts? Xion’s a person, not a puppet.

Axel: She’s smoke and mirrors, Roxas. And when I looked in the mirror…It wasn’t you I saw.

Roxas: I don’t know what you’re talking about, but Xion is Xion. You can’t expect her to be me.

Axel: That’s not what I mean, Roxas. It was only a matter of time before somebody had to break the mirror.

Roxas got angry when Axel fought Xion.

Roxas: You mean destroy her. Answer me!

Axel: Roxas, if somebody doesn’t, you’ll… You won’t be you anymore.

Roxas: I’ll always be me! Your best friend–just like Xion!

Axel: Roxas, you’re…you’re not seeing the bigger picture. Any of it.

Roxas: Ugh, forget this.

Axel: Roxas! Why can’t you understand…

He wouldn’t listen to what Axel was telling him, even though Axel was trying to save him.

Xion: What, did you two have a fight?

Roxas: I can’t believe that jerk would actually attack you.

Xion: So he’s a jerk now? Roxas, I wouldn’t be sitting here with you if Axel hadn’t done that. He’s your best friend.

Roxas: So are you.

Even Xion defends Axel, and tries to explain that he just did what he had to do. Roxas won’t even listen to her. He can’t think clearly when it comes to Xion. It was like Sora in Castle Oblivion. He wouldn’t listen to Donald and Goofy when they tried to reason with him about Naminé. And since both situations involved memories of Kairi, this made sense.

Xion: Here, I brought you this. It’s a seashell. I’ve been picking one up every time I go out on a mission. Hold it up to your ear.

Roxas is sentimental about the seashells Xion left him. He put them by her bed too, when he was afraid she wouldn’t wake up.

Xion: It’s too late…for me to undo my mistakes. But you can’t let Xemnas…have Kingdom Hearts. You can’t. Good-bye, Roxas. See you again. I’m glad…I got to meet you. Oh…and of course, Axel, too. You’re both my best friends. Never forget. That’s the truth.

It was the only thing she left behind after telling Roxas to never forget. He sheds a tear for her.

Xion: Roxas, don’t be sad. I came from you and Sora. I am you…the same way that I am Sora. You’ll forget me, but the memories themselves will never go away. Memories of you and me will always be together…forever, inside him.

It all suggested to me that Roxas had romantic feelings for Xion. The seashell thing was special—something meaningful only between them. It was very personal, related to their memories of Destiny Islands. Something only they would understand about each other. They’d never forget each other. Like Sora and Kairi.

Axel’s Memories

However there were two parallel stories in Days. Roxas and Xion’s connection to Sora was one. But Axel’s connection to Sora was the other. Xion was born in Castle Oblivion. And Axel changed after coming back from there. He told Roxas Sora rubbed off on him. Sora’s memories of Kairi formed Xion. But his memories of Kairi also had a connection to Axel, too. Axel and Sora had parallel character arcs in Castle Oblivion. He had special memories of his own that nobody else would understand.

Axel: You will need to follow your memories. Trust what you remember and seek what you forget. Then you will find someone very special.

Goofy: You mean King Mickey and Riku?

Axel: You will just have to give some more thought to who it is that’s—most important to you. Our most precious memories lie so deep within our hearts that they’re out of reach. But I’m sure that you can find yours, Sora.

Axel started off trying to manipulate Sora.

Riku: And as long as they’ve got their hands on Sora’s most precious memories–the ones of Kairi–I don’t think Sora will recover.

Sora’s most precious memories were of Kairi. These were going to be the key to manipulating his heart, using Naminé. All of his memories would be replaced, and he’d be under the Organization’s control. But Axel was impressed by the strength of his heart and changed his mind.

“I mean, Demyx doesn’t have a heart, but he’d go nuts if you took his sitar, wouldn’t he?” Roxas tried.

“Huh…you’ve got a point. So, okay, say you don’t need a heart for things to be important to you… Maybe the closest thing we Nobodies have is our pasts. It’s the memories that give things value.”

After coming back, when Axel is asked what’s most important to him, he says it’s his memories of the past.

Day 150: Too Precious to Lose

Xion didn’t come to the clock tower again today. She and Saïx had some kind of argument. Axel and I talked for a while about the things we can’t bear to lose. Axel thinks that for Nobodies, it’s our pasts, because that’s all we have to remember the pain of losing something.

They’re too precious for him to lose—his weakness. Just like Sora’s memories of Kairi were.

Marluxia: In this place, to find is to lose, and to lose is to find. That is the way in Castle Oblivion.

Sora: Castle Oblivion?

Marluxia: Here you will meet people that you have known in the past. And you will meet people you miss.

They are all that’s left to remember the pain of losing something. Which was what Castle Oblivion was all about.

Goofy: Don’t worry, fellahs! We might forget about where we’ve been or what hings we’ve seen, but we won’t forget who are friends are.

Donald: I don’t know…

Goofy: C'mon, Sora, when you turned into a Heartless, did you forget about me and Donald?

Sora: Of course I didn’t!

Goofy: There ya go! No matter what happens, you won’t forget your friends.

Sora: Huh… You’re right. Thank you, Goofy.

Donald: So, if there’s nothing here that can make you forget about your friends…then we have nothing to be scared of! Let’s go!

Axel was intrigued that Sora retained a sense of self after becoming a Heartless. It was because of the strength of his heart. He never forgot his friends. Kairi was even able to change him back because she couldn’t forget him.

Lea: I want everybody I meet to remember me. Inside people’s memories, I can live forever.

Isa: I know I won’t forget you. Believe me, I try all the time.

Lea: See, I’m immortal!

Axel felt the same way in the past as Sora did. He remembered who he was thanks to being in Castle Oblivion.

Sora: Why me?

Axel: You have lost sight of the light within the darkness. And it seems that you’ve forgotten that you forgot.

Axel knew that Sora’s memories were going to be distorted and he’d forget Kairi.

Axel: Nothing lasts forever, man. Least of all for a bunch of Nobodies. But you know, we’ll still have each other…even if things change and we can’t do this anymore.

Roxas: Yeah?

Axel: As long as we remember each other, we’ll never be apart. Got it memorized?

But it was really Axel who had forgotten that he’d forgot.

Axel: Would you like me to give you a hint?

Sora: I’m gonna figure it out for myself. If you’re in my way—

Donald: Don’t worry, Sora! We’ll protect you!

Axel: Good answer. Just what I’d expect from the Keyblade master. But be forewarned… When your sleeping memories awaken, you may no longer be who you are now.

He told Sora that he’d no longer be the same after his sleeping memories awakened. 

Naminé: No matter how much I change his memory, Sora will never forget Kairi. Memories of me— More false memories of me will just make his feelings for Kairi even stronger than before. Because…I’m the shadow of Kairi.

But Sora was able to stay the same. Naminé changed sides, and his memories were restored. He wouldn’t even remember Castle Oblivion afterwards.

Talking to Roxas and Xion always brings back memories of my human life, back when I was a kid. It’s a weird sensation. I ought to be able to share all this with Saïx, but I just don’t feel like it anymore. It’s strange, but I’m content with just missing what’s gone. I’m not the one who changed. You did.

Axel’s words were foreshadowing himself. After his sleeping memories awakened, he’s the one who changed. But he really just went back to being his true self. Axel’s memories of Isa were the equivalent of Sora’s memories of Kairi. Sora slowly forgot who was most important to him. Axel slowly remembered who was most important to him. It’s sad that Lea’s relationship with Isa was so underrated, and got treated with such little respect. If the popularity of the Roxas/Axel ship had anything to do with it, then that is just sad and pathetic.

[queermediastudies]

Only Two Ways To Be Gay

by:Antonio Castaneda

(Latter Days movie cover)

This film revolves around Elder Aaron and Christian as they seek to find a piece of themselves, they never thought they’d have as one seeks finding himself the other falls in love. Elder Aaron holds a high ranking and is serving his mission in Los Angeles and believes in the word of the lord and has never questioned it till he meets Christian. Christian is an out and proud individual that takes no shame in who he is, since he is always sleeping around with curious guys and other gay guys. He makes a bet that he can sleep with Aaron yet falls for him and eventually only gets a kiss from him, without knowing that the brothers of his congregation saw it. This sends Aaron back home as he is dis-communicated yet now seeks the approval of his parents, he soon faces suicidal thoughts as he is shunned. Christian searches for him only to find his parents who tell him that he’s taken his own life because of what he did to him, when he’s actually been placed in a conversion therapy camp.  Aaron is placed through torture and one night listens to a song that moves him to leave and find Christian, while Christian has been unable to forget Aaron touch.The film deals with the coming out narrative as well as the set up of opposite sides of masculine/feminine gays, while also trying to create a good image of what every gay wants.

When introduced to Christian one might notice that he takes the form of what it is to be a stereotypical gay as he embodies characteristics of the opposite sex. He dresses in short shorts and doesn’t care if he seen as macho as his own roommate considers him almost like one of the girls. He is un-apologetically himself because one realizes in the film that his parents rejected him when he came out and left him to fend for himself. He takes on these stereotypes and is challenged by a closeted gay to be more than the superficial man he’s been. This is a perfect example of an over exaggerated representation of a gay man as he starts off flamboyant without a care for who he sleeps with and this only feeds into the negative ideas that gay men only seek sexual contact. The film feeds into negative portrayals as well as centers around this idea that gay men seek to change straight men and its almost like a game to them.

(Moment in which Aaron and Christian kiss)

Aaron is a great representation of the queer narrative and coming out. He is sent home in exile and is forced to confront his family and searches for approval from his congregation. He forced himself to be one thing to be accepted by his family and searches for their approval as he returns home. In one scene he even asks his mother to look at him and he realizes that she will never love what he has become, which in her eyes is nothing. “that the most important personal relationships a gay or lesbian character has are those he has with heterosexuals (Dow,pg. 10)).” This is proven when Aaron chooses to attempt to take his life and put himself out of this shame, he only takes their views in consideration and forgets that Christian fell and cared for him. Although he is unsuccessful and is sent to conversation therapy, he starts to accept himself and moves away from the seeking acceptance. “‘the internal ruse of confession’’:  the assumption that’ ‘confessions free, but power reduces one to silence; truth does not belong to an order of power but shares an original affinity with free-dom’’ (p. 60). (Dow, pg4).”

(Aaron confronts his mother 1:43-4:41)

“Homosexuals want the same thing: to be open in this society, to live a life without fear of reprisal from being homosexual- to live a life of respect. (Gross, pg. 45).” This explains something the characters in the film attempt to create towards the end which is a good relationship in which they even have a sexual scene. They embody some positive characteristics, but this is only for the last 15 minuets of the film, where there is isn’t any real growth from the characters. This part of the film is a positive outlook yet doesn’t last and although it is a good view it lacks detail or any idea of them having a happy ending. There is also a song that is played by a straight actress and she takes Christians feelings and places them in the song. It is similar to the idea of queerness in music and not actually being represented, since she sings about him calling to heaven for him, yet nobody is there to represent these two guys as one. The film also has a moment where the radio talks about her song actually being about her and not about the man she wrote it about.

(The end to their story)

The ways this affected me as I did watch this film when I was 18 and it gave me an insight into what many would expect me to be, especially considering that I was active in the congregation of my church. This film made it hard for me to want to come out because I didn’t want to lose my family or be pushed out of the church. These representations create these negative experience’s which are a reality but also exaggerates the only other option that exists when one isn’t closeted which is half a man. These representations can damage the ways in which younger generations choose to come out and or the ways in which they create an identity for themselves.  One strength to the film is that it does allow the audience to see the two characters have intercourse and sleep together, yet the lighting is adjusted so that their bodies can be confused for a heterosexual couple, especially since Christian has long hair and Aaron's body cover his when he isn’t covering Aaron's. “From the OTS and the long shot to camera distance and framing, cinematographers often use their art to give gay viewers just enough to placate them, so they cannot launch Facebook campaigns decrying the ways a show romantically treats its gay characters (Martin, https://www.flowjournal.org/2012/09/it%E2%80%99s-not-in-his-kiss-gay/).” These methods are used to make gay relationships non-offensive to straight audiences, which is why although its a step in the right direction it ins’t as good for queer audiences. 

The song from the film:

References:

Bonnie Dow (2001) Ellen, Television, and the Politics of Gay and LesbianVisibility, Critical Studies in Media Communication, 18:2, 123-140, DOI: 10.1080/07393180128077

Gross, Larry (2001). “Ch 2: Coming Out and Coming Together” and “Ch 3: Stonewall and Beyond” in Up from Invisibility: Lesbians, Gay Men, and the Media in America, 21-55. 

It's (Not) In His Kiss: Gay Kisses, Narrative Strategies, and Camera Angles in Post-Network Television Comedy Alfred L. Martin, Jr. / The University of Texas at Austin. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.flowjournal.org/2012/09/it’s-not-in-his-kiss-gay/

J. (2011, October 06). Latter Days -Last Scene. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mt5Z97LR9Q8

M. (2011, January 22). Latter Days, Steve Sandvoss, He loved me (mormon persecution of gays). Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZoLKb7KuS-w

Releasing, T. (2011, July 13). Latter Days - Gay Movie Official HD Trailer - TLA Releasing. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5K0RLg3c0w

B. (2009, October 17). Tuesday 3 a m. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AnuT3-VZXk

[prism-rush]

Prism Rush Main Story Episode 4 Chapter 3

Beyond the Rainbow!! -sparkling acceleration to spring-

Episode 4:  The Reason We Will Give Our All #3

First Previous Chapter

Translators notes: Get buckled for not only the conclusion to Kouji and Yu’s battle in Hollywood, but also some very important Kakeru as well. This is another one of my favorite chapters! (Oh, do I have to explain the whole red string thing again or...?)

Kouji: Yu, why do you want to challenge me to a prism show battle?

Yu: Because I don’t like your attitude! 

Kouji: Huh?

Yu: You look at me like you think you know everything. Don’t get all high and mighty because you’re in America now. Once you see the all-knowing all-powerful Zeus’ prism show, I want to see you groveling at my feet!

Kouji: ...Eheh. Got it. You want to show off your skills so I’ll see how you’ve grown. 

Kakeru: H... Hold on a sec lil’bro! We can’t even do prism jumps yet! 

Yu: Can it! 

Kouji: I won’t go easy on you. 

Kakeru: That look in Kouji’s eyes... he’s serious!

Kouji: The song will be... “Over the Sunshine”!

Kakeru: Woah! Looking at Kouji now, you’d have no idea he’s had any break from prism shows at all! His dance moves and his voice quality are the same as always.. wait, even better! 

Yu: H.. Hmph! I expected as much!

Kouji: Prism Jump! The red string of fate... Summer Love! 

Kakeru: Woaaaah! My hearttttt!

Yu: Ugh...! 

Kouji: I’m just getting warmed up! 

Yu: AAAAHH!! 

Kakeru: Lil’ bro! He’s gotten whipped back by Kouji’s red string of love!

Kouji: Yu! How’d you like that? Don’t tell me you’re beaten already?! 

Yu: ....Ugh...

Kakeru: Lil’ bro’s a mess. I can’t look! Stop this already! ....AHH! 

Yu: Kakeru?! You took a hit for me.... 

Kouji: Is this all you’ve got to show for yourselves? Where is your love for prism shows?!

Kakeru: This is... Kouji-san’s whip of love?!

Yu: No... I... I can perform a show better than Over the Rainbow... I 

Kouji: Take this! 

Yu: AHHHHHHHHH!!! 

Kakeru: Lil’bro’s all tied up in string! 

Kouji: Yu! In order to cast off this string, you’re going to have to show me some love power stronger than my own. 

Yu: The power of love....

Kouji: The path to becoming a prism star is to unlock your own heart! 

Kakeru: Lil’ bro..!! 

Yu: ......HUAAAAAAAH!!! 

Kakeru: Yu burst out of Kouji’s red string of love!

Yu: I... I love my friends at Edel Rose! 

Kakeru: WOOAAH! An unexpected confession! My heart is pounding! 

Yu: They are always there for me no matter what, and fight by my side to reach greater and greater heights! When I am down they cheer me up, and when I’m worried about something they are always ready to talk. Every day is so I can’t smile enough... I... I...

 OF COURSE!! I should take all that love for them and put it right into writing the greatest songs! I am Zeus! There is nothing I cannot do!! 

Kakeru: Could it be..! 

Yu: Prism Jump! Jewel Spin Zeus! 

Kakeru: He jumped!!?? SO COOL! That was a true leap of the heart! It was so divinely bright I can’t even open my eyes! Wha, Kouji, you too?! 

Kouji: Yu... See, you can do pretty well for yourself. 

Yu: *catching his breath* Well, now do you know the power of Zeus?

Kakeru: He really did a prism jump.... Wow.... 

Kouji: And Kakeru, how about you? 

Kakeru: I.... 

Kouji: That look on your face tells me you’ll never be a prism star! 

Kakeru: Huh?! 

Kouji: We’re not finished yet! Prism Jump! STAND BY ME! Infinite Hug! 

Kakeru: W.. Waaaah! Infinite Koujis... are all hugging me...!

Kouji: Kakeru, how does it feel?

Kakeru: I... huah... ah.... 

Kouji: Your heart has grown so cold... 

I’m just going to have to keep hugging you harder, stronger! 

Kakeru: HUAAAAUAAUAH!!!

It’s so warm... Kouji’s warmth is coming into me... it’s like nothing I have ever felt before... No... wait, I have felt this before. Of course, Edel Rose... 

Kouji: It seems your heart has began to warm up, hasn’t it Kakeru...

Kakeru: My family has always forced me to be competitive. It’s the pressure of being an heir. It’s been nothing but envy and misery...  but somehow I’ve always gotten through it. Lying and being betrayed have been parts of everyday life. There is never a moment of peace in a household like that. 

Yu: Kakeru...

Kakeru: I joined Edel Rose just to get away from that. And then... I learned for the first time what a warm home is like... Somewhere I can be accepted just like that without having be someone I’m not... It makes me feel so good about myself that... I want everyone to see who I really am! 

I want to be accepted by everyone! So...

Kouji: Kakeru! Now’s the time!

Kakeru: Prism Jump!  

A Definite Date! Invitation to First Class special-service-just-for-you!

Yu: Kakeru jumped too?! ... Wait a sec, what kind of a prism jump was that?! 

Kakeru: I’ll always jump in a way which shows the true essence of me! 

Yu: So this is the leap of Kakeru’s heart... I’ve never seen him smile like this before... 

Kouji: The two of you are looking much better now... Eheh. 

(later)

Kakeru. But to think both of us would have our first prism jumps in the USA! Things really are different in the land of the free! 

Yu: .......Hey.

Kakeru: Hm? 

Yu: I just... wanted to say thank you... It was because you up and brought me to Hollywood, that somehow I... I got back the confidence to write you guys your songs.

Kakeru: Ehehe! It’s because you love us all so much!    

Yu: Y.. YOU! If you go spreading that around I’ll write you such a crappy song! 

Kakeru: No don’t!!

I just want to be myself! Make my song a jammin’, groovin’, party time song! 

Yu: ..Excuse me?

Kakeru: I’m going make use of my high spec, luxurious vibes and write lyrics so exciting they’ll make every girl in the world think she might someday get her chance with me!! 

So I’ll be counting on you to write the perfect song to match, lil’bro! 

Yu: Well I have no idea what you’re talking about but... 

Kakeru: Thanks to Kouji, I understood something. It’s OK for me to be myself. Edel Rose accepted me the way that I am. So, I an going to write lyrics that represent the real me! That’s what I wanted to tell you. 

Yu: Okay, I got it. I’ll write you that perfect song. Just you wait. Even though Kouji was really hard on us, he must have been really worried about us to go that far. 

Kakeru: Huh? 

Yu: When he said he wouldn’t listen, he was really just trying to get us riled up. 

Kakeru: Well... it was a pretty harsh way to teach us a lesson... but..

Yu: That guy. Even though he looks kind, he’s actually pretty sadistic. Well, thank you Kouji.. I’ll definitely show you I can write a song even better than you someday! 

Kakeru: Well!! Since, you’ve got your confidence back, shall we take a little stroll across the 50 states? 

Yu: Whaat?! I don’t have time for that...

Kakeru: But you haven’t seen the Statue of Liberty or the Grand Canyon yet, right?! They will surely spark your imagination and lead into writing better and better songs! Come on, let’s go! 

Yu: Hey, hold on wait! 

(back at the studio)

Kouji: Those two really turned themselves around. They found the answers they each were looking for and succeeded in prism jumps by their own skill. 

I guess I can stop worrying about how things are going at Edel Rose... Eheh. 

(back at Edel Rose)

Shin: Kakeru-san and Yu-kun really went to Hollywood...! 

Leo: So lucky! I wanna go! 

Minato: Hey, could you guys help me put together some snacks? 

Next chapter.